Prior to starting her journey as an entrepreneur, Christal Allen-Harrahil was in the higher education sector for about 10 years. She believed that was her calling– that she’d be a dean, a VP, or a president of a university one day. But during her last three years in education, she began to realize that her ladder was leaning on the wrong building. That wasn’t her climb.
Christal wasn’t sure what she was meant to do, but sooner or later, she ended up right where she needed to be. Today she’s a Life & Relationship Coach empowering women in real estate to create fulfilling relationships through her signature A-B-C process. She found her climb, and her calling. This is her story.
Christal’s website: https://christalallen.com/
Jessmyn:
Hi, and welcome to Interact’s Creator Stories podcast. Interact is the easiest way to convert curious people into loyal and happy customers by using a lead generating quiz. On Creator Stories, we get to hear the entrepreneur’s journey.
This is a podcast about how those creators took their knowledge and experiences to carve out a place in the world, owned what they know is special about themselves and turned it into a successful company.
Today we get to meet Christal Allen Harrahill, a life and relationship coach for women in real estate. She helps her clients stop the petty fights with their partners and get back to feeling like they did when they were first dating. She empowers women to create fulfilling relationships right now through her signature ABC process, Awareness, Becoming and Change.
She is an accomplished business woman and certified coach with a relatable down to earth vibe that makes you feel safe and cared for. All right, let’s get started. Hi guys, and welcome back to Interact’s Creator Stories podcast. As always, I’m so excited to be with you. I’m your host Jessmyn Solana, and with me today I have Christal Allen Harrahill. Christal, thank you so much for hopping on.
Christal:
You’re so welcome, Jessmyn. I’m excited to just have this chat with you.
Jessmyn:
I know. And for those of you who are listening, we’ve had to reschedule this recording six times. And you know what, we’re finally here so we’re super excited to get this story out. I know when I talked to you last year actually, I was like, “This is going to be a good episode.” So I’m really excited.
Christal:
Thank you. I’m looking forward to it.
Jessmyn:
So people did get your more formal bio before us hopping on to record, but can you just kind of in your own words go a little bit more deeper into who you are, what you do, and the customers that you serve?
Christal:
Thank you. Yes. I am a Las Vegas native. And prior to starting as an entrepreneur, I was actually in the higher education sector for about 10 years. And I thought that that was going to be my thing. I was going to be become a dean, be VP, be president of a university one day.
And really in those last probably three or four years in higher ed, I really realized that my ladder was leaning on the wrong building. Right? That wasn’t my climb that I was meant to do. And so I think what’s kind of nice about my journey is that I actually didn’t have any direct examples around me to start in business.
And so when you hear someone say, “Well, I don’t have anything special about me, or I don’t know how to do this or that, so how can I start a business?” That kind of was me. And so I found the basic level things that I could put out there as a service just to get my feet wet. And it really has taken me so far.
And so the first iteration of my business, I was a personal concierge. So I would literally be taking kids to ballet practice, taking dry cleaning, because I’m thinking, “Yeah, I don’t have some of these skills like marketing or website design, but I’m responsible and I’m trustworthy, so let me just go for it.”
And from there, since I was in the car a lot, I started listening to podcasts. And I remember the first podcast that I listened to was John Lee Dumas, Entrepreneur on Fire. And he would mention his VA, his virtual assistant frequently. And I’m like, “Who is this person?” Right? And how are they working from home? And I did a little research and I was like, “You know what?
I could actually easily transition kind of what I’m doing now to an online space.” And so one of my in-person clients who I was doing concierge for, it just so happened that he needed some online admin support. And that really is how my journey as an online business owner began as a VA, general VA.
And then I niched down to specialize in real estate as a VA. And then over the years, right? I transitioned to where I am now as a life and a relationship coach for women in real estate. So a lot happened between… Right? That story that I just shared. But I really just want your listeners to know that there is no right or wrong way to start. There is no perfect way to do it. It’s just how you do it. And just don’t give up.
