Where you are at: Most of the time you are in disbelief of your partners behaviour and the choices they make. Most of the time you don't get what makes them tick and you find that this sometimes makes you withdraw a little. Deep down you actually do care and this makes it really difficult.
Your next steps: What you observe about your partner's poor choices and uncaring behaviours may be accurate but it is not the deepest truth. The great thing is, you have an opportunity to go deeper with your awareness and see through (but not ignore) the issues, dramas and behaviours of your partner to understand who they truly are. Allow yourself to feel the deeper qualities they have . . . even if it is buried under fossils and ancient ruins. As you start to get a sense of the deeper qualities and aspects of your partner, you can more easily address any issues that need to be addressed.
How this evolves you: On a more broader scale, this allows you to really appreciate many more people and understand what makes them tick. When you start to see through people's issues you don't don't take their actions so personally and you don't get so affected by their behaviours.
Challenge yourself: When you feel the urge to withdrawal from a relationship or completely wipe it, stay present and be open to feeling a deeper sense of who a person is. This is most likely not a new concept for you as most young kids very naturally see people for their essence first and then their baggage second. If you can find what you value about them you will be able to take the next step in relationship, whether that is to continue as partners or to move on as friends.
Where you are at: You kinda have this inner world outer world conflict going on. On one level you move through life without too much fuss but on a deeper level you feel the cost of not truly sharing yourself with people. It may seem easier to have the outer version of yourself playing bodyguard to your more inner thoughts and feelings . . . but essentially it stops you from developing more meaningful relationships.
Your next steps: Even though this slightly freaks you out. The key is to allow others to see past the outer face, quips, jokes, emotions or protection and into the depth of who you are and what you really feel.
How this evolves you: Not everyone will get you but by sharing more of your depth with others, all of your relationships will be enriched. You will find that the superficial relationships will fall away and more meaningful ones will be drawn to you.
Challenge yourself: Start to bring a fresh approach to life and do things a little different. Start with one person who you feel will be more receptive and share with them more of what you truly think and feel. Start small and build your confidence in sharing more depth with others.
Where you are at: You tend to make choices that come back to bite you on the butt. This is not because you are stupid, dumb or even unaware . . . it is because you override what you truly feel. This maybe because you don't like disappointing people or saying no or it might be because you get caught up in the potential of a relationship even though it never delivers. Life is too short to not be discerning, every decision is a decision that deserves your all.
Your next steps: The key is seeing and discerning what is true in every situation before making a decision. Don't get stuck in the picture or outcome of what you would wish the relationship to be. . . or even what it could possibly be. Being swept off your feet may feel exhilarating in the moment but it doesn't come with the deep holding and settling feeling of when something feels true from the depth of your being.
How this evolves you: By becoming more discerning your life has more flow in it and you don't end up in so many compromising situations. There is less drama and more space for enriching your life and supporting other people.
Challenge yourself: Start asking yourself what you truly feel about a situation / decision. Don't try to figure this out from your head, feel whether the situation resonates with you and offers a settling surrendering feeling or whether you feel hooked, dazzled, excited or screaming noooooo. You know these feelings you just have to listen to them more.
Where you are at: There is no doubt that you have access to greater wisdom, just accept it. You have much more insight and awareness to bring to your partner.
Your next steps: No more holding back expressing the full truth of what you see and feel. Sometimes people can get a little shocked when they first hear the truth but in the end most people really appreciate the support.There is an art to expressing and sharing truth with people and as you express the truth of what you feel more and more you start to settle into this being a normal part of life.
How this evolves you: When you truly care for people you know that it is your responsibility to bring all of your resources (wisdom) to another in order for them to take their next step in growth and evolution. Pandering to others, giving in or caring more about being liked than what will truly serve the situation are all in your past.
Challenge yourself: To understand that what you have to share is valuable. Insight and wisdom is available for you to share if you allow yourself the opportunity to feel the truth of any situation . . . don't get swayed by the emotion.
Where you are at: You are fully committed to your relationships and you like to put 100% in. You see clearly what needs to be done and you understand what could really support other people. The problem is that this can become a burden for you and can somewhat take the joy out of life.
Your next steps: As difficult as it can be, sometimes we need to take a step back and allow another the space to grow, develop and understand life in their own way. Stepping back is not a withdrawal or a lack of care, it is an opening up and taking the pressure off yourself and others. In fact you are actually bringing a deeper, wiser love. Maybe there are shortcuts you could offer your partner but if they are not ready for them it won't help and can in fact put them off taking the next step.
