I actually feel pretty happy within the community.
I handle my issues as they come, or I leave.
You have four dance partners to choose from. Which one do you pick?
My favourite pro; there's no lineup right now and they just finished their dance. What great timing!
One of my favourite comfortable partners. So much comfort and I feel so safe!
The dancer I've noticed has been sitting out for a while.
The person I can tell is coming over to ask me, even though I don't know who they are.
How often do you perceive and speak up about annoying dance habits?
Honestly, I can deal with almost anything in a dance. It's really not hard to manage if you have good communication skills. I'm forward about my dance needs.
I notice pretty often and always say something, but I only get annoyed when I tell them once and they keep doing it.
I have a lot of patience for it even though I notice it. After all, they're not trying to be uncomfortable. But, I don't really tell them outside of body language. I'd rather they just have a good experience.
I often feel hostage to bad habits, and feel trapped. I often don't say anything even though it really bothers me, and would rather just avoid them so I don't have to be mean.
I don't really notice bad habits that often.
Are you critical of other dancers and yourself?
I'm critical of myself and others, publicly and/or privately.
I have a lot of suggestions and opinions on what others do, but it's in the spirit of helping things be better.
I sometimes compare people when giving a compliment, if that counts.
I'm much more self-critical of my own dancing, but it's not comparative.
I'm self-critical, and it often takes the form of comparing myself to others.
I'm more worried about being a good person than a good dancer.
I have more criticisms on how we can be nicer to people than about something dance related.
What do you notice first in a social?
Where the dancers I want to dance with - and avoid - are
Where my good friends are
Who looks like they need help or cheering up
Where the pros are
People who look like they haven't danced in a while
If I like the music
What thoughts frequently cross your mind during a social dance?
This is fun! They're really good.
Am I good enough for them?
This bad habit of theirs is really annoying.
I'm not sure if i'm comfortable with this. It's probably fine.
I love dancing with this person. They're so sweet.
I love beginners like this. So full of joy and promise.
This is uncomfortable, but I don't feel OK saying something.
This is uncomfortable, and I'm saying something/leaving now.
The GoodThe wonderful thing about being Others-Oriented is that your external focus makes you a prime candidate for community building and including others. You're likely really good about spreading the love, and are less likely to have a small group of friends you intermingle with. You likely find it easy to share your "whole self" with partners, regardless of skill level, and have a high tolerance for annoyances and bad habits.You may be the person who is able to connect with those that most others find difficult, irritating, or odd, and help them blossom. You probably also rarely complain, and are generally thought of as a "bright spot" within dance (at least externally). You're more likely to appreciate being a trusted and liked member of the social community than a good dancer. A compliment from a scared beginner that you made feel safe likely would mean more to you than praise from your favourite star on your basic steps. You know how much it hurts when someone says or does something mean - and you really don't want to do that to anyone else. The DifficultThe difficult thing about being Others-Oriented is that you may struggle with giving voice to (or even admitting) the things that bother you. You also may have difficulty knowing what you want or need out of a dance community. Rather than feeling dissatisfied or underappreciated, you're more likely to feel like you're not giving enough to be worthy of your status - or simply burned out without being able to understand why.Out of BalanceOut-of-balance Others-Oriented dancers fall into two broad categories: the Burnout and the At-Risk. Read more on The Dancing Grapevine's article.The Good
You rarely find a partner's bad habits difficult to manage; after all, they're trying!
You rarely experience jealousy of others, and find it easy to admire great dancers
You rarely criticize other dancers' technique, attitude, knowledge, or other attributes
You really don't have many complaints about the dance community, and those you do have are about how it's hurting others - not you
Your memories of events feature others' accomplishments or achievements more than your own (if they had a good event, you had a good event)
Your eye is immediately drawn to people who look like they need cheering up or that are on the sidelines
You find it easier to focus on giving your partner a good time than having a good time yourself
Feeling useful to the community is important to you
Saying "no" is very difficult, and you give people the benefit of the doubt if they cross your boundaries. They probably didn't mean to make you uncomfortable!
If you feel like an event didn't go well, you often struggle to understand "why" outside of a general sense of not feeling connected
It's unfathomable to ask for a refund or make a complaint, even where others would think it warranted. Everyone's doing the best they can!
If you feel bad about yourself in dance it's usually because you feel you're not giving enough, or just feel very, very tired without explanation.
The GoodThe wonderful thing about being a balanced Self-Oriented is that you know you're in dance because you want to be there and gain enjoyment from it. You also are likely more willing to leave it if it stops serving you in that way. You're likely more aware of what make you happy and unhappy. You are more likely to really commit to training and self-improvement, in order to meet that need that you have to be good at what you do and to improve. The opinions of your partners and mentors of your abilities likely mean a lot to you.The DifficultThe difficult thing about being Self-Oriented is that you might find yourself to be hypercritical of others - and yourself. While you're good at knowing what you want, you're also good at knowing what you don't want (even if you don't admit it), and may struggle with the patience to tolerate those things. You may also need frequent reassurance about your skills and worth within the community to feel a sense of belonging.Out of BalanceOut-of-balance Self-Oriented dancers fall into two broad categories: the Selfish and the Paradox. Read more on The Dancing Grapevine's article.The Good
You are able to identify what it is about dance that you like (even if you feel bad admitting it)
Your desires are able to motivate you towards achieving goals
You are more likely to be able to recognize your boundaries - and work towards establishing effective ones
You are able to identify when things go wrong - and what it was that bothered you about it
Your memories of events feature your highlights and accomplishments
Your eye is immediately drawn to people that look like a fun partner
You find it easier to focus on what makes a dance good or bad for you - and you usually only experience partner anxiety when it's a partner you want to impress or that you hope likes you
Feeling like the community meets your needs is important to you
Jealousy and comparison are often real problems for you
You know you can be critical - or even hypercritical - of others and/or yourself
You may inadvertently hurt someone or leave them out
You might get a reputation for being cliquey or selfish just because you are meeting your needs