What's Blocking Your Opportunity for Success?

Image Source

Quiz Questions

1.
Looking back, I think I would have been more successful if I had
Image Source
- A.
  communicated more clearly.
- B.
  stood up for myself.
- C.
  managed my stress better.
- D.
  more control of my emotions.
2.
In my close relationships I most often
Image Source
- A.
  feel frustrated when people don't listen to reason.
- B.
  end up in an argument for no reason.
- C.
  feel invisible and under-appreciated.
- D.
  get accused of shutting down and closing off.
3.
At work, my biggest challenge is
Image Source
- A.
  getting into debates and arguments.
- B.
  having to correct other people's mistakes.
- C.
  more pressure and stress than I can sometimes handle.
- D.
  reluctance to ask for things I need from bosses and co-workers.
4.
Which of the following would you like to have more of in your life right now?
Image Source
- A.
  Acknowledgement
- B.
  Calm
- C.
  Control
- D.
  To be listened to
5.
In social situations, I most often feel
Image Source
- A.
  impatient and bored unless I'm in charge.
- B.
  like I don't know what to say.
- C.
  relaxed and uneasy at the same time.
- D.
  that people don't really care if I'm there.
6.
When stress is high, the first thing I do is
Image Source
- A.
  complain about it but don't take any action.
- B.
  add more items to my to do list.
- C.
  take control and get the problem solved.
- D.
  unfortunately, raise my voice until I feel understood.
7.
When others need things from me, my first reaction is
Image Source
- A.
  assume responsibility and take care of it.
- B.
  do whatever it takes to keep them happy.
- C.
  ignore their need until they get angry.
- D.
  tell them what they should do to solve their own problem.
8.
When I really want something, I most often
Image Source
- A.
  don't even ask because it'd be a waste of time.
- B.
  expect it and don't stop until I get it.
- C.
  just get it without letting others know.
- D.
  put it off until other priorities are met.
9.
What I'd most like people to tell me is,
Image Source
- A.
  I understand you.
- B.
  Take a break.
- C.
  You're doing a great job!
- D.
  You're right.
10.
I would be more active socially if
Image Source
- A.
  I didn't already have so much on my plate.
- B.
  I had more close friends.
- C.
  I knew how to fit in better.
- D.
  People would be more interested in talking to me.
11.
When something needs to get done,
Image Source
- A.
  I do it because I'm the only one who will.
- B.
  I get someone else to do it.
- C.
  I make a good case for why I can't do it.
- D.
  I pray no one asks me.
12.
Which of these are you more likely to avoid?
Image Source
- A.
  Conflict
- B.
  Self-care
- C.
  Weakness
- D.
  Conversation

