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Your Block to Owning Your Story is... Fighter/Perfectionist
Your block to Owning Your Story is that you are seeing yourself as a Fighter/Perfectionist. You're stuck in a loop of putting your head down, pushing through your circumstances, working by yourself, and convincing yourself that it is just easier that way. You have a mentality of if you “just work harder, you can make it happen.” You judge others for not working as hard as you do, or because it seems that their life is so much easier. You get stuck in a comparison cycle regularly and can get annoyed when it feels like you are constantly meeting more and more challenges than others. You might find yourself constantly in a state of proving your worth to others when deep down you are in a state of proving your worth to yourself. This fighter personality likely helped you through many challenges in your life, and you possibly lived through trauma or stories that would blow others away. The fighter actually helped you to stay alive, she is the reason that you are where you are and for everything that you have accomplished in your life. People are forever praising you for being strong, for accomplishing so much, and for saying it’s easy for you because you are so strong. “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle” is something you’ve heard multiple times, so you assume this is your cross to bear. The downside of this mentality is it can be very lonely, isolating, and it only allows you to bring your perspective into your life and business. The fighter experiences frequent cycles of burnout, typically 1 -2 times per year, and never recognizes the signs of burnout before it is too late because you have more things to check off your to-do list. Self-care priorities and healthy boundaries are not part of the fighter's regular regiment because “there’s no time for it and they’d rather just do it themselves.” It also means rarely asking others for help and even if you did, you have to be open to allowing others into your space. That means you tend to block the support of others because you aren't allowing yourself to receive the support. Maybe it is stubbornness or worthiness, but you are trying to do life literally alone. This pattern also leads to blocking receiving abundance in your life and that is definitely a pattern we want to break. The fighter spends a lot of time trying to control the uncontrollable, yet very little time and energy controlling the things they can control, and that is the daily actions, reactions, thoughts, beliefs, self-care, and boundaries. In their mind they don’t want to be perceived as weak. These regular activities will put the fighter into a position of filling their cup first, actually changing their self-worth story and this allows them to bring more of themselves to the world. Awareness is where it all starts. Learning how to ask for what you need (even from yourself), and follow through with actions that fill your cup, respect your boundaries, and control what you can control, also allows you to understand the importance of receiving. This act is so huge since it is the first experience of understanding that you are deserving of receiving and then this will get easier to ask others for their support too. There is no need to be so hard on yourself. It is the time for awareness and breaking the patterns that aren't serving you. This is the time for self-care, self-love, boundaries, mindset shifts and recognizing that you do not have to do it all alone. By dropping the armour that you carried to protect yourself, you are now allowing others into your circle, your space and then you can receive the abundance of the right people, opportunities, and circumstances. The people that you are here to impact and the people who can impact your life are literally waiting for you to put down the armour to allow yourself to be seen. This will allow you to build the connections that are meant to be in your life. "To be the person whom we long to be -- we must again be vulnerable. We must take off the armour, show up and let ourselves be seen.” ~ Brene BrownThree quick tips to help you shift yourFighter Block1. Awareness and Ownership are both key...no chance occurs without awareness of the behaviour that you are ready to change.2. Do an inventory of the self-care needs that you are not fulfilling or prioritizing in your life. Be honest and real with the actions that are not serving you and identify what boundaries need to be put into place in order to consistently give and receive your needs. Once you do this it will get easier to see your worth and ask others for support and receive what they are offering. 3. Practice the actions of letting go, trusting, and believing that things will work out for you without the death grip hold on the things you can’t control. This is about the ownership of taking radical responsibility for the things that you can control and they support your higher self on this big mission she is working towards. Wait a minute – let me introduce myself...Hey there, I’m Marsha Vanwynsberghe 👋 I’m a Storytelling Business Coach, Speaker, Author, and Podcaster who specializes in helping women learn to build a platform business from their stories and monetize their passionsI am a 6-time Bestselling Author of “When She Stopped Asking Why”. I share my lessons as a parent who dealt with teen substance abuse that tore our family unit apart. In 2020, I also published a collaborative book called Owning Your Choices, sharing inspiring stories of courage from women around the world. Through my tools, NLP certifications, programs, coaching, and podcast, I teach the power of Radical Responsibility and Owning Your Choices in your own life. I am on a mission to empower women how to own their stories, be conscious leaders and build platform businesses to impact, serve and support othersWhatever your story is, I can help you learn to stand ON in as opposed to IN it! Friend, freedom from your story is around the corner. Extra resources to help you learn how to own your story, work through your blocks and step into your life’s purpose...1. Check out my podcast, Own Your Choices Own Your LifeI release 3 podcasts weekly with topics ranging from finding your ownership, radical responsibility, vulnerability, triggers, and sharing our stories. Whatever your blocks with your stories, I’ve got it covered.2. Follow me on Facebook and Instagram to stay up to date with my social media posts. And no worries if you’re a bit late to the game – you can jump in at any point for life-transforming tips and no BS talk!3. If you’re interested in one-on-one coaching, fill in this form, and I’ll be in contact ASAP. My sessions are designed to help you gain clarity on your current circumstances, so you can take a big, brave step forward...P.S. Expect to see me in your inbox giving you weekly tips on how you can overcome your blocks, learn how to own your story, and build a platform business to impact, serve and support others.
