Which of Your Thoughts Is Holding You Back?

Image Source

Quiz Questions

1.
You're getting evaluated by your boss. She thinks you are doing a great job but requires certain improvements as a result of a few errors you've made. What would your inner voice say about this?
Image Source
- A.
  'I cannot focus on anything I did well when I have made these mistakes."
- B.
  'I know I made a few mistakes and I clearly suck at those tasks."
- C.
  "Because of those negative comments, I can tell she doesn't like me very much."
- D.
  "What if I don't improve? What if I get demoted because of my errors?"
- E.
  "I must do better next time. It would be unacceptable to make similar mistakes in the future."
- F.
  "I failed this time around."
- G.
  "I did alright. I'll take her suggestions and put them into action."
2.
Pretend you are a decent cook with average experience in the kitchen. You cook a meal for your friends. Everything was delicious however the potatoes were burnt. What would your inner voice say about this?
Image Source
- A.
  "I'm glad the turkey was good but I can't stop thinking about the potatoes. I just can't believe I burnt them."
- B.
  "I suck at cooking potatoes."
- C.
  "I could tell my friends disliked the potatoes. I didn't have to ask, I could just tell."
- D.
  "I should have used a timer. I shouldn't have burnt them."
- E.
  "What if my friends are now weary about my cooking? What if they come over for dinner a little less?"
- F.
  "I botched the meal."
- G.
  "The meal was alright overall."
3.
You've only spoken to your new neighbor one time as he was in his driveway bringing in groceries. He smiled but couldn't really talk to you. What does your inner voice say about this?
Image Source
- A.
  "Nothing about the interaction was promising."
- B.
  "I just don't think he is a chatty person."
- C.
  "He must have thought I was weird."
- D.
  "I should have gone to see him sooner."
- E.
  "What if he thought I was snooping? What if he tells his partner and the other neighbors that I'm nosey?"
- F.
  "I just don't like him."
- G.
  "He was busy. I'll perhaps try him another time."
4.
You're taking a night class in math. You get your first mark back and it is below average. What would your inner voice say?
Image Source
- A.
  "Look at those mistakes."
- B.
  "I suck at math."
- C.
  "I'm sure my teacher thinks I am not smart."
- D.
  "I cannot get this kind of grade again. It's just unacceptable."
- E.
  "What if I end up failing this class?"
- F.
  "I basically failed the test."
- G.
  "I just haven't grasped all of the concepts yet."
5.
Your new colleague comes into the office and brings you a coffee. She seems quite jittery today, even anxious. How does your inner voice react?
Image Source
- A.
  "I can't focus on anyone else in the office when she is in this state."
- B.
  "She must have anxiety trouble."
- C.
  "She's upset with me, I think."
- D.
  "I hope she can still do her full day of work. We need to get a lot done today."
- E.
  "What if she's sick? What if she has a panic attack? What if we need to bring her to the hospital?"
- F.
  "She is ready to quit."
- G.
  "She seems off. I'll perhaps go see if she's ok."
6.
What does your inner voice think when the new person you are dating doesn't text you back like he normally would?
Image Source
- A.
  "I can't focus on anything else until he texts me back."
- B.
  "He must be a bad communicator."
- C.
  "He doesn't want to be with me anymore."
- D.
  "He should be texting me back. That's what you do when someone texts you - you text them back shortly."
- E.
  "What if he's contemplating breaking up with me? What if he never wants to talk to me again?"
- F.
  "I'm not sure I like him anymore"
- G.
  "He must be caught up with something. I'll try him a bit later."
7.
You trip up on your words during a presentation. What does your inner voice say about this?
Image Source
- A.
  "I can't think of anything I did well. I'm just focused on my error."
- B.
  "I guess I'm not a great presenter."
- C.
  "For sure my classmates were unimpressed with me."
- D.
  "I practiced everyday, but that wasn't enough. I should have practiced way more."
- E.
  "What if I get a failing grade? What if I fail the course?"
- F.
  "I plainly failed this presentation."
- G.
  "I did okay. I made a mistake or two but, overall, it was alright."
8.
Before going into a standard meeting with your colleagues, you notice a stain on your left lapel. What does your inner voice say about this?
- A.
  "The only thing I can see in the mirror is this stain."
- B.
