You’re Multilingual Mayor Pete Buttigieg. Can You Learn Your Torah Portion By Saturday?

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  It's Thursday night. What are you going to do? 

  • A.
    Memorize the first half of my Torah portion and starch my collars
  • B.
    Learn Born in the USA on my new guitar for the next rally
  • C.
    Stay up all night and learn the whole Torah Portion. I am Superman. 
• 2.
  Now it's friday. What are your plans today?

  • A.
    Spend all day carefully filming socially aware TikTok videos
  • B.
    Memorizing a bit of Hebrew and learning to kickflip
  • C.
    I'm going to find Bill Maher and I'm going to kill him
  • D.
    I have to learn this by Saturday! Today is a study day. 
• 3.
  It's almost time! It's early Saturday morning, are you going to go over your torah portion?

  • A.
    Absolutely. I have to be as prepared as possible. 
  • B.
    Maybe a little, I'd like to have a balanced breakfast and practice my handshake.
  • C.
    I'll be fine. I learned Norwegian just to read one book. How hard could this be?
  • D.
    I'm the mayor of South Bend Indiana, dammit. Have you seen Rudy? I'm him but with the body of Jon Cryer from Two and a Half Men

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  You did it!

  You successfully pulled an all-nighter and memorized your entire Torah portion. This will make for an excellent anecdote when you are inevitably in an episode of Carpool Karaoke next week. Nice Job, Mayor Pete!
• 2.
  You memorized the first half and mumbled the rest!

  You were so close! Everything was going well until you drew a blank around the halfway point and began repeating "South Bend: the wagon city. South Bend, the wagon city. It might be small but it sure is pretty" to the tropes you clearly learned the best. Hopefully no one noticed.
• 3.
  You didn't know a single word!

  What happened, Mayor Pete? You were completely silent up there. You're never going to get your family to donate to your campaign in increments of $18 now. How will you fund your presidential run?