Quiz Outcomes

1.
COMMUNICATION
Image Source
You're often frustrated that people don't listen to you. You don't feel heard. That sometimes has you feeling lonely, even when you're surrounded by people.You're good with the facts. You can parse out what's necessary without wasting time. You set a good example of efficiency with words, and you don't get bogged down with irrelavant opinions or drama. Your style is "get in and get out." Less is more.Here's the thing though, without a healthy amount of interest in others' concerns, they are less likely to show interest in you or in what's important to you. That's why you tend to feel unheard and less understood.Because you're frustrated about this, you likely do things to get your mind off it or to just feel better. Many men drink or look at porn or play video games or chase after sex. Maybe your escape isn't as serious, and you just binge on Netflix or eat too much crap. In any case, you're not alone. And you can learn healthier ways to cope or drastically change your behavior if that's what you want.So practice listening to what others are really saying and what they may be feeling underneath the words you hear. This will greatly increase the likelihood that they will listen to you. You owe it to yourself to connect better and feel understood.“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” ― George Bernard ShawHow to leverage your Communication to your advantage...1. Observe before you take action.You're a doer and a fixer. You will be better equipped to handle situations if you take a breath and absorb all the information that's available to you. There's no need to push yourself to take quick, drastic steps.As you pause to listen, you'll have time to reset. Considering things from others' perspective sometimes reveals better options.2. Take care of yourself.You know that sense of satisfaction you get right after your car is detailed and tuned-up? That's how you can feel about yourself when you stop and meet your own needs. Schedule maintenance for your health, your fitness, and some R&R (rest and relaxation). Develop emotional resilience, and get a sense of connection with others. You'll be better equipped to help others and find your own success, too.3. Learn healthy assertivenessDevelop a balance between what's good for you and for someone else. Leave interactions feeling satisfied that it benefits both you and the other party. This yields both confidence for you and appreciation from others.Applying effective assertiveness is better than fighting back, letting yourself be walked all over, or forcing your agenda down someone's throat.Wait! — let me introduce myself . . . I'm Kevin Bergen. I help men through the transition from feeling unappreciated, misunderstood, disrespected, and powerless to feeling recognized, heard, respected, and empowered. My clients don't have to settle for lives they don't love. I'm a licensed psychotherapist and men's coach, and I know first hand how good life can be. I offer tools to men so they can get the same satisfaction. You're never too old to learn new things or make big changes. For example, in my late 30s, I decided to completely change careers. I went to grad school, got my license, and opened a therapy practice where I observed that many men were seeking strategies and steps rather than therapy. I created coaching programs to more adequately meet their needs.I've been happily married for 34 years. My wife and I have four grown daughters (and two granddaughters so far).What to do next:I offer a 20-minute laser coaching session in which we will work on two new communication skills that you can use immediately to improve communication with people in your life.To schedule your appointment, enter your email address, and I will send you a link to much schedule.
2.
PASSIVITY
Image Source
When it comes to feeling appreciated for your contributions, you just don't. People don't acknowledge what you do. You're very agreeable and easy to get along with, but too many times, you feel overlooked or your opinions get discounted.But you're good at keeping things from getting out of hand. You keep the peace. And it's easy to do business with you. People like to have you on their team because you're a hard worker. You can be depended on.Sometimes when you complain to friends about how you're being treated, their advice is impractical. It's just not you. What works for them seems like too much of a hassle. But your approach so far isn't really working, either.I get it! You don't like hassles — you're very good at avoiding them, and why should you have to deal with more stress? Instead, maybe you do things to get your mind off it or just to feel better. Many men drink or look at porn or play video games or chase after sex. Maybe your escape isn't as serious and you just binge on Netflix or eat too much crap. In any case, you're not alone. And you can learn healthier ways to cope or drastically change your behavior if that's what you want.So try for a little more balance between the good you do for others and what's good for you. You'll never feel as confident as when you're the one looking out for you. It's very likely that looking after yourself will make others want you around more, too.“I encourage people to remember that "no" is a complete sentence.” ― Gavin de BeckerHow to leverage Passivity to your advantage...1. Observe before you take action.You're a doer and a fixer. You will be better equipped to handle situations if you take a breath and absorb all the information that's available to you. There's no need to push yourself to take quick, drastic steps.As you pause to listen, you'll have time to reset. Considering things from others' perspective sometimes reveals better options.2. Take care of yourself.You know that sense of satisfaction you get right after your car is detailed and tuned-up? That's how you can feel about yourself when you stop and meet your own needs. Schedule maintenance for your health, your fitness, and some R&R (rest and relaxation). Develop emotional resilience, and get a sense of connection with others. You'll be better equipped to help others and find your own success, too.3. Learn healthy assertivenessDevelop a balance between what's good for you and for someone else. Leave interactions feeling satisfied that it benefits both you and the other party. This yields both confidence for you and appreciation from others.Applying effective assertiveness is better than letting yourself be walked all over, fighting back, or forcing your agenda down someone's throat.Wait — let me introduce myself!I'm Kevin Bergen. I help men through the transition from feeling unappreciated, misunderstood, disrespected, and powerless to feeling recognized, heard, respected, and empowered. My clients don't have to settle for lives they don't love. I'm a licensed psychotherapist and men's coach, and I know first hand how good life can be. I offer tools to men so they can get the same satisfaction. You're never too old to learn new things or make big changes. For example, in my late 30s, I decided to completely change careers. I went to grad school, got my license, and opened a therapy practice where I observed that many men were seeking strategies and steps rather than therapy. I created coaching programs to more adequately meet their needs.I've been happily married for 34 years. My wife and I have four grown daughters (and two granddaughters so far).What to do next:I have a really great tool to help people communicate effectively. I'd like to send that to you with your results of this quiz.Enter your email address here, and I'll get both your results and this communication tool to you right away.
3.
STRESS
Image Source
