The Spontaneous Relationship
The Spontaneous Relationship
This was me in my 20's so I totally relate to this relationship with money!
Firstly, there is no right or wrong way to behave with money.
Behind every financial situation is a set of beliefs, emotions and thoughts, many of which you may not even be aware of.
Psychologists have concluded that over 90% of the decisions we make come from our subconscious mind. It is this that drives how you think, feel and behave with money.
Your beliefs about money are shaped by messages you heard growing up around money, (or didn't hear about money) and can also be shaped by beliefs that have been passed down the generations that may not even be true!
The spontaneous relationship with money is very focused on enjoying the moment. You tend to make decisions quickly, impulsively and often driven by emotions. On many occasions, you may be seeking internal happiness by seeking external validation. Impulsive purchases can bring you instant gratification and relief.
You love to make a good impression! When you walk into a room, you like to dazzle! You’re always seeking the next career change, the next pay rise, the next opportunity to impress your friends. Your vision board may include nice cars, a bigger house, and VIP holidays.
Not always but often your relationship with money may be driven with a desire to seek others approval or friendship.
In your business and career, this is a super useful habit - you're the kind of person everyone knows will make a decision and get it done. You take risks that often pay off, and when they don't you put it all down to a learning experience and move on to the next thing.
Money is not really a priority. You know that you need to get a handle on it, but your instinct tells you that everything will just work itself out. You're much more in your comfort zone when you're making quick fire spontaneous decisions than trying to make longer term 'planning' decisions.
With your personal finances, however, you know this is having a real impact on your future (and sometimes present) security.
Living for the here and now and enjoying the moment is great, but you also want to know that you'll be comfortable and this is often the after effect of being spontaneous is that you worry about having 'enough' money for your future. This may leave you feeling guilty and shameful of decisions that you may have made in the past.
You may be a course junkie and be drawn towards the new shiny object, causing you to overspend and potentially go into debt.3 Tips to balance out your spontaneous relationship with money
Tip 1: Take time to establish an emotional connection to your money. Use a vision board to create purpose and meaning behind money for the future. Relabel your savings pots with a new title such as, 'Anna's Financial Stability Fund."
Tip 2: Give every pound a purpose - Take some time to look at your spending habits and imagine that every £ needs a job. Allocate each £ to a purpose (i.e £1000 to bills, £500 to Food, £75 to treats, £75 to your future freedom fund). Consider storing your money out of sight so that it is not so easy to access and automate your savings so that they happen without you having to think about it.
Tip 3: Implement the 48 hour cooling off period to your purchases. Pause. Ask yourself do I really NEED this? Is it just going to bring about temporary happiness? Leave it in your shopping basket for 48 hours before checking it out which will give your brain the feel good feelings of adding it to the basket but not actually check it out to give your rational side of the brain the chance to consider the purchase.
Bonus Tip to journal around: Bring some curiosity to the emotion you feel when you make spontaneous purchases. If you can identify the trigger (were you angry, stressed, bored) it can help you to bring conscious awareness, to then make better financial decisions or to do something different next time. How else could you create a feeling of happiness and purpose and fulfilment that does not involve money? In order to create a feeling of fulfilment/purpose/happiness, I could....(fill in the blank).
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Money is 80% emotional and 20% practical. Catherine Morgan is on a mission to change the financial services industry from one of complicated financial products to one that helps educate in simple language with no financial jargon (and no suits!).
She is a firm believer that "more women need to take back financial control and be financially resilient." Get confident with money, take control of your personal finances, change your money habits & make better financial decisions.
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