What's your default conflict management style?

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Quiz Questions

1.
How do you feel when someone brings up an issue in your relationship with you?
- A.
  Uncomfortable! Can't they just pretend it isn't happening like a normal person?
- B.
  Often guilty that the other person had to be the one to bring it up.
- C.
  To be honest, I feel defensive pretty quickly.
- D.
  Happy to be able to talk about it and quickly move on.
- E.
  Relieved at the opportunity to finally understand what's going on in their head!
2.
What's the most important thing to you out of the below?
- A.
  The outcome of the conflict ultimately! Getting the result I wanted out of it.
- B.
  Feeling like I've at least got some of what I wanted and that the other party was willing to make concessions too.
- C.
  How the other person experiences me in the interaction. I don't want to lose a relationship by seeming too bossy or inflexible.
- D.
  Keeping the status quo or peace.
- E.
  Feeling like all the information was on the table first and the decision reached was the best it could be.
3.
I gravitate towards people who:
- A.
  Are decisive and know what they want.
- B.
  Are super easy going and don't make a big deal out of nothing.
- C.
  Are really in-tune to others' feelings and always consider these in their actions.
- D.
  Are genuinely really curious about others and what motivates them.
4.
What phrase resonates with you the most?
- A.
  If you don't stand up for yourself, no one will.
- B.
  If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all.
- C.
  Be the bigger person by conceding the win.
- D.
  No solution is perfect, you always have to give something to get something.
- E.
  "Win-win" is not just an advertising tagline.
5.
It's more important to me that others see me as:
- A.
  Easy going.
- B.
  Right / correct in my position.
- C.
  Nice.
- D.
  Reasonable.
- E.
  Honest.
6.
In an argument, how many questions do you typically ask?
- A.
  None, it's too late for that as they've already started a conflict.
- B.
  None, I just want to get it over as quickly as possible and move on.
- C.
  Not many, I'm usually too busy apologising and internally analysing what went wrong.
- D.
  A few, just to show I'm engaged with the issue at hand.
- E.
  A lot! How else will I know what they're really upset about?
7.
When I have a conflict with someone, it usually lasts for:
- A.
  Hours at the longest. I usually apologise and nip it in the bud as soon as possible!
- B.
  There's usually a week or two of a rough patch until we've settled down and been able to work through it together.
- C.
  Months but you know eventually we forget about it and things go back to normal.
- D.
  Years / often indefinitely! Some people never see the light.
8.
How much do you agree with the following: "A firm stance is the most effective way to get a result".
- A.
  Strongly Agree.
- B.
  Agree.
- C.
  I'm not sure.
- D.
  Disagree.
- E.
  Strongly Disagree.
9.
How quickly do you go into solution finding mode in a conflict?
- A.
  Pretty quickly because I usually know what I want.
- B.
  I usually just let the other person say what they need so we can move on.
- C.
  Once I've got a good sense of their point of view from what they've said.
- D.
  After asking a lot of questions to make sure everything is on the table.
- E.
  I'm usually offering solutions I think they're after pretty quickly, I want to seem engaged.
10.
My least favourite feeling from the below is:
- A.
  Feeling confronted.
- B.
  Feeling out of favour with someone.
- C.
  Feeling wrong.
- D.
  Feeling like I acted on the wrong assumption.
- E.
  Feeling cheated.

Quiz Outcomes

1.
Accommodating
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Keeper of the peace! But at what cost? An accommodating style typically sees you neglect your own needs or desires to prioritise those of others. People with this style usually simply give in or are persuaded to give in when faced with conflict.This style could be appropriate to use when you care less about the issue than the others, want to keep the peace, feel as though you are in the wrong, or feel like you have no choice but to agree to the other point-of-view. However be careful you're not short changing yourself as often this style doesn't land you with a solution you'll feel happy with for long!
2.
Avoiding
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Run for the hills!An avoiding style completely evades the conflict. You tend to neither pursue your beliefs nor those of the others involved. People with this style can continuously postpone or completely dodge the conflict whenever it comes up.This style could be appropriate to use when the conflict seems trivial, you don't have the time or need more time to think, you feel as though you have no chance of winning, or you're afraid of being met with resentment. HOWEVER it can also see you loose relationships out of inaction or limit the quality of them by only allowing for a superficial peace.
3.
Compromising
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You're cutting the orange in half when you don't necessarily need to! No idea what I'm talking about? Google "Mediation orange example". A compromising style attempts to find a solution that will at least partially please all parties. You work to find a middle ground between all the needs, which would typically leave people unsatisfied or satisfied to a certain extent.This style could however be appropriate to use when it's more important to reach a solution than for the solution to be great, a deadline is rapidly approaching, you're at an impasse, or you need a temporary solution for the moment.However be careful not to sell yourself short when you could end up with the whole part of the orange you actually want!
4.
Collaborating
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You're a pie expander!A collaborating style attempts to find a solution that will meet the needs of all parties. Rather than trying to find a middle ground solution, you would aim for a solution that actually satisfies everyone and ends up being a win-win situation. Basically you look for ways to expand the pie rather than jump to divi it up, often arriving at creative solutions that meet more needs of everyone.This style is best used when multiple perspectives need to be addressed, there is an important relationship present between the parties, the final solution is too important for anyone to be displeased, or the beliefs of multiple stakeholders must be represented. So it's a goodie!
5.
Competing
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Check yourself mate! Jokes aside, if your default style is competing, you may be experiencing more hostile interactions than is necessary.A competing style takes a firm stance and can be slow to see the perspectives of the other parties. People with this style can fall in the trap of pushing their viewpoint on others or rejecting their ideas until they get their way.This style could be appropriate when you have to stand up for your rights or morals, need to make a quick decision and force others to get on board, need to end a long-term conflict, or have to prevent a terrible, opposing decision from being made. However, in most circumstances it can leave yourself and the other person involved feeling emotionally exhausted and unsatisfied.

What's your default conflict management style?

Any ideas? When answering the questions there may be multiple answers that sound like you. In this case, choose the one that MOST resonates with you.

Quiz Questions

Quiz Outcomes