I am excited and at the same time, nervous about how my colleagues will react.
B.
I immediately say yes, even though I really don't have the time, capacity or desire.
C.
I take time getting to know my team so that they will like me.
D.
I check what other people have said about the project, obsessing over any comments about someone else's work.
E.
If I'm certain I can handle the project and team, I take it.
F.
I say, "Of course! Anytime. I am totally ready."
2.
When you hear someone criticize you or your work, you...
A.
Get angry and storm through the halls biting off the head of anyone in your path.
B.
Shut down, end the meeting, go to your office and shut the door.
C.
Get upset and act like they didn't say anything.
D.
Spend time explaining why you are right and they are wrong.
E.
Act like you don't care.
F.
Accept it. Ask questions to understand it and adjust as necessary.
3.
When I have been promoted and am in a meeting with my new colleagues, I...
A.
I make sure they all know my door is open.
B.
I am not sure why I was chosen, and am sure someone else would have been better.
C.
I'm know my worth and am open to learning from others.
D.
I stay quiet and just listen at first. I want to get my bearings and learn as much as I can.
E.
I apologize excessively. if I feel I've said something wrong.
F.
I waver back and forth between feeling super-excited and completely terrified.
4.
When someone asks me to mentor them, I
A.
I am surprised that they would ask me.
B.
I say yes, but suggest that someone else might be a better fit.
C.
I overshare about what I do and why I do it, to "justify" being their mentor.
D.
I assume they are just being nice because they like me.
E.
I want to make sure they get everything they need, so I firehose them with information.
F.
I discuss their vision with my vision of mentoring to ensure it is time well spent for us both. We have different approaches in life and I want to help if I can.
5.
When it comes to asking for a raise, I
A.
I worry about what the company needs more than what I need.
B.
I believe that I am probably not doing enough to merit more and apologize for any inconvenience I've caused in asking.
C.
I am able to "sell" myself, but am in the habit of underselling. I don't want to appear like I am bragging.
D.
I feel it necessary to explaining why I deserve the raise, even if I wasn't asked.
E.
I am constantly comparing my work to others', and find myself caught up in it being "better than" or "less than" theirs.
F.
I just ask because I am worth it.
6.
After speaking or presenting, I
A.
I don't feel like it really wasn't that good. I could have been more confident and clear in my presentation.
B.
If I had to do it over again, I like to think I would have spoken more about what I wanted to say than what I thought others wanted to hear.
C.
My message got diluted by my need for perfection.
D.
I think I did fine, but I could have been more engaging in my delivery. People would have enjoyed it more.
E.
It went EXACTLY as I had imagined. Brilliantly.
F.
I know I did a decent job, but some of the other speakers were better/smoother/funnier/more engaging.
7.
If my best friend could write an affirmation on my behalf, it would be:
A.
Show up and shine.
B.
Love myself first.
C.
Vulnerability is a strength.
D.
Listen more and talk less.
E.
I am more than enough.
F.
She'd say: "You rock!"
8.
When a team member makes a mistake, you...?
A.
Get upset and reassign to someone else.
B.
Point out all of the mistakes and show them how to fix them.
C.
Tell them, "no worries" and go on. You don't really want to be bothered with anything.
D.
Get angry and call them names.
E.
Sit down with them to understand if they need help, or if it was a solitary event.
F.
Fix everything yourself.
9.
When it comes to sharing my work, I
A.
I over-share about my thought processes.
B.
I find myself caught up in thinking my work is "better than" or "less than" someone else.
C.
I share it willingly and with confidence and pride.
D.
I am afraid that if I share how proud I am, it will appear like I am bragging.
E.
I take other people's feedback to heart, adjusting my work to suit their needs.
F.
I work until super late and get up early to make sure every detail is right.
10.
When your team has an approaching deadline that you aren't sure you will make...you,
A.
Close yourself in your office and finish it yourself.
B.
Get increasingly agitated and start barking orders at the team.
