You respond highly to appreciation to feel valued and special in your relationship.Examples could be:1. Thank you so much for making a wonderful meal tonight2. I love how your voice is so gentleBe aware that if this is your primarylove language, then it still matters what is said as the praise should be individual for it to have maximum impact.Explain to your partner what praise you enjoy. The more specific the better.Also, let your partner know things that are vulnerable to you or you feel insecure about then the impact is likely to be much more significant.
Your love language is touch. You feel love and connection through touch.Be specific and tell you partner how you like touch and show them.Touch release oxytocin and is critical to connection.For some, it’s the main route to feeling connected and important, and for these people, it’s imperative to get the regular touch.Many men are so touch neglected because men most often only get touch through sex.Even this is usually limited to their genitals and less the rest of their body.For women, it’s culturally more acceptable to touch each other, and women often get more all body touch.So many men crave more touch but don’t feel they can ask for it.They often don’t even have the awareness to know that is what they need as it has been suppressed for so long.
We all like it when someone does something for us, but for people with this love language, it is even more critical.They feel loved and important and attach to you when they experience you do things for them.Again, making it individual is vital, so find out what they would like to have done for them.You could spend a lot of time and energy cleaning the car and picking up the kids,but if that’s not the acts of service that connect with your partner, then it might not have the desired impact.It could be making them their favorite meal when they are sick or planning a date with an activity they like or helping look after their ill mum.Ask them and then make it an integrated part of how to communicate your love for them or that you care.
Time is an investment, and so is our attention. So when we choose to spend time with someone and give them our full attention, it communicates that we value and care about them.For people where this is their love language, it will have an even more significant impact, so making time for them and giving them your uninterrupted attention is essential.All-time is not equal, hence why I call it quality time.If you are constantly checking your phone, take calls or keep splitting your attention between your partner and the TV, then they have your time but not your focus.They need both for it to be quality time.It can be doing an activity together, or it can be turning off all distractions and sharing some secrets. It could be sharing vulnerabilities or anything that matters to you, or even just sitting and looking into each other’s eyes.
Your initial reaction might be that it’s superficial to want gifts to feel loved, but it makes complete sense from an evolutionary perspective.Resources are critical to survival, so someone willing to share resources with you, must love you and care about you.It also shows investment when we give something to someone making them feel safe, as we tend only to do this to people, we value and care about.Being specific is important, so find out what gifts they value.