Jessmyn:
Yeah. I love how it seemed sort of like a rollercoaster, how did you get from point A to point B. And I know you said that there’s stuff in between there, but it really is just this sort of trial and error.
Christal:
Yeah.
Jessmyn:
Try something. Do I like it? Do I not like it? And reassessing. And something, and I feel like you might relate to this because something that I’ve heard people say a lot is they took too long to sort of make that switch when they knew it wasn’t for them or they knew what they were doing wasn’t what they wanted to be doing and they felt like they wish they could have started a little earlier.
Christal:
Yeah. No, I can definitely relate to that. And especially when, and you’ll notice this even after you start your business, if you don’t have, for lack of better words, the support or community of people around you who even understand your aspirations, sometimes if you allow it to be, that can be challenging. Right? Because you’re talking about stuff that no one has any idea what you’re talking about or they’re just not familiar with that type of thing.
And so it has the potential to be lonely. And so that’s why it’s really important to just remember that those answers are within you and listen to your intuition, listen to your gut. You know when you’re not in alignment. And when you start feeling that, I think it’s helpful to just start exploring. Just get curious.
Jessmyn:
Right.
Christal:
And in doing so, what you need to do will be revealed. I’m a big believer in that.
Jessmyn:
I love that sort of a fate situation.
Christal:
Absolutely.
Jessmyn:
I love that.
Christal:
Yeah.
Jessmyn:
So let’s jump into that little bit where you went from real estate into life and relationship coaching. What was that transition?
Christal:
Yeah. So for seven years, my business had three iterations in those seven years. So I general VA then niched down into real estate as a VA. And then I also started business coaching. And I loved that.
And so I was like, “Okay, this is definitely something that I want to do more of.” Because I love teaching and I love encouraging others that they can do it. Because sometimes it’s almost like we do need someone to believe in us until we can catch up with that same belief in ourselves.
Jessmyn:
Right.
Christal:
And thereafter, I enrolled, actually last year, so 2021, I enrolled in a six month life coach certification program where I certified and went through really rigorous training that really changed the trajectory I feel like of my business because I knew that I wanted to focus on relationships after going through that program.
But I wanted to keep some familiarity with my niche so I decided to keep real estate, so relationship coaching for women in real estate. But I love the business coaching and I love talking business any day, trust me. But I also realized that the relationship coaching is something that I could see myself doing literally for until I’m 90, right?
Jessmyn:
Right?
Christal:
For who? What is retirement? Right? I don’t even think of that traditionally. After going through the training and starting working with clients and even being reflective on my own journey, right? In relationships and in my marriage, I just knew that this was something that I can just take this as a marathon. I’m so excited about this chapter.
Jessmyn:
Oh, I love that. I love that.
Christal:
Yeah.
Jessmyn:
And when you say relationships, do you mean more personal relationships or does it have sort of a business… I don’t know the word that I’m thinking of.
Christal:
No, it’s okay. I appreciate that question.
Jessmyn:
Essence. Essence in there.
Christal:
Yeah.
Jessmyn:
Essence.
Christal:
I appreciate that question. So the focus is primarily on with your partner, right? So with romantic relationships. But the beautiful thing about this work is doing this work, you essentially work on the relationship with yourself and your partner benefits from that and so does every other relationship. So the…
Jessmyn:
I love that.
Christal:
Yeah. So it is intended for your romantic relationship with your spouse or your partner, but it’s such a ripple effect in the benefits.
Jessmyn:
Right. Right. And I guess, in this work that it sounds like it gets pretty deep probably, I’m just assuming.
Christal:
Yes.
Jessmyn:
But I’m sure it gets really deep and probably pretty heavy. How do you kind of decompress at the end of the day when you’re like, “Wow, that…” I’m sure sometimes you’re like, “That was a lot for today.”
