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Your self-confidence might be a little shaky!
Your self-confidence appears to be a little shaky, but check in with yourself and see if you agree. Remember, you are to boss of you and you know yourself better than anyone else. Your answers indicate you may fall prey to common pitfalls that undermine self-confidence. Here are 5 podcasts I recommend to help boost your self-confidence so you can feel better & get what you desire in life. The Wildly Confident Podcast is all about connecting women back to their innate, solid and consistent confidence that lives in each of us.Ep. 12: How to Create a BoundaryEp. 49: How to Look Better in Photos (It's not what you think...)Ep. 33: Perfectionist Fantasies Ep 28: Healing Hurry SicknessEp. 48: How to be more Joyful Three of the top reasons I see women NOT being able to overcome certain confidence issues (despite having worked on them for years through self help and therapy) are rooted in & caused by not having real boundaries around cultural and systemic systems of disempowerment.This is why you might have done a ton of work around your confidence, but you still have self-doubt, anxiety, some people pleasing tendencies and have imposter syndrome sometimes. 1. Internalized Disempowerment. Women have internalized systems of disempowerment from a young age and they use these disempowering beliefs to police, judge and shame themselves. For example, by the age of 9 or 10 young girls start feeling bad about their bodies from societal pressures to look & be a certain way. By that age of 17, 78% of girls are dissatisfied with their bodies, and 45% of women on any given day are on a "diet". The work I do with clients is to dismantle where they have internalized these disempowering belief systems and to put a solid boundary between who they actually are (perfect, whole & complete just as they are) and these false belief systems that are creating disempowerment & anxiety in their lives. When you create a solid boundary between you and these systems of disempowerment, you will feel so much better and will actually get more of the results you want in your life. Because you can't shame & judge your way to a result, if you do that, you end up having to repeat it over and over again. This is one of the reasons "diets" don't work, and why lifestyle changes from a place of self-love do work. 2. Gaslighting Disempowerment. Women often don't acknowledge (or are even aware) that they are being gaslight/deceived by society about the structural systems of disempowerment that still effect women and other marginalized groups of people. 49% of people think women are treated equal or better than men, but women still do 65-93% of the unpaid housework when both partners work and I would say do 90%+ of the unpaid emotional labor both at home and in the workplace. This is just one example, but there are many more, from pay inequalities to sexual harassment to abuse/violence against women that speak volumes to the inequalities that still exists. The work I do with women is helping them understand the statistics & facts around inequalities that still exist in society, and then to process and release their anger/sadness/emotions they might feel. It's amazing how empowering it feels to say the truth your body already knows and to release the pent up emotions, this will free up so much energy to help you get more of the results your want in your life. The truth really does set you free. It's important to acknowledge, you are not crazy, you are doing way more, your anxiety and elevated nervous system is real b/c there are statistically more threats against you, and what can be done about it? What is realistic? What do you have capacity to do? What boundaries do you need to put in place so you can get the results you want in your life? This is the true definition of self care, not going to the spa (but I do love a good spa day too!). 3. Divide & Conquer Disempowerment. The cultural focus on the "individual" in our society, that if you have a problem, that it needs to be fixed on the individual level and it's your fault, discounts and erases large structures and systems of disempowerment. This results in you blaming & shaming yourself for things that often are out of your control. I help women see how connected everything is and how there is nothing wrong with them (you are actually whole, perfect & complete just as you are), that whatever you are facing is actually part of a really big system or web, and that you need to create really solid boundaries between those belief systems that divide, conquer and blame so you can focus on how we can heal as a whole together, what you can control and how to get the results in your life that you desire. Often we get so caught up in trying to "find" the answer/fault in ourselves that we get lost, confused or obsessed with fixing ourselves. When we step back from ourselves and see the bigger picture we find the root/cause of our issues are systemic and widespread, that many people are suffering with the same issues, and that we don't need to be "fixed", but the system needs to be fixed. By discovering this, we stop blaming and shaming ourselves and find peace & empowerment to love, forgive and nurture ourselves. This is how you get out of being stuck, confused or constantly trying to "fix" yourself and instead being able to focus on those positive repetitive results you desire. Book a consultation call with me to get a custom confidence & boundary plan tailored for where you have self-confidence issues. Just creating solid boundaries against systemic disempowerment is often all my clients needed to let their own self-confidence flourish and grow, getting rid of doubts and anxieties that had plagued them for years. And once you get rid of the anxiety & doubt, the results you desire come so much easier & faster. Added bonus, my clients just are happier and more present in their lives, really making an impact and living a life they are proud of.