When it comes to taking on more responsibility, you never say no. You pride yourself on juggling projects and favors and jobs. But you're tired.While you wear your responsibilities like a badge of honor — after all, no one can be depended on like you — the pressure you feel is growing and might cause you to break down and disappoint a lot of people.Rest and reset are simply not in your vocabulary. Of course you take time for yourself, but that's often a form of escape, and you end up feeling worse for having done it.Do you drink? Or look at porn? Some guys play video games or chase after sex. Maybe your escape is only Netflix binging or eating too much crap. In any case, you're not alone. Lots of guys practice escape behavior. You can learn healthier ways to cope or completely change your behavior if that's what's going to work for you.When you do take time to reflect, you tend to entertain the worst possible outcome. Even when you try not to think that way, you tend to expect the worst. After all, it's better to be prepared for things going wrong than blindsided, right?Here's the thing though, if you stop and sharpen your axe, you'll make up for the downtime by splitting kindling faster. When you insist on pushing through with a dull blade, you'll likely collapse before you're halfway through.“If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.” — Doug LarsonHow to leverage Stress to your advantage...1. Observe before you take action.You're a doer and a fixer. You will be better equipped to handle situations if you take a breath and absorb all the information that's available to you. There's no need to push yourself to take quick, drastic steps.As you pause to listen, you'll have time to reset. Considering things from others' perspective sometimes reveals better options.2. Take care of yourself.You know that sense of satisfaction you get right after your car is detailed and tuned-up? That's how you can feel about yourself when you stop and meet your own needs. Schedule maintenance for your health, your fitness, and some R&R (rest and relaxation). Develop emotional resilience, and get a sense of connection with others. You'll be better equipped to help others and find your own success, too.3. Learn healthy assertivenessDevelop a balance between what's good for you and for someone else. Leave interactions feeling satisfied that it benefits both you and the other party. This yields both confidence for you and appreciation from others.Applying effective assertiveness is better than letting yourself be walked all over, fighting back, or forcing your agenda down someone's throat.Wait — let me introduce myself!I'm Kevin Bergen. I help men through the transition from feeling unappreciated, misunderstood, disrespected, and powerless to feeling recognized, heard, respected, and empowered. My clients don't have to settle for lives they don't love. I'm a licensed psychotherapist and men's coach, and I know first hand how good life can be. I offer tools to men so they can get the same satisfaction. You're never too old to learn new things or make big changes. For example, in my late 30s, I decided to completely change careers. I went to grad school, got my license, and opened a therapy practice where I observed that many men were seeking strategies and steps rather than therapy. I created coaching programs to more adequately meet their needs.I've been happily married for 34 years. My wife and I have four grown daughters (and two granddaughters so far).What to do next:I have a really great tool to help people communicate effectively. I'd like to send that to you with your results of this quiz.Enter your email address here, and I'll get both your results and this communication tool to you right away.
4.
AGGRESSIVENESS
Image Source
When it comes to keeping things running correctly, you're the master. You know what needs to be done, and you get others in line to get the job done—and done right. You have a sense of satisfaction that things are working, and you're the one to be thanked.While your high expectations are because you accept only excellence—after all, it's in everyone's best interest that things are done properly—you can sometimes come off a bit strong.You lay down the law with an iron fist, and you don't tolerate excuses. You're not afraid to expect the best. You work hard, and there's no reason others can't do the same for you in return.It gets tiring, though. Maybe you have ways to get your mind off things or just relax. Many men drink or look at porn or play video games or chase after sex. Maybe your escape isn't as serious and you just binge on Netflix or eat too much crap. In any case, you're not alone. And you can learn healthier ways to cope or drastically change your behavior if that's what you want.You don't waste time talking even if conversations tend to be a little one-sided (in your favor). It's mostly you, as the boss, the father, the husband, or the dominant guy in your group of friends who calls the shots. At least, that's how others see it. You don't feel it's necessary to explain your reasoning or listen much to other points of view.Here's the thing though, employees, wives, or children often feel resentful, perform poorly, or lose respect for dominant men like you. And that's not in your best interest. You might consider softening your approach for long-term success."You cannot be right and be in control.” ― Meir EzraHow to leverage Aggressiveness to your advantage...1. Observe before you take action.You're a doer and a fixer. You will be better equipped to handle situations if you take a breath and absorb all the information that's available to you. There's no need to push yourself to take quick, drastic steps.As you pause to listen, you'll have time to reset. Considering things from others' perspective sometimes reveals better options.2. Take care of yourself.You know that sense of satisfaction you get right after your car is detailed and tuned-up? That's how you can feel about yourself when you stop and meet your own needs. Schedule maintenance for your health, your fitness, and some R&R (rest and relaxation). Develop emotional resilience, and get a sense of connection with others. You'll be better equipped to help others and find your own success, too.3. Learn healthy assertivenessDevelop a balance between what's good for you and for someone else. Leave interactions feeling satisfied that it benefits both you and the other party. This yields both confidence for you and appreciation from others.Applying effective assertiveness is better than letting yourself be walked all over, fighting back, or forcing your agenda down someone's throat.Wait — let me introduce myself!I'm Kevin Bergen. I help men through the transition from feeling unappreciated, misunderstood, disrespected, and powerless to feeling recognized, heard, respected, and empowered. My clients don't have to settle for lives they don't love. I'm a licensed psychotherapist and men's coach, and I know first hand how good life can be. I offer tools to men so they can get the same satisfaction. You're never too old to learn new things or make big changes. For example, in my late 30s, I decided to completely change careers. I went to grad school, got my license, and opened a therapy practice where I observed that many men were seeking strategies and steps rather than therapy. I created coaching programs to more adequately meet their needs.I've been happily married for 34 years. My wife and I have four grown daughters (and two granddaughters so far).What to do next:I have a really great tool to help people communicate effectively. I'd like to send that to you with your results of this quiz.Enter your email address here, and I'll get both your results and this communication tool to you right away.

What's Blocking Your Opportunity for Success?

Take this short quiz to find out which of the four opportunity blockers are holding you back from reaching your greatest possibilities. Plus get a few proven tips to get started!

Quiz Questions

Quiz Outcomes