Which of your enemies do you hope to destroy most?
A.
Oh just any of them
B.
I like humans too much to want to kill them
C.
The raccoon clan has some nerve defecating in the bushes
D.
The city doesn't pay enough attention to the crops that keep it sustained
2.
Why don't you live off the land?
A.
Why *would* I when I can live in the city?
B.
Nature is cruel and offers no diversity
C.
because I live with humans???
D.
I'm already a garden gnome.
3.
Which season do you like best?
A.
I have no opinion.
B.
Winter is the best season
C.
I prefer the feeling of cooked meat in my stomach instead of raw flesh
D.
I have a fondness for plants popping out of the ground
4.
How do you feel about humans?
A.
Who? Who are those people?
B.
They smell like roast beef and they harass me daily
C.
They give me green stinky stuff in my bowl
D.
The city needs them. I don't exactly need the city
5.
What is your greatest wish?
A.
To train pigeons to supply myself with crumbs daily
B.
Why Santa is it already christmas in August?
C.
To be able to stroll the streets of the city as one of them.
D.
Life is perfect how is this a question
6.
What do you look forward to?
A.
Watching TV
B.
Watching birds, plants, and humans grow
C.
Watching clouds fall from the sky
D.
Watching the garbage run into the dumptruck
Quiz Outcomes
1.
Alien smog
Hey, you're an alien here on Earth. I bet you wish you had a few tentacles. I wish I had tentacles.
2.
Alien Megafauna
You're alien BUT FABULOUS. You love watching disgusting humans eat disgusting food and you're curious to understand why their large brains let them so readily imagine magic and superstition. You can't wait to see what other liminal beings are living in this planet somewhere far below the surface.
3.
GIANT DWARF PANDA
This mix of a clone human and a black bear is actually an interesting outcome of future-Earth bears that live in large city-trees and blend in with the pigeons. They enjoy a diet of fruit and chocolate, and are generally content.
4.
Platypus Gorgodon
You are a big, friendly omnivore, and easy to approach at a cocktail party. Strangely playful, your body is a deadly cross of snake and monitor lizard, with a beak to swallow the fish you flail at with your death-rolly tail.