  "I'm not a very careful person, am I?"
- C.
  "The team will think I don't wash my shirts properly."
- D.
  "This is unacceptable. I have to change my shirt somehow."
- E.
  "What if my boss thinks I'm careless and unobservant? What happens if it ultimately affects my status at work?"
- F.
  "I'm a slob."
- G.
  "Stuff happens."
9.
Your doctor recommends that you take 2 days off from work. What does your inner voice have to say?
Image Source
- A.
  "What's the point? I'll just be focusing on what I didn't get done at work."
- B.
  "I can't do it. If I do, I'll end up always needing days off."
- C.
  "My co-workers will judge me for leaving."
- D.
  "I shouldn't leave my team high and dry. I really should finish my project."
- E.
  "What if my team no longer sees me as strong and valuable? What if I lose my good reputation or worse yet, my position?"
- F.
  "I'm useless."
- G.
  "Ill take a few days off and hopefully come back to work feeling better."
10.
You are committed to a workout plan. You didn't follow your plan a few times this the week. What is your inner voice saying about this?
Image Source
- A.
  "I missed my training sessions 3 out of 7 times this week! There were 3 missed opportunities to workout."
- B.
  "I am a person who has trouble committing to an exercise regime."
- C.
  "My training buddies think I am not up for the challenge. "
- D.
  "It is unacceptable. Next week, I will work out for 7 days straight, without excuses."
- E.
  "What if I lose muscle mass and everything I've worked hard for?"
- F.
  "I am ultimately weak."
- G.
  "It's alright to miss a few workouts here and there. I'll keep my eye on the goal anyhow."
11.
Someone you just met lost your notes. What does your inner voice say about this?
Image Source
- A.
  "There are no upsides to lending people my notes."
- B.
  "He is an inconsiderate person."
- C.
  "I can tell that he doesn't even care that he lost my notes."
- D.
  "It is just unacceptable to lose somebody's notes."
- E.
  "What if I never replace those notes? What if no one can help me get the information I need to study? What if I therefore can't answer test questions?"
- F.
  "This person makes for a horrible classmate."
- G.
  "It sucks that he lost my notes. He'll have to re-earn my trust. I'll find a solution to replace my notes."

Quiz Outcomes

1.
Your limited thinking pattern is: Filtering
Image Source
Someone who engages in filtering, filters out the positive aspects of a situation and mostly sees the negative aspects. The easiest way to evaluate your tendency to filter is to consider how you react when you receive feedback from a boss or teacher, or how you perform in sports or videogames. If you endlessly focus on the bad part of your performance, you will enhance your internal critical voice which can lead to a lowering of self-confidence and self-esteem.Some people report that filtering in moderation can increase motivation to improve in the future, which is great. However, relentless filtering and incessantly bathing in the bad aspects of a situation will have a negative impact on the self.How to reduce filtering...1. Catch Yourself in the ActIn order to eventually move away from filtering as your default pattern, you must begin to identify it. You won't be able to change your thoughts right away - the first step is awareness. After all, how can we defeat the beast if we can't see it first? Take a note pad or a notes app and when you filter, jot it down!2. Do Not Abruptly Stop FilteringI would be doing you a disservice if I told you that it will be easy to change a thinking pattern you've had for years. No joke, it's hard. That said, you won't be able to snap your fingers and start seeing the positive aspects of a situation when you've been accustomed to seeing the negative ones. You won't be able to simply eliminate the filtering. My only request is that you ADD thoughts after you filter. Read #3 and I'll explain. 3. Reach For Balanced ThoughtsAfter you've filtered out the positive and you are aware that you've done it, it's time for you to begin a new program or pattern. I suggest jotting down the negative aspects (as stated above). But then, in a column next to the negative aspects, you must jot down a positive aspect. For EVERY SINGLE negative aspect, you have to give me a positive aspect, that's the deal.4. Practice! Practice! Practice!Once you've tried out the new pattern a few times, you must make certain to continue to practice seeing the positive aspects. The reason why many people fail at defeating their cognitive distortions is because they give up the fight. Your distortions want to win and they are powerful - they have even gotten your neurons involved in perpetuating their existence. Therefore, you cannot give up. Repeat step #3 over and over and over again until your new pattern becomes the strongest pattern.Hold up — let me introduce myself!Hey there, I’m Anna-Maria Tosco 👋 I’m a tenured psychology teacher as well as a licensed psychologist. My passion involves making psychological concepts more mainstream to reduce stigma around brain health and increase a person's desire to seek help when needed.When I go to social gatherings and people find out what I do for a living they sometimes say, "Oh boy, I'd be a great case study for you - I'm so messed up!" While I know that they are kidding, part of me thinks they might actually believe they are "losing their minds." I'd like to show people that we are all beautifully flawed and that our psychological issues don't have to be intimidating - they can actually be illuminating. 🙌Looking for a few more resources? Fill up on these...1. Follow me on Instagram and Facebook to stay in the loop with what I'm doing next.2. Go to my website for TONS of free information in the form of articles and videos (www.sassypsychologist.com),3. Feel free to interact with me on Facebook, Instagram, or via email. It will be my pleasure to have a chat with you.P.S Expect to see me in your inbox with the latest article, video, or quiz 🙌
2.
