What 1967 Carleton Slang are You?
From:Loosely Speaking: The Centennial Lexicon of Carleton Neologisms
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Quiz Questions
1.
Do you play a varsity sport?
A.
Yes
B.
No
2.
Where did you live your freshmen year?
A.
Goodhue
B.
Musser
C.
Cassat
D.
Other
3.
Oh no! Stevie P. slipped on a patch of ice!
A.
Help him up
B.
Ignore him
C.
Feign helping him up before running your hand over your hair
D.
Take photo and meme it
E.
Shout "EAGLE DOWN, I REPEAT, EAGLE IS DOWN" until security comes
4.
Favorite campus animal?
A.
Lyman
B.
Squirrels
C.
SWA Dogs
D.
I'm cuter than any animal
E.
Geese
5.
What is your status at Carleton?
A.
Underclassman
B.
Upperclassman
C.
What's a Carleton?
6.
A piece of your cookie falls on the table. You...
A.
Eat it. 5 second rule
B.
Give to an unwitting friend
C.
Throw it away
D.
*Compost* it
7.
Campus Job?
A.
Dining Hall
B.
Peer Leader
C.
Grounds/Arb/Custodial
D.
Other
E.
N/A
8.
What's your Major?
A.
Humanities
B.
Natural Science
C.
Social Science
D.
Get back to me Spring Term Sophomore year
9.
I came to Carleton to _____.
A.
Read
B.
Lead
C.
Breed
D.
Knead
10.
Which line written by Franz Kafka resonates with you most?
A.
"There is an infinite amount of hope in the universe... but not for us"
B.
"A book must be the axe for the frozen sea within us"
C.
"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect."
D.
"You are free, and that is why you are lost."
E.
"I have the true feeling of myself only when I am unbearably unhappy"
11.
Favorite study spot?
A.
1st/2nd Libe
B.
3rd/4th Libe
C.
My Dorm
D.
Weitz
E.
Somewhere Downtown
12.
Security is most likely to catch you ____.
A.
Sneaking into a construction zone
B.
Having sex on the watertower
C.
Smoking in the Japanese Garden
D.
Skipping convo
13.
Pick a Schiller
A.
Butter Schiller
B.
Paper Mache Schiller
C.
Human Flesh Schiller
D.
Helicopter Schiller
E.
Colbert Schiller
F.
Desperate Housewives Schiller
14.
Drugs?
A.
Yes please!
B.
Miss me with that wacko tobacco
C.
I have a prescription, if that's what you mean?
D.
I usually stick to something safer, like binge drinking hard alcohol.
15.
A close friend confides in you and reveals a tragic personal event. How do you console them?
A.
"I'm so sorry... that sucks. Let me know if I can do anything to help.
B.
"Here what you should do: [unhelpful advice]"
C.
"Oof. Big sad."
D.
One-up them with an even more tragic personal struggle of your own
E.
Miss me with that negative energy, GVO 2k19
16.
Spring Term,
A.
No Rules
B.
Fewer Rules
C.
Ostensibly, about the same amount of rules
D.
Significantly more rules
E.
CUT Rules
Quiz Outcomes
1.
You're hot-dog!
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Tell your fellows to appreciate you more
2.
You're bitch-on-wheels!
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Self-explanatory.
3.
You're Clarence Skaar!
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4.
You're "Good grief it's Daddy!"
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Uh-oh.
5.
You're Filthy McNasty!
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It's a lifestyle.
6.
You're tender tits of beef!
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7.
You're show and tell pants!
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Ooh la la
8.
You're hum!
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Very versitile!
9.
You're mung-pie!
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Yikes
10.
You're bopper!
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11.
You're "let's lock loins"!
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Loin locker alert.
12.
You're 288!
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Don't have to be a Math Major to figure this one out.
13.
"You're either a knave or a fool"
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We're still not sure which one you are.
14.
You're "Golly gee, Buffalo Bob"!
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Wowzers you sure are top notch!
15.
You're Administration fink!
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Stevie P. has you in his pocket.
16.
You're worthless piece of shit!
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We hate to be the ones to break the news to you...
17.
You're wonder-meat!
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We're not quite sure what you are...
18.
You're sell-out!
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So, You're Going Into Consulting...
19.
You're jock set!
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D3 > D1
20.
You're zap!
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Start zapping your friends, seriously.
21.
You're the outside world!
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Bubble popper...
22.
You're prospective!
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So innocent...
23.
You're nihil persperati!
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Wow, you must be super chill, or trying to convince yourself that you are.