How this will evolve you: Giving space to another also allows you to focus your energy into your next steps in life. What will grow you as a person? As you step back and let others find their own way a bit more you will be able to focus on yourself a bit more. This naturally has a positive flow on affect to your partner and anyone else around you.
Challenge yourself: Take a step back and re-focus your commitment towards your own growth. Specifically, allow yourself to feel what lightens the load and brings you joy. Being joyful, naturally brings so much to those around you . . . and that is without even trying. You already have a sense of what your partners potential is and through this, you will naturally bring a very steadying and consolidating support for them . . . without imposing your timing on them.This allows your partner the grace to grow in a way that they feel is true . . . even if it is somewhat excruciating to watch.
Where you are at: What if I was to say that you are actually a role model? You have loads to offer everyone around you including your partner. So the first question is . . . are you aware of everything you have to offer others? Or are you slightly cringing at the thought of being a role model? If you are slightly cringing, it means that you are more comfortable making yourself small than stepping up to be a role model.
What is your next steps: You have heard of the saying "Dance like you have never danced before" Well in this instance you need to shine like you have never shined before. Shining means that you are not afraid to stand out or be seen for who you are. You are gorgeous, let it out. When you decide to shine and keep shining you bring an enormous amount of spark to your relationship and to your partner.
How will this evolve you: In many ways it is understandable that you may have struggled with letting your shine out. When you shine it can bring a lot of jealousy your way. However more than this, shining brings so much to others and an enormous amount of joy within yourself. Why sacrifice your mojo so others don't get jealous when really the whole world benefits from more mojo?
Challenge yourself: Each day ask yourself what is next? What do I feel, what do I know, what can I bring? There is so much enrichment that can come from stepping up and shining, what are you waiting for? If you need help with this, have a look at my Meditation Essentials Course.
Where you are at: The great thing about you in relationships is that you are all in!! In fact, you care so much that sometimes you get tied up in knots about it all. In reality, reacting, conflict and heated communication does not support you or your partner. In fact, when you react you water down your message as your partner doesn't get to hear the awareness or insight you have, they just feel your angst.
Your next Steps: It is important for you to see through the conflict, argument or tug-of-war to feel or understand the shared truth. Do you want to be right and win the argument or do you want to bring understanding, tenderness and a shared truth? The latter is definitely worth it, even if it means swallowing a few small amounts of pride that may come up.
How this evolves you: As you start to work through your reaction before you discuss it with someone you find that you are clearer with your communication and people are actually wanting to listen to what you say. Over time, people start to feel safe to open up with you more and you can have some really constructive conversations and outcomes. This has so many benefits including reducing the drama and your stress levels.
Challenge yourself: To more deeply understand what you feel and how to express what you feel. The only way to do this is to bring more tenderness to yourself and others . . . including your partner. There is so much you can bring to your relationship by being the first to put down the tug-of-war rope and feel what you truly feel (hint: no blame or judgement) and not what you are reacting to.
Where are you at: As much as you might be nice, caring or pleasant in the relationship, you are not fully satisfied. There is so much more for you to explore within your own relationship with yourself but you have been too busy caring for other people and what you think they need. Without a foundation of knowing who you truly are and what you truly feel the relationship will always feel a bit flat. The beauty of relationships is bringing your spark to one another and you are more than ready to do this.
Your next steps: The next step in your relationship is to understand what you truly feel. It is difficult to be in a relationship with someone else when you are not first truly in a relationship with yourself. There are many reasons that we don't allow space to connect more to who we are and what we feel. Often it is because we are avoiding feeling something that is uncomfortable. Even though feeling what we don't want to feel can be uncomfortable, it is only momentary discomfort as opposed to the longer lasting agony of living with less awareness of who you are and what you feel.
How this will evolve you: You will find that you will become stronger within yourself and people will start respecting you more. This not only feels great for you but it also means that others learn from your sensitivity, care and natural sweetness. When you start to understand more about what you are truly feeling, you will naturally raise the bar in how everyone around you cares for and treats one another. This is great for everyone.
Challenge yourself: Now is the time for action. You know the things in your life that reduce your connection and awareness . . . start to let these fall away. Instead, bite the bullet and allow yourself the space required for contemplation, pondering and a deepening connection with yourself. If you need support check out my Meditation Essentials course.