Your limited thinking pattern is: Overgeneralizing
Image Source
Overgeneralizing is arriving at a definite conclusion with very little evidence that proves the accuracy of that conclusion. Just because something happened once, you draw a conclusion that something similar will happen again. For example, just because your friend spilled a glass of wine, you conclude that she is clumsy. Just because your neighbor gets into one fender-bender, you conclude that he is a bad driver. Just because your son gets one bad grade in math, you assume that he has poor math skills. How to reduce your tendency to overgeneralize...1. Catch Yourself In The ActKnowing is half the battle, right? And while you will not be able to stop yourself in the act, you can be aware of your overgeneralization after the fact and commit to the following suggestions. 2. ReflectionRealizing that you have drawn a false (and, likely, negative) conclusion about someone also requires some reflection. What am I concluding here? Do I have sufficient evidence to back up my claim or am I simply jumping to conclusions based on one piece of evidence?3. Weigh the Evidence Weigh the evidence that supports your conclusion against the evidence that does not support that conclusion. If you have a tendency to overgeneralize, you will be shown, time and time again, that you do not have sufficient evidence to back up your claim. You can then draw the accurate conclusion that you were wrong!Hold up — let me introduce myself!Hey there, I’m Anna-Maria Tosco 👋 I’m a tenured psychology teacher as well as a licensed psychologist. My passion involves making psychological concepts more mainstream to reduce stigma around brain health and increase a person's desire to seek help when needed.When I go to social gatherings and people find out what I do for a living they sometimes say, "Oh boy, I'd be a great case study for you - I'm so messed up!" While I know that they are kidding, part of me thinks they might actually believe they are "losing their minds." I'd like to show people that we are all beautifully flawed and that our psychological issues don't have to be intimidating - they can actually be illuminating. 🙌Looking for a few more resources? Fill up on these...1. Follow me on Instagram and Facebook to stay in the loop with what I'm doing next.2. Go to my website for TONS of free information in the form of articles and videos. www.sassypsychologist.com3. Feel free to interact with me on Facebook, Instagram, or via email. It will be my pleasure to have a chat with you.P.S Expect to see me in your inbox with the latest article, video, or quiz 🙌
3.
