WHO IS THE ROMANTIC?
The Romantic is most likely to spend her Saturday nights watching romcoms, pinning wedding dresses, and stalking her current crush on all social media channels. She’s probably still reminiscing about her boyfriend from six years ago and brings him up on a fairly regular basis. The Romantic wants the storybook romance that her mom and dad shared, that she saw in the movies and read about in the books, and she’ll stop at nothing to get it.
To put it simply, the Romantic is the girl who loves LOVE!
She loves to talk about boys. She wants on all the deets on her friend’s latest crush and will ask a stranger about their dating history within the first five minutes of meeting. Most likely, she has been in quite a few relationships herself and falls for guys fairly easily. She’s typically far more caught up in the love story than the actual relationship itself. The reality of the Romantic’s heart is that her constant need for affirmation from guys often keeps her from stepping into the fullness of God’s plan for her. She wants to create a love story for herself, so she struggles giving up the control. When she looks at the love stories around her, she often doubts God’s plan for her own.
WHO IS THE INDEPENDENT?
The Independent is the girl who is too busy to date. She has chosen to devote her precious time toward anything except a potential relationship, focusing firsthand on her passions. She has big dreams and doesn’t let anybody stand in her way of accomplishing them. She’s the class president, was voted “Most Likely to Succeed”, earned Valedictorian, and was chosen as captain of her sports team—she’s anything but a girlfriend. Her mom has probably admitted to losing sleep over her daughter’s lack of dating experience and worries she will never truly open up to anyone.
To put it simply, the Independent feels more comfortable pursuing her dreams than pursuing a relationship.
She takes pride in the fact that she doesn’t need a guy to make her happy. But don’t let her exterior coolness fool you; deep down, the Independent desires to be loved. However, she fears that it might mean opening herself up to potential rejection. She tends to build walls instead of investing in relationships because it’s difficult for her to let someone in to see the truth of who she is—flaws and all. Even in her walk with the Lord, she’s used to self-sufficiency, but relying on her own ability makes it difficult to feel close to Him. Intimacy and vulnerability are just as intimidating in her relationship with Jesus as they are in a relationship with the potential for love—or heartbreak.
WHO IS THE FLIRT?
The Flirt probably had her first kiss in the second grade on the playground and has been chasing boys ever since. If you were to look at her phone, you’d probably see messages from at least three of the six guys she is currently leading on. Two of them have already confessed their unrequited love for her and that was precisely the moment she started ghosting them. The Flirt is the life of the party, full of personality, and isn’t afraid to lay all her cards on the table. She lives for the thrill of the chase and is the number one player of the game.
To put it simply, the Flirt loves attention without commitment.
She feels most valued when she is getting attention from guys and has placed a large part of her identity in the way that she looks. The Flirt is so accustomed to receiving attention that the thrill of one person’s love doesn’t seem to be enough. This mentality has built unreachable expectations which keep her from ever experiencing real love. This never-ending chase has distracted her from finding true contentment in the Lord. Instead of relying on God to feel valued, she’s relied on everyone else, which predictably always leaves her feeling empty.
WHO IS THE COMMITTED?
The Committed has always had a deep desire to be a wife and a mom to four cute kids. She probably is an avid fan of HGTV and loves dreaming of her early thirties when she’s finally settled in that dream house she’s always imagined. She’s already known as the “mom” type in most of her friends’ lives, and the majority of her time is spent caring for others. She might be dating her high school sweetheart, or maybe the guy she met during freshman orientation. Either way, she’s already imagining a lifelong future with somebody whom she can love, honor, and serve well.
To put it simply, the Committed loves the security and comfort of a relationship.
She feels most herself when she’s beside somebody else. She doesn’t mind sharing the spotlight, so much so that sometimes she lets go of her own dreams for the sake of a relationship. The Committed often conforms to someone else's lifestyle without acknowledging her own ambitions or desires. Her relationship can sometimes become the idol in her life, and take the place of God’s love and plan for her. She tends to place more focus on the pursuit of her future relationship, rather than a future designed to honor God.
WHO IS THE RESCUER?
The Rescuer is the girl who falls for the bad boy every single time. Not once has a guy she’s brought home received the stamp of approval from her dad. Her dream guy is emotional, brooding, mysterious, and either rides motorcycles, is in a band, or writes poems in his spare time. She sees the potential in almost anyone, but is especially drawn to guys with good looks, attractive personalities, and a little damage on the inside. With her help, any bad boy can grow a heart of gold.
To put it simply, the Rescuer chooses relationships that make her feel needed.
She wants to be the exception to the rule, the girl who finally gets the guy on the right path. The Rescuer is typically the girl who would date a non-believer hoping that she can be a part of his transformational story. She falls in love with the potential in people rather than the reality of who they are. Because of this pattern, she finds herself constantly defending her relationships to her friends and family, and isolating herself from the people who love her most. Not only does she isolate herself from community, but also she begins to hold God at arm’s length. She fears Him convicting her about her relationship and would rather keep it under her control than surrender to the Lord.
WHO IS THE CAUTIOUS?
The Cautious is your quintessential good girl. She didn’t go to parties in high school, she was active in her youth group, and probably didn’t have her first kiss until college (or quite possibly, she’s still waiting.) She is a total girly girl and loses her cool around any form of the male species. She’s sweet, kind, and you don’t have to worry about her stealing your man. Of course the Cautious will end up with Mr. Amazing, it just might take her a little longer to get there.
To put it simply, the Cautious is scared of romantic relationships.
She has let her fear get the best of her. She probably didn’t date in high school, didn’t date in college, and now her history of inexperience has convinced her she that may never find anyone at all. She’s timid around guys because believes the lie that guys must not like her. She hides herself, her best qualities, and her entire personality to avoid being rejected or embarrassed. When everyone else is talking about their relationships, she clams up and hopes that nobody notices that she has nothing to add. Exposing her inexperience is one of her most dreaded moments. The Cautious has a really intimate relationship with Jesus but also avoids sharing her true desire for a relationship. She fears God doesn’t have that in His plans for her and doesn’t want that to get in the way of her trust in Him.