Christal:
Yeah. Yeah. That is something that I think is probably overlooked. When you’re in a position, whether you’re a W2 nine to fiver or you have your own business, you… And if you’re in a position where you’re pouring into others, you have to make sure you do the same thing for yourself, right? Because you cannot pour from an empty cup. And so I walk the walk, I have a coach, right?
Jessmyn:
[inaudible 00:10:35]
Christal:
So just like I encourage people to come get coached, get help, I have someone where I can just kind of run things by, I can maybe look back at a tough session and evaluate it or just kind of let my emotions come out about it, that type of thing.
And so in addition to that, just having my own mental management practice where I do self-coaching, where I just write down some of the thoughts that I’m having. Or maybe I challenge some beliefs that I have discovered or coming up and maybe hindering me from what I want to do when I want to get more curious about why I’m doing that.
And look, and that combination of things happen, but it doesn’t look perfect. Right? It’s just, it’s making it a point however, to make time to have that self-care and just take care of your beautiful brain because it is a powerful tool.
Jessmyn:
I love that. I feel like that might be the first time I ever asked that question because I’ve interviewed a couple coaches before.
Christal:
Good.
Jessmyn:
But I never thought of, you are giving advice all day and but how do you take care of yourself at the end of it? I feel like we’re our worst sort of, kind of, I don’t want to say critic, but in the same idea of you have to practice what you preach, but we don’t always do it.
Christal:
Yeah.
Jessmyn:
You know?
Christal:
Mm-hmm.
Jessmyn:
And I love that. I love that you do that. You’re like, “If I’m going to take care of other people, I also need that in my practice.”
Christal:
Yes.
Jessmyn:
I also need that.
Christal:
I’m so happy you brought that question to the table because it really is important.
Jessmyn:
Yeah. So I’ve been doing coaching through Interact for the past, I think since 2020, so almost two years I think. I started in the middle of it. But it’s amazing how much just processing feelings and thoughts that come out of your day that you…
Christal:
Yeah.
Jessmyn:
That you feel like people would judge you for.
Christal:
Yes.
Jessmyn:
But in this really safe space, you’re able to just say what you feel and then kind of put the pieces together of why do I feel that way.
Christal:
Yes.
Jessmyn:
How can I sort of change the way I think and rewire my brain so when it comes up again, it’s not the same sort of damaging feelings that it is right now as it’s happening.
Christal:
Yes, you said that so beautifully. And I love that that’s something that Interact is committed to offering as a resource or a benefit. I think that is such a wonderful example to set.
Jessmyn:
Oh, yeah. So…
Christal:
As a company culture. Yeah.
Jessmyn:
It’s so nice. I feel so bad when I talk to people about how much coaching I get because not everybody offers it. But yeah.
Christal:
Yeah.
Jessmyn:
It’s very much a great opportunity in order to actually grow and continue doing this, doing things like this, having conversations like this and sort of understanding that. But…
Christal:
Yeah.
Jessmyn:
That does bring me to, as you’re working with a coach let’s say, right? And you’re trying to process and you’re like, “Okay, this is happening in my business,” at what point does that actually change things in your business or maybe the way you do things?
Or are you ever thinking, “Oh, I should implement that or I shouldn’t implement that.” And at what point do you say, “No, I know which way I want to take this and that was great advice, but I’m not going to do it right now.”
Christal:
Yeah. No, I love that you are asking that. I think just kind of… And you know some. It’s interesting that this comes up because I was just having some honest conversations with myself that I can be an easy sell. Right?
Jessmyn:
Mm-hmm.
Christal:
And so when I am looking at making changes in my business and many times looking to someone in the online space to maybe help me with that, and typically it’ll be someone that I’ve followed for a while or something like that, or just someone that I really resonate with.
But I’ve learned that I’m not too proud. So it was kind of harder for me to come to that realization that I am an easy sell and I get excited about learning. But as an entrepreneur, it really is important to balance consuming with creating. Right? We can’t just stay in consumption mode or… It’s fun, trust me, I get it. I love it.