Your limited thinking pattern is: Mind Reading and/or Personalization
Image Source
Both mind reading and personalization involve assuming that you know what others are thinking without verification. Mind reading is more general in that you assume you know what others are thinking about anything or everything. For example, you are watching a dog walker get tangled up in leashes and you assume that she is thinking she hates her job. You are watching an argument breakout between your family members and you assume to know what each individual is thinking or feeling. You notice someone with their head down and you assume that they are sad. Personalization is, as you can deduce, more personal. Essentially, engaging in personalization quite simply means, taking things personally. You believe that you are somehow responsible for, or relevant to, the occurrences in your environment. If your office mate looks angry, it's somehow your doing. Your teacher comments to the whole class about the poor quality of the last assignment and you think she's talking about your assignment. You see three people whispering in the corner as you walk by and you assume they are talking about you. How to reduce personalization and mind reading...1. Catch Yourself In The ActCommonly, personalization is followed by significant feelings of sadness or feeling low. Use the appearance of these feelings to acknowledge that you recently personalized something. Think back to acknowledge what recent situation you might have taken personally.2. Start Having Your Own BackYou will quickly learn that personalization is a by-product of low self-esteem. You are being exceptionally hard on yourself because you make yourself the cause of, or hold yourself accountable for, the things in your environment that actually have nothing to do with you. You must begin to challenge your critical voice. Jot down your horrible assumptions in one column and, in the other, directly challenge and counter these assumptions. For example, "Look at them whispering in the corner as I walk by. For sure they were talking about me." A counter-argument would be: "Sure, they could have been talking about me but it's also possible they were not. There are tons of things to whisper about that have nothing to do with me."3. Self-ExposureNow while someone who personalizes is often incorrect in their assumptions, they often have a deep-rooted fear of people not seeing them favorably. They are anxious about the judgements or dislike of other people. Therefore, with the help of a therapist, you should work towards tolerating the harsh judgements of other people. When people insult us, we have to find a way to effectively cope and eventually thrive, in spite of the judgments of other people. Not only will this involve creative exposure strategies, but it might also require psychodynamic work that involves dipping back into the past to understand how (or with whom) the harsh inner critic developed. Remember, personalization thrives when we can't stick up for ourselves. We therefore have to figure out why you have a tendency to sell yourself short. Hold up — let me introduce myself!Hey there, I’m Anna-Maria Tosco 👋 I’m a tenured psychology teacher as well as a licensed psychologist. My passion involves making psychological concepts more mainstream to reduce stigma around brain health and increase a person's desire to seek help when needed.When I go to gatherings and people find out what I do for a living they sometimes say, "Oh boy, I'd be a great case study for you - I'm so messed up!" While I know that they are kidding, part of me thinks they might actually believe they are "losing their minds." I'd like to show people that we are all beautifully flawed and that our psychological issues don't have to be intimidating - they can actually be illuminating. 🙌Looking for a few more resources? Fill up on these...1. Follow me on Instagram and Facebook to stay in the loop with what I'm doing next.2. Go to my website for TONS of free information in the form of articles and videos. www.sassypsychologist.com3. Feel free to interact with me on Facebook, Instagram, or via email. It will be my pleasure to have a chat with you.P.S Expect to see me in your inbox with the latest article, video, or quiz 🙌
4.
Your limited thinking pattern is: Shoulds
Image Source
Having "shoulds" is essentially having a set of rigid (likely perfectionistic) rules and exceptionally high standards. Breaking these rules or bringing down these standards for any reason is simply unacceptable. "I should call my grandmother everyday without fail." "I must workout 6 days a week sans faute." "I ought to do 3 hours of homework every night, no excuses." "I must make a gourmet meal for my family at least 4 times per week even if I'm exhausted." Having standards is not a bad thing, however, when you have exceptionally high standards in every facet of your life and also hold the believe that you cannot reduce those standards for any reason - that's when "shoulds" become unsustainable and irrational.Having ironclad rules and exceptionally high standards usually signifies that your worth only equates what you can produce. When you have "shoulds" the value you bring to the world is unfortunately not measured by your heart or your intentions but is instead based on how you perform.How to reduce "shoulding all over yourself..."1. Catch Yourself In The ActWhen you find yourself bending over backwards to make sure that you get everything done in an exceptionally way, consider that you might be engaging in "shoulds." You won't be able to stop it right away, but knowing that you are doing it is half the battle. You might also notice that your body is giving you signs that it is tired of your exceptionally high standards by being exhausted or being more anxious.2. Write Up A Different To-Do ListReducing "shoulds" is one of the hardest things my clients attempt to do. It won't be easy because "shoulds" usually come with a lifetime of rules and high standards. That is why you might not be able to reduce rigid standards at first but you might be able to write up a to-do list with less items on it. In other words, you might not be able to reduce the perfectionism right away, but you might be able to reduce the number of things you think you must do during your day.3. ReflectionIn your downtime, you must consider doing your therapeutic homework which consists of reflecting upon your desire to execute perfection. What is so unacceptable or intolerable about not finishing the painting job on time, or having a little clutter in the den, or forgetting to cook that side dish? The only way you will reduce "shoulds" is if you dig deep in order to understand whether or not your value is tied to what you do or how you do it. Often times, it is, and the only way to stop "shoulding" is to begin a new pattern of thought: "I am as great as I've always been, even if I don't get the job done perfectly." Ahhhh. Hold up — let me introduce myself!Hey there, I’m Anna-Maria Tosco 👋 I’m a tenured psychology teacher as well as a licensed psychologist. My passion involves making psychological concepts more mainstream to reduce stigma around brain health and increase a person's desire to seek help when needed.When I go to gatherings and people find out what I do for a living they sometimes say, "Oh boy, I'd be a great case study for you - I'm so messed up!" While I know that they are kidding, part of me thinks they might actually believe they are "losing their minds." I'd like to show people that we are all beautifully flawed and that our psychological issues don't have to be intimidating - they can actually be illuminating. 🙌Looking for a few more resources? Fill up on these...1. Follow me on Instagram and Facebook to stay in the loop with what I'm doing next.2. Go to my website for TONS of free information in the form of articles and videos. www.sassypsychologist.com3. Feel free to interact with me on Facebook, Instagram, or via email. It will be my pleasure to have a chat with you.P.S Expect to see me in your inbox with the latest article, video, or quiz 🙌
5.