C.
Start blaming people around you for what hasn't gotten done.
D.
Start micromanaging every little detail.
E.
Go in, work with the team to see where things can be streamlined or bottlenecks cleared.
F.
Keep working on it, but don't worry about it. You can always apologize if necessary. It was a crazy deadline anyway.
11.
When conflict occurs between team members, you...
A.
Have a series of closed door meetings with each person involved, going back and forth between them, trying to mitigate the situation.
B.
Don't take the time, or really care to learn what is going on. You just want them to resolve it so that work can continue.
C.
Sit back and enjoy the show. Secretly, you have a favorite.
D.
Take sides. you have been known to gossip about your team with others.
E.
Stay out of it. It's not your business.
F.
You have provided you team with strong tools to resolve conflict. They will come to you if you are needed. You will step in if you have to.
12.
When I am asked for my opinion, I
A.
I am worried that someone won't agree with what I think.
B.
I am excited that I was asked, but am not sure why they asked me. Someone else is better informed or can make a better decision.
C.
I give it, thoughtfully.
D.
I talk about the pros and cons to everyone who will listen.
E.
I give it, but I apologize for any differences in opinion that I have from them.
F.
I research what others have done in similar situations.
13.
When someone makes a suggestion for how to do something, you...
A.
Get upset because their opinion was not requested.
B.
Take credit for it.
C.
Act like nothing was said and continue on.
D.
Let them "run with it", just don't come to me when it doesn't work.
E.
Criticize their idea and offer something better.
F.
Listen, ask questions and encourage them to expand on it.
14.
If you are honest, you know your team thinks this about you...
A.
You would throw them under the bus if it meant you looked better.
B.
You don't really care about them.
C.
You always have their back.
D.
You are bossy, demanding, unfair and rude.
E.
You either don't care about anything and they can never find you, OR you want to control every little detail.
F.
Your idea, thoughts, etc. are the only thing that matters. Everyone follows you lead.
15.
When you are frustrated about something at work, you...
A.
Figure out a different way to do it...whatever "it" is.
B.
Shut the door to your office. No one is allowed in.
C.
Just ignore the problem. Maybe it will go away.
D.
Take a deep breath, then tackle the issue head on.
E.
Take out your frustration on your team, but you aren't sure why.
F.
Schedule a series of closed door meetings and discuss every little detail to try to root out the problem.
16.
When I want to propose something, I
A.
I have to set a deadline because I can't stop finding little things that need tweaking before I propose it.
B.
I'm quick to jump into a conversation and share my ideas with my colleagues.
C.
I have trouble narrowing my focus because I want to make sure everyone will like it.
D.
I am excited but sure that no one will accept my proposal.
E.
I research similar projects, and quickly get overwhelmed by how much is already out there and believe is better than I could do.
F.
I put the plan together, then I propose it.
17.
You consider you team your...
A.
Employees
B.
Team members
C.
Family
18.
When I am asked to speak to a client about a project that I am working on, I
A.
I know I've got good information, but am worried about how I can relate.
B.
I put together an outline, envision the talk going well, then go for it.
C.
I look to see who has already spoken about this topic and feel like I'll never measure up.
D.
I take a million notes, write out the script and practice, practice, practice.
E.
I start talking to everyone to get an idea of what this part of the organization, or client is like then find myself in overwhelm.
F.
Ask myself: "Who am I to be talking to this person or organization?"
You feel unseen and unheard so then you decide you have to "fake it until you make it." You do that by "wearing" a persona of bravado and end up becoming domineering.
You are constantly comparing yourself against others, in looks, abilities, etc. When you finally get tired of comparing and being compared to, you adopt a "My Way or the Highway" attitude.
You constantly feel you have to "prove" your worth, at work, at home, even with your friends. When that gets old, you adopt a "I just don't care" attitude.
Life is good. You have found balance in your life, learning that embodied feminine leadership allows you to be all of who you are. You show up in life as authentically YOU!