Buying all the courses, all the things. But we do have to balance that with actually getting our unique voice and value out into the online space, out into the marketplace. And so when I’m thinking about making changes in my business, it now looks like intentional conversations with myself. And I love to use two question filters, what are my reasons and do I like them? And…
Jessmyn:
Oh, I love that.
Christal:
Yes. And that helps me, that challenges that default person, the default in me that just wants to be like, “Yes, let’s sign up.” So at least I have a moment where I’m taking a break and I’m putting my decisions through that, those question filters. So that way I’m a little bit more clear on why it is that I’m doing this. And that kind of, that challenges that easy sell within me.
Jessmyn:
I love that. Don’t worry, I’m also an easy sell. I hate it.
Christal:
I know. I was like, “Yeah, in some ways that may not be the best thing.”
Jessmyn:
For me, it’s mostly material things.
Christal:
Okay.
Jessmyn:
I can walk into a store and I will come out buying all of it.
Christal:
Yeah.
Jessmyn:
No one target me after hearing that, okay? But and when you have to think about your actual business, it has to still run.
Christal:
Yeah.
Jessmyn:
You still have to make money. Yes, you have to spend some money.
Christal:
Right.
Jessmyn:
In order to put processes and stuff in place. But yeah, I can see how that’s super hard if you see, and especially online, there’s…
Christal:
Ye.
Jessmyn:
“Get this course and you’ll do this” or, “Take my…”
Christal:
Yep.
Jessmyn:
“My challenge and you’ll increase your sales by X percent.”
Christal:
Yes.
Jessmyn:
And it’s everywhere.
Christal:
Yes.
Jessmyn:
So I guess, what I’m wondering from that is you did say you do the two question filter. But say you’re really looking at stuff and you’re like, “Okay, I want this one, I want this one,” how do you assess whether it actually will help increase your growth for your business?
Christal:
This question is perfect because I recently made a decision to join a mastermind, right? And after I did it, because I’d been having these conversations with myself about challenging that default version of me that can do things like being an easy sell, that type of thing. And so for the first time ever really, because I get so excited when I’m signing up for things. And I do the work, so that makes me happy. But I, for the first time ever, I had buyer’s remorse.
Jessmyn:
Wow.
Christal:
After joining this mastermind. And so to answer your question, what I did was just come from a place of compassion and remind myself that this kind of behavior in me that has both also helped me get to where I am and I also am wanting to challenge it a little bit and make sure that I’m just really clear on why I’m doing it from now on.
So what I’m telling myself is that this will be the last default purchase that I ever make, and I am going to work the crap out of this program, right? And really make the most of it and really show up like I never have before because although I truly believe it’s going to be an amazing program, I didn’t really run myself through those question filters before doing it. And so I love that you’re even asking this because the timing is perfect. This literally happened a week ago.
Jessmyn:
Oh, wow.
Christal:
Yeah.
Jessmyn:
Wow.
Christal:
Yeah.
Jessmyn:
Yeah. I am a hundred percent on the same boat with you as that I… And you know what’s the worst about it? Is I tell myself if I pay for it, I might be more incentivized to advise to actually follow through because I’ll be thinking about like, “Well, I bought it.”
Christal:
Yes.
Jessmyn:
But it never works out that way for me, so. You don’t know how many times I’ve done that and it did not work out that way, but.
Christal:
Yes. No, I hear you. And be reminded too, that that is, I think it’s helpful to have compassion with ourselves because it’s so easy for us to beat ourselves up. Right?
Jessmyn:
Right.
Christal:
Like, “Oh, I bought that and I didn’t finish it. Oh, I bought that and I really didn’t give my all to that,” or what have you. And so in the process of maybe deciding to do things differently, have compassion with that version of yourself and just know that you probably have been operating that way, right? Maybe for a while.
And so it takes some time to change those habits. And so I think that that’s always a really important reminder to make change from a place of curiosity and compassion with yourself instead of judging yourself, beating yourself up about why I did that and oh, now I have debt, or whatever that is. Yeah.