Your limited thinking pattern is: Catastrophizing
Image Source
Catastrophizing is being constantly preoccupied or worried about a negative outcome that might occur in the future. You become so flustered with the thought of something bad happening in the future that you rigorously worry in the present, and attempt to control multiple elements in your day to day experiences just to attain some kind of peace of mind (unfortunately, that peace of mind is actually a false sense of security). The truth is, you have zero control over what happens in the future. The world, as we know it, can be very unpredictable and individuals who catastrophize also have a fear of the unknown.Additionally, you may have trouble making decisions given that you would like to ensure that whatever you decide leads to the most favorable outcome. How to reduce catastrophizing...1. Acknowledge The Truth About Your Control IssuesIn your awareness of your desire to control many things, you must acknowledge the real reason behind your control and that is: you are attempting to influence a future outcome. You are trying to control the present to ensure that a negative future outcome does not happen. Truth is, control is an illusion - we have no influence over the unpredictable future.2. Balance Your Thoughts About The FutureYour most feared future outcome does exist in the realm of possibilities but you do not always have to play the horror movie of your future. Instead, you must realize that there is a plethora of possible realities in your future and you must stop giving time and headspace to the outcomes that are dark and gruesome. 3. Play the "What If" GameAcknowledging the many future possibilities will help but some people need more. In that case, you must play the "what if" game. Essentially, you have to ask yourself what if your worst fear happens. "What if I fail?" "What if I get demoted?" "What if I lose the house?" These are anxiety-provoking situations but you cannot allow yourself to be victimized and crippled by your fears. You have to be able to face them and to acknowledge that, even if they happen, you will make it through somehow. Even if your fears are related to death or cancer, you must expose yourself to that possibility, process your feelings and somehow grow bigger than the fear. 3. Remember Your Power and What You Do Have Control OverI like to remind my clients of their power when we discuss their fears. We have a tendency to believe that if our fears manifested, they would swallow us whole. How about this thought for a change: maybe that fear does not know who it is messing with. Maybe, just maybe, "cancer has barked up the wrong tree," for example. When thinking about our fears of the future, we often underestimate our ability to fight fearlessly. We have a power and resiliency that will show up when we need it most.You might not have control over any future outcome and you may not know what is to come but you can trust that your mind and body will always fight when you need them too - mother nature saw to that. Hold up — let me introduce myself!Hey there, I’m Anna-Maria Tosco 👋 I’m a tenured psychology teacher as well as a licensed psychologist. My passion involves making psychological concepts more mainstream to reduce stigma around brain health and increase a person's desire to seek help when needed.When I go to gatherings and people find out what I do for a living they sometimes say, "Oh boy, I'd be a great case study for you - I'm so messed up!" While I know that they are kidding, part of me thinks they might actually believe they are "losing their minds." I'd like to show people that we are all beautifully flawed and that our psychological issues don't have to be intimidating - they can actually be illuminating. 🙌Looking for a few more resources? Fill up on these...1. Follow me on Instagram and Facebook to stay in the loop with what I'm doing next.2. Go to my website for TONS of free information in the form of articles and videos. www.sassypsychologist.com3. Feel free to interact with me on Facebook, Instagram, or via email. It will be my pleasure to have a chat with you.P.S Expect to see me in your inbox with the latest article, video, or quiz 🙌
6.
