Whenever prioritizing the inner experience of others is a heart felt choice that truly makes you feel at peace and comfortable, it is a testimony of your sensitivity, care, and kindness!However, this can be a problem when it feels more like an automatic COMPULSION; and when you find yourself putting your inner experience aside when, actually, you would like to make your voice heard!What's stopping you? Perhaps you are finding the possibility of potential conflict or others’ disapproval just a bit too stressful, so you fall back into the safer alternative of “just smile and stay quiet….,” "don't rock the boat..."Moving forward...Firstly, give yourself a moment to take a couple of slow breaths and tap into a place of value and high self-worth. Even taking a moment to acknowledge your inner experience and think about what you would like to say and do is a great step to take! As you reaffirm to yourself that your unique perspective and inner wisdom add value to the world!The reason this is an important first step is that many of our "placating" responses are past related, knee jerk, emotional patterns, from a time when we didn't have as much personal power as we do now, as adults.They were our way of protecting ourselves from conflict, rejection, or stress... by handing our power over to someone else. At some point we learned that complying and appeasing is an effective strategy for keeping our environment calm and safe...Moving forward...Here are some suggestions that may support you to add the valuing of your uniquely brilliant and valuable inner voice, to your natural sensitivity and consideration of others:1. Strive to consider each situation in which you’re in with fresh eyes. Every situation is unique and calls for a fresh, unique choice around how to respond!2. Give yourself a moment to take a couple of slow breaths, grounding yourself in your body and being. 3. Take a moment to reaffirm to yourself that your unique perspective and inner wisdom add value to the world!4. Remind yourself that the most fulfilling, peaceful, relationships are ones that strive for equality of consideration!5. Reflect on the particular situation in which you're in, and considering your inner experience and that of another, visualize how you would like to see yourself respond.A Christian Reflection-The Case of Pontius Pilate.Pontius Pilate is a great example of someone (very intelligent!) who decided to ignore the voice of his inner wisdom in favor of placating a crowd.Yes, people pleasing can give us an illusion of being liked and accepted. However, it is only an illusion. What is being liked and approved is only our conforming to others’ expectations. By contrast, Jesus is the perfect role model for staying true to ones purpose and Father’s will, without being swayed by seeking external approval. Ultimately, it was Pilot who lost his personal power to the crowd, while Jesus proved triumphant and all powerful!For email inspiration to nurture your best self, subscribe to www.bozenazawisz.com
Do your thoughts include bouts of unwarranted self-criticism?
Your thoughts are not always facts! They can be ideas about the future, interpretations, or attitudes...Your thoughts can include empowering beliefs about yourself, and more critical, dis-empowering ones...; depending on what place within yourself you tap into...While none of us can help what initially pops into our thought bubble, we can learn from our inner experience and we can take control of the direction the conversation with ourselves takes...In fact, the more skilled we are at being aware of our thoughts, reflecting on them, and transforming them, the greater is our confidence and self-esteem!The case of the Pharisees.The Bible describes many instances where people responded in fault-finding, critical ways.Consider the Pharisees, many of whom interacted with Jesus in a spirit of fault-finding and put downs. Caught up in maintaining their dominant position and positive self-image, both of which were threatened by Jesus’ personal power and authenticity, they missed out on making a connection with God's Son and learning about God’s kingdom.Their closed mindedness prevented them from encountering God himself!However, rather than getting caught up in the cycle of blame and fault-finding, Jesus encourages us to, instead, nurture compassion; even recommending that we love our enemies!"Love yourself as your neighbour" is a perfect motto that encourages us to strive to maintain a balance between attending to our own and others’ inner experience. Jesus encourages us to re-set the compass of our focus on fulfilling our own spiritual purpose; on our endless journey of nurturing faith, hope, and love in our lives!For email inspiration to nurture your best self, subscribe to www.bozenazawisz.com
Emotions are not facts. The are TOOLS. Whenever we feel critical towards our more challenging emotions, we may miss out on receiving valuable insight about our patterns of thinking, beliefs, preferences/likes/values...Which of the below ways of coping do you identify with the most? Disregarding your inner experience at times of conflict by prioritizing someone else's Avoiding your inner experience by distracting your attention away from it Fostering a welcoming, accepting, curious, compassionate attitude towards your inner experience and what it reveals about your past learning and present values and goalsIn my upcoming, limited-time Masterclass, I am super excited to speak about how to make a shift from feeling held back from challenging emotions into greater confidence and inner-peace; drawing on my most effective counseling techniques. See you there shortly!Bozenawww.bozenazawisz.com
Based on the answers you've selected, it seems that across many situations you strive to respond in balanced way that considers your own inner experience, preferences, and expectations, as well as those of other people! Go personal power!Go healthy self-esteem!Go emotional intelligence! It seems that you possess the emotional maturity to not react to situations and interactions in a knee-jerk, survival driven, compulsive way; but you are able to calm yourself and reflect on ways of responding that communicate: "I love you and I love me,"and "Let's come together and work as a team, to come up with a solution that considers us both!"This points to healthy coping that keeps on nourishing your self-esteem!Keep up your awesome coping! Personal Power and Christianity - A Reflection."Christianity, I believe, is about expanded life, heightened consciousness, and achieving a new humanity. I rather experience God as a source of life willing me to live fully, the source of love calling me to love wastefully, and to borrow a phrase from the theologian, Paul Tillich, as the Ground of Being, calling me to be all that I can be."John Shelby Spong For email inspiration to nurture your best self, subscribe to www.bozenazawisz.com