Jessmyn:
That was so well said. I agree. I love that.
Christal:
Yeah.
Jessmyn:
Something that just came to mind as we were talking was, so you work on life and relationship coaching and you also have an element in real estate. How do you make the switch depending on the day? Because you’re your own boss, you can make your hours.
But I guess, I love asking this because I’m the type of person where I need to make the effort to make the switch, if that makes sense. I have to put energy into that. But I know people who are just like, “Yeah, I do this for this hour and then the next hour I can do that.”
My coach had suggested one time, if you’re waiting for someone on a call to work on a project, and I was like, “There’s no way.” I can’t make that switch. But I’m curious, having the two businesses, how do you make that switch on a daily basis?
Christal:
Well, you know what? I love to think of it as that it’s all really together. For example, the business coaching that I was doing in real estate, I pretty much transitioned that business to the point where I have the courses that are still available on Evergreen because it’s a niche within real estate that a lot of people look for help in. And there’s not a lot of information, tools on how to do that kind of work. And so I keep that available, but I actually no longer coach in regards to…
Jessmyn:
One-on-one?
Christal:
The business. Yeah. So the coaching that I do now is life and relationships. And that was intentional because it’s almost trying to think about, like you’re saying here, almost trying to think about, even though it’s the same niche, serving two sides. Right? To that niche. And not that I couldn’t because I loved it all, but I just felt that this was what I wanted to focus on for simplicity sake. Right?
As a business owner, keeping things simple is so important to me now especially. It wasn’t always, but now it definitely is. So yeah, that’s how I run the business now. I just focus on the life and relationship coaching. And the anything regarding the courses is basically just managing any questions that may come in about maybe someone who purchased the course or something like that. So it’s very backend, that part of those courses.
Jessmyn:
No, thank you for sharing that. Because I’ve seen other people have multiple businesses, but on sort of the face of it online, you, it seems like, “Oh, I’m doing it all.”
Christal:
Yeah.
Jessmyn:
And my number one question all the time is, how does anyone have the time in the day?
Christal:
Yeah.
Jessmyn:
I mean, and it’s also about what you prioritize. But I’m always curious how people do two. And I’m sure there are people who coach both of their businesses.
Christal:
Yeah.
Jessmyn:
Or however many they have. But I just love kind of seeing how to work the two. And yeah, thank you for sharing that. And…
Christal:
Of course. Yeah.
Jessmyn:
And being transparent about it.
Christal:
Oh yeah. Yeah. I, definitely. If I feel too boxed in, I rebel within myself. Right? It’s so interesting and so…
Jessmyn:
I know exactly what you’re saying.
Christal:
Do you hear what I’m saying? Yeah.
Jessmyn:
Yes.
Christal:
And so I have to keep things simple. Especially as the mom of a young family. So I have a toddler, and…
Jessmyn:
Yeah.
Christal:
He’s the love of my life and he takes a lot of energy. And so I like to think about all of that, that the business is a part of my life. It’s a spoke in the wheel, right? It’s not the entire thing. And so I like to keep all of that in mind.
And I knew that if I tried to really kind of split my focus and keep coaching on both, that I could do it, but it would just, again, going back to the question filters, why? Why do I think I would need to do that and do I like my reasons? And I just decided to focus on the relationships.
Jessmyn:
I love that.
Christal:
Yeah.
Jessmyn:
I love that. Yeah, I think it’s really big to sort, I think my main takeaway right now is that two question filter that you have for yourself. Because I think something, I mean, something that I don’t do enough is checking in every once in a while.
Christal:
Yeah.
Jessmyn:
And seeing, okay, what purpose is this serving is sort of a sense? And how is this going to improve or…
Christal:
Yes.
Jessmyn:
Positively affect the rest of my day or the rest of my month or the rest of this project, et cetera?