Your limited thinking pattern is: Polarized Thinking
Image Source
Polarized thinking is also known as black-or-white thinking or dichotomous thinking. Things must be categorized into one of two polarized categories like, flawless or broken, good or bad, angelic or devilish, success or failure, filthy or immaculate. You cannot tolerate anything that is not placed into a definite category. In other words, you cannot tolerate seeing life in "shades of grey," which is unfortunate because circumstances in life often lie in the grey zone, without a polarized absolute conclusion. Not knowing where things stand has always been anxiety-provoking for you so using absolute conclusions have always provided you with some comfort. How to reduce polarized thinking...1. Catch Yourself In The Act or Notice the PatternOut of the many cognitive distortions, polarized thinking is one of the hardest to uncover. If your opinions often feel extreme and/or flip from one polarized end to the other, you may be exhibiting polarized thinking. 2. Acknowledge the Grey Zone Once you realize that your opinions are often polarized, it will be important to start considering and accepting the grey zone. For example, you would have to accept that your meal doesn't have to be putrid or exquisite. Instead, it can be delicious but had a little too much salt. Your new teacher doesn't have to be brilliant or incompetent. Instead, he could be a nice guy with mediocre teaching skills. 3. Learn To Tolerate The Emotions In The Grey ZoneIndividuals who engage in polarized thinking are more comfortable concluding in extremes. Extremes allow us to declare definite and absolute conclusions. Being in the grey zone however implies complexity and uncertainty. Therefore, it is really important that you process and tolerate the emotions associated with the complexity and uncertainty of people, circumstances, and of life in general. The goal is to reduce the anxiety and intolerable emotions around shades of grey.Hold up — let me introduce myself!Hey there, I’m Anna-Maria Tosco 👋 I’m a tenured psychology teacher as well as a licensed psychologist. My passion involves making psychological concepts more mainstream to reduce stigma around brain health and increase a person's desire to seek help when needed.When I go to gatherings and people find out what I do for a living they sometimes say, "Oh boy, I'd be a great case study for you - I'm so messed up!" While I know that they are kidding, part of me thinks they might actually believe they are "losing their minds." I'd like to show people that we are all beautifully flawed and that our psychological issues don't have to be intimidating - they can actually be illuminating. 🙌Looking for a few more resources? Fill up on these...1. Follow me on Instagram and Facebook to stay in the loop with what I'm doing next.2. Go to my website for TONS of free information in the form of articles and videos. www.sassypsychologist.com3. Feel free to interact with me on Facebook, Instagram, or via email. It will be my pleasure to have a chat with you.P.S Expect to see me in your inbox with the latest article, video, or quiz 🙌
7.
There is no indication of a cognitive distortion here.
Image Source
With the answer you provided you likely have a healthy thinking pattern. Don't be fooled - healthy thinking does not mean "positive" thinking. Having a healthy thinking style indicates that you have the ability to consider the positive, negative, and neutral interpretations of a situation. You are therefore, not preoccupied with one particular outcome or possibility. You consider all possibilities and accept that circumstances are multi-layered and complex. You may also have a healthy self-esteem in that you know you cannot be perfect. You celebrate your strengths with healthy pride and tend to your struggles with compassion and care, not harsh criticism. Hold up — let me introduce myself!Hey there, I’m Anna-Maria Tosco 👋 I’m a tenured psychology teacher as well as a licensed psychologist. My passion involves making psychological concepts more mainstream to reduce stigma around brain health and increase a person's desire to seek help when needed.When I go to gatherings and people find out what I do for a living they sometimes say, "Oh boy, I'd be a great case study for you - I'm so messed up!" While I know that they are kidding, part of me thinks they might actually believe they are "losing their minds." I'd like to show people that we are all beautifully flawed and that our psychological issues don't have to be intimidating - they can actually be illuminating. 🙌Looking for a few more resources? Fill up on these...1. Follow me on Instagram and Facebook to stay in the loop with what I'm doing next.2. Go to my website for TONS of free information in the form of articles and videos. www.sassypsychologist.com3. Feel free to interact with me on Facebook, Instagram, or via email. It will be my pleasure to have a chat with you.P.S Expect to see me in your inbox with the latest article, video, or quiz 🙌