Don’t take this the wrong way, you’re just a bit of a mess all the time. Whether it’s your social life, your diet, or your career, something is always at least a little off kilter. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing! Plenty of emerging adults take all their mess and just swipe it under the bed and pretend. At least you’re self-aware! Your biggest issue is organization. If you could just get organized (and stay that way for more than 30 seconds), you might be able to feel more like an adult and actually move forward with your life. But as it is, you’re stuck scrambling to catch up all the time and it makes you feel like you’re still a scatterbrained teen.
Some words of comfort: Everyone is a lot more like you than they let on. You’re just being honest and authentic, and while that may not feel great when it’s not a choice, you’re giving others the courage to be honest and authentic too.
Words of wisdom: Don’t hide your mess, just work on organizing it! Don’t try to not be you anymore, try to become the best version of yourself. That might mean a little less spontaneity and a little more planning, but that doesn’t mean you have to become a boring fuddy-duddy. You just need to make sure you can live your life without exploding from stress.
You have found a way to be relatively fulfilled by your life and your own existence, but that doesn’t mean you’re perfect (sorry). Even though you typically handle things with the emotional adjustment of a Buddhist monk, you can still be your own worst enemy when it comes to other people. You handle stress like a champ, but you sometimes forget that other people…don’t. You can ask too much of people, or fail to take their emotions into account, or when you do, you might come off as condescending, like they simply haven’t achieved your zen mindset yet, and are less than you because of it. The hardest part of emerging adulthood for you is probably your interpersonal interactions.
Some words of comfort: Despite these challenges, you have a huge advantage in your corner: your inner comfort. You know yourself, you’re confident in yourself (usually), and you know how to keep yourself sane when things go wrong. This is the first step to dealing with problems successfully, so good on you!
Words of wisdom: When people talk about their problems, ask them how they feel, how they’re coping, what else in their life might be making it harder to deal with whatever is going on. Don’t offer advice, not unless they ask. This is all about getting to know people and their emotional motivations and being sensitive to that rather than trying to “fix” people to be more like you.
You have embraced emerging adulthood with the aggression of a kid insisting to a babysitter that their parents always read them 10 books and sing them a lullaby and give them ice cream before bed. This is your life, and you’re here to live it the way you want to, dammit. You often go out of your way to do things you weren’t allowed to do in the past, even if you don’t actually enjoy them much, just because it makes you feel more grown up to do whatever the hell you want. The trouble with this is, your personal growth may be too chaotic to actually get you anywhere.
Some words of comfort: Rest assured, this is not a “phase.” Thinking that it is will probably only make you rebel in more extreme ways that may be less fun, so let’s get that straight. Rebelling against your past restraints is a natural and important reaction that can hugely improve your life. When you go out of your way to do everything you never used to do, you collect experiences that make you a fuller, more interesting person.
Words of wisdom: Make sure your rebellious exploration isn’t getting in the way of what you really want. Sometimes rebelling opens your eyes to new possibilities, and that’s so important, especially if you grew up a bit sheltered. But sometimes rebelling can sweep you away from your real goals and set you behind.
You care so much, and it is your greatest strength, no matter what anyone else might say (or insinuate through passive-aggressive comments). It can make emerging into adulthood hard though, because as we age, we’re expected to care less and less. You have a heart big enough to care for everything, so don’t feel like you have to stop caring just because you’re “supposed” to, but remember that you’re just a person, and you can’t do everything at once. This intense caring can burn you out very quickly, and it might make you easy to take advantage of. The hardest part of adulthood for you is the pressure of expectations that just aren’t right for you.
Some words of comfort: Your emotions do not make you childish, they do not make you less-than. In fact, a lot of adults could use an emotional intelligence lesson from you. You aren’t lacking in any kind of “emotional self-control” or whatever, others are lacking in emotional self-awareness. You have something other people don’t, not the other way around.
Words of wisdom: Explore your mind and your heart and make a plan for how to deal with your emotions in situations where you don’t feel comfortable being completely yourself. If you know your boss yelling at you might make you cry and you don’t want to look unprofessional, you can tell them when you get hired “Hey, I work really well when I’m given time to process criticism before discussing it; could you send me feedback via email and we can set up a meeting to discuss it the next day?”