6.
Avoiding. That is my go-to Protective Pattern.
Congratulations! You have identified your primary Protective Pattern as Avoiding.What does Avoiding look like?● Withdrawing from specific relationships● Retreating to yourself● Numbing–avoiding emotions● Addictive behavior (substance misuse, shopaholic, overeating,workaholic, TV zombie )When we identify our default patterns of dealing with stress—our Protective Patterns—we are better able to notice when and why we use them. Our Protective Patterns are a two-edged sword: they can be helpful in some situations but are harmful in others.These reactions can be vital for survival in unsafe situtations. They give us a certain level of “Reactive Resilience,” which allows us to react to danger quickly. However, while Protective Patterns can protect us from danger or overwhelming situations, they are harmful in other contexts. If we use them in situations that do not require them, they can work against our best interests. Over time, protecting ourselves can become a pattern that is self-defeating, preventing us from being centered, connecting, or collaborating with others. Questions to think about: When and how do I use Avoiding?When does Avoiding help me?When does Avoiding hurt me?Note that we all have developed a range of responses over time. These Protective Patterns illustrate the type of reactions that can help us in the right situations, but also harm us if used in ways that break down trust. Additionally, many of us have two or three Protective Patterns upon which we rely. For example, our "go-to" modes may be Distrusting/ Hyper-Caretaking or Attacking/Avoiding. As we recognize how and when we use our Protective Patterns we need to understand two aspects:1. In the appropriate contexts, our reactive Protective Patterns are very helpful. They protect us from threatening situations.2. In other contexts, our Protective Patterns harm us by preventing us from responding thoughtfully. They can be an obstacle to caring for ourselves or connecting and collaborating well with others.Learning to notice our Protective Patterns is the first step. The second step is assessing what effect they are having in each situation. The third step is learning to choose Resilience Skills that can help us. When we practice our Resilience Skills, we build our ability to make the best choice for ourselves in response to each situation. While we can still use our Protective Patterns in those situations that require them, if we can recognize healthier ways to deal with other situations and strengthen our Resilience Skills, we learn to grow and thrive through the difficult experiences of our lives.Learning how to use our Resilience Skills is a life-long process. We are Dovetail Learning. 👋 At Dovetail Learning, our mission is to help YOU strengthen your resilience! We have training, Resilience Circles, books, videos, and other products designed to help you! Bonus Resources to Help You Become More Resilient? Look No Further 👇1. Training opportunities Lots of opportunities to learn more about the We Are Resilient™ Approach..2. Resilience Circles. Spend time reflecting on your Protective Patterns and deepening your Resilience Skills. in a supportive environment. Free to join in 2021!3. Books, videos, and other products. Free digitial resources and physicial products for purchase. They are perfect for anyone who wants to learn science-based skills to strengthen their resilience! 4. Free Wellness NewslettersP.S. Expect to See Me in Your Inbox With a Free PDF Version of Your Results 🎉🙌🎁