Christal:
Yes. Yeah, it really is helpful. And for those listeners who can relate to maybe operating from a place of default, I think that can be a great first step. Right? Just take a deep breath and ask those two questions. And you can apply this to anything.
Maybe you’re a people pleaser and you get a text from someone who’s always asking you to do something and you end up usually saying yes when that really is your no. Take a deep breath before you reply to that text. And why am I doing this? What are my reasons if I were to say yes? What are my reasons if I were to say no? What are my reasons?
Do I like them? And even having those two questions to check in with yourself, it reduces the mind chatter, the brain chatter on the other end of making that decision. Right? Like, “Oh, did I do the right thing?” Or, “Oh, I shouldn’t have done that.” Not to say that it goes away, but it does reduce it when you’ve spent some time on the front end with yourself and just trying to asking why and just being truthful with yourself.
Jessmyn:
Right. I love that.
Christal:
Yeah.
Jessmyn:
I love that. Well, Christal, thank you so much for sharing your story and your journey with us. And after six attempts, still getting on a call with me.
Christal:
I have had the best conversation. Think you’re a great host and thank you.
Jessmyn:
Oh, thank you.
Christal:
You’re a great interviewer. So really, really polished questions. I love this chat. Thank you.
Jessmyn:
Oh, thank you. Not to toot my own horn, but I did not write any of these down, so.
Christal:
That’s right. We talked. She did not.
Jessmyn:
Yeah. But I do like to close out with two last questions I ask everybody, but if you’re up for it, I’m ready.
Christal:
Lets do it.
Jessmyn:
Okay. So second to last question, what are three things most people would not know about you?
Christal:
So the first would be that on my bucket list is to drive an 18 wheeler. I think that’s something…
Jessmyn:
Cool.
Christal:
That most people would not know about me. I got a ticket for having my music up too loud when I was 21.
Jessmyn:
Oh, wow.
Christal:
Most people definitely, especially if you see me in person, they’re like, “That doesn’t go together.” And then the…
Jessmyn:
That’s so funny.
Christal:
Third probably is, I love watching the Golden Girl. The Golden Girls show, the reruns of the Golden Girls.
Jessmyn:
Wow.
Christal:
Love that show. I grew up on it. I was raised with my grandparents and so loved that show.
Jessmyn:
I feel like I’ve definitely seen it on TV, but I was so young when we all still had cable at the time.
Christal:
Yeah.
Jessmyn:
Unheard of now. But yeah. Oh my gosh. I feel like now it’s just become more of means for me, which I…
Christal:
Yes.
Jessmyn:
It’s weird how just sort of pop culture does that.
Christal:
Yes.
Jessmyn:
And depending on your generation, for some people, it’s, “No, this is a show that I grew up with, I watch.” And for me it’s, “Ah, I’ve seen it online.”
Christal:
Yeah.
Jessmyn:
“A lot more than I’ve probably seen it on TV.” So crazy.
Christal:
I know. That’s so amazing. It is. It is.
Jessmyn:
So crazy. Okay, my last question for you, which I feel like you’re going to have a great answer for based off of our episode, but what is a single piece of advice that you would give to yourself at the start of it all?
Christal:
It would definitely be, everything will happen in the right time and value and nurture relationships. Right? I think that’s probably the two biggest things I would remind myself of, don’t be in a rush and allow things to happen. Or when things happen, always find the lesson in it, even if it didn’t go your way. And then relationships are so important.
Jessmyn:
I love that.
Christal:
Yeah.
Jessmyn:
I love that. And before I forget, please tell everyone where they can find you online.
Christal:
Thank you. You can find me on my website ChristalAllen.com. That’s ChristalAllen.com. And then in regards to social media, Instagram at Life Coach Christal, or you can also find me on LinkedIn at Christal Allen Harrahill.
Jessmyn:
Perfect. And we will link that for you guys in the show notes. So definitely check Christal out. And once again, thank you so much for listening and we will see you next time. Bye.
Christal:
Bye.