What Garbage TV Should You Binge Based on Your Quarantine Snacking Habits?

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  How did snack-buying go the first time around?

  • A.
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    Fine, I haven't had to go back to the store yet, though I am starting to get low.
  • B.
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    I wayyyyy underbought. I had to get more the next day.
  • C.
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    I overbought for sure, I'll be eating this stuff until July
  • D.
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    I feel like I bought way too much, but it disappeared in like a day, so...
• 2.
  What kind of snacks are you eating the most of right now?

  • A.
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    Does booze count as a snack?
  • B.
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    Chocolate
  • C.
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    Trying to stick to healthy options
  • D.
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    I'm eating literally everything
• 3.
  Do you tend to eat your snacks all at once, or are you more of a grazer?

  • A.
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    All at once!
  • B.
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    I graze
• 4.
  What is one snack you don't have right now and are seriously risking getting coronavirus to go get at the store?

  • A.
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    Sour candy
  • B.
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    Tequila
  • C.
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    Fresh fruit
  • D.
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    I really have all I need
• 5.
  What's one thing you bought that you know you're never going to eat?

  • A.
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    Carrots. I hate carrots, why did I do that?
  • B.
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    Beer. This is clearly a liquor situation.
  • C.
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    The ingredients for a complicated dessert I have no time or energy to make
  • D.
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    Greasy potato chips. I got them just in case, but they just aren't very good

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  America's Next Top Model

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  There is nothing more satisfying than eating your weight in Oreos while watching a show featuring the skinniest people you've ever seen. There's something about the absurdity of it, the absolute certainty with which you can say you have never been, and never will be, that skinny. So you just kick back, watch the cat fights, and binge eat all of the snacks you bought that were supposed to last you a full week.
• 2.
  Love is Blind

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  Your next garbage TV marathon NEEDS to be Love is Blind. Is it trash? Oh yes. Will it infuriate you? Absolutely. Will you love every second? You betcha. Graze on your snacks all day long, munching here and there as the full season plays out all its sordid drama, and enjoy!
• 3.
  Game of Thrones

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  Don't let the big budget fool you, this show is in fact garbage. It's basically a soap opera with swords. Admittedly, that automatically makes it better than a lot of soap operas, but still. Enjoy sipping (or chugging) your alcoholic "snacks" as you numb your mind with fire and ice.
• 4.
  Grey's Anatomy

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  You're being so responsible with your snacks, you need an outlet for all the urges that you're bottling up. That's why you should start binging Grey's Anatomy, a show where no one resists any of their urges ever. Live vicariously through these maniacs, and keep up your responsible social distancing.