W.H.E.R.E are you at? Assessment

Image Source

Quiz Questions

1.
1. Select the statement that currently resonates with you
Image Source
- A.
  I kind of have an idea of what happened
- B.
  I cannot really articulate my abuse
- C.
  I have not shared my abuse narrative by connecting emotion with my words
- D.
  I do not have solid strategies, tools when triggered by memories, flashbacks
2.
2. Select the statement that currently resonates with you
Image Source
- A.
  I know that I was abused that’s about it
- B.
  I have no idea of the level of the sexual trauma I endured
- C.
  I wish I could share my story in a safe supportive place
- D.
  I am aware of the life dysfunction the abuse caused but have no way to deal
3.
3. Select the statement that currently resonates with you
Image Source
- A.
  I’m being triggered by something, but I can’t identify it
- B.
  I cannot explain the difference of experiencing flashback or a dissociation moment
- C.
  I have not told my story to the people who love me
- D.
  I feel unable to relate to individuals with same or opposite gender of my abuser
4.
4. Select the statement that currently resonates with you
Image Source
- A.
  My memories of the abuse seem fuzzy
- B.
  I do not know which parts of my abuse narrative are fragmented
- C.
  I have not shared the name(s) of my perpetrator
- D.
  I use some type of distractor (porn, alcohol, drugs, gym rat, workaholic, etc) to numb
5.
5. Select the statement that currently resonates with you
Image Source
- A.
  I am experiencing sexual intimacy issues relating to my sexual trauma (premature, erectile, no libido, hypersexuality, asexual,)
- B.
  I cannot openly admit to others that I am a survivor of sexual abuse
- C.
  I cannot define my feelings surrounding my abuse
- D.
  I experience extreme anxiety or panic attacks, but don’t know why
6.
6. Select the statement that currently resonates with you
Image Source
- A.
  I am aware that I have trouble establishing boundaries in relationships
- B.
  I do not have meaningful relationships with other male survivors
- C.
  I feel guilt or shame because I experienced pleasure during the abuse
- D.
  I do not understand how emotional resonance from the abuse plays out in my daily life
7.
7. Select the statement that currently resonates with you
Image Source
- A.
  I find myself making excuses for my abuse, the perpetrator or I try to rationalize
- B.
  Silence surrounds my abuse narrative
- C.
  I am a high-functioning individual, there is no way the abuse still affects me
- D.
  I cannot articulate my abuse narrative with personal terms I have selected
8.
8. Select the statement that currently resonates with you
Image Source
- A.
  I have not idea what trauma type I experienced
- B.
  Feelings of extreme anger or inexplicable rage are very common. I feel overwhelmed with shock, guilt, shame, depression, anxiety, agitation, etc
- C.
  I am aware how the limiting beliefs caused by the abuse affect me daily, but can’t manage them
- D.
  I have this inkling that it’s my fault, although logically I know that not so.
9.
9. Select the statement that currently resonates with you
Image Source
- A.
  I experience low self-esteem, self-critical, inability to trust, bully others, indecisive decision-making, orientation confusion,
- B.
  I hide the fact or reality that sexual abuse may have occurred
- C.
  I minimize and sanitize your abuse story when sharing with others
- D.
  I do not understand how the abuse connects with my current issues
10.
10. Select the statement that currently resonates with you
Image Source
- A.
  I am confused and shocked this happened to me
- B.
  I cannot say the words, “I am a sexual abuse....” openly and comfortably
- C.
  I simply think away, avoid, numb, use fantasy, withdraw, whatever to avoid my feelings.
- D.
  I find myself slipping in and out of denial that sexual abuse happened to me

Quiz Outcomes

1.
Acknowledge Phase
Image Source
This phase can feel confusing, daunting and relentless. I like to think of it as the disoriented calm before the storm. I have coached numerous workshops where survivors are frustrated to the point of depression because they have not acknowledged the realness of the betrayal and hurt when being forced, coerced, groomed into unwanted sexual experiences. For others, they feel they don't have enough memories, only feelings perhaps an inkling that something happened, but not certain. Or inexplicable actions like not being allowed to visit or see a person in the family, after something happened, which no one talks about and no explanationIn the "Break My Abuse Code" program this is the first phase that most guys who are new to this begin their journey. Acknowledgement helps you accept where you are and recognize your truth and what you need to do to improve. As long as you push aside the truth, you are fundamentally at war with yourself. Suppressing core feelings is psychologically taxing and physically exhausting. When you get to the next phase "Define" you will be so glad of what you learned in the acknowledge phaseYour score or percentage in this phase simply is an indicator of the amount of attention or energy currently given or needed in this area. If it's higher than other phases, something inside of you is saying, "We need to work on this one more!"Are You Ready to Make That Change?
2.
Define Phase
Image Source
Defining the unwanted sexual experience is key to healing. When survivors cannot claim clear parameters or voice with some level of clarity what occurred, it stifles and slows the journey. This phase encourages you to assign terms, emotions and feelings to what happened. It this portion of your recovery one-dimension is a curse. Your definitions much be flexible and fluid. Were you molested, raped, penetrated, fondled, abused, coerced? Each definition carries an emotional energy that can assist or hinder your recovery. What are the 4F's of your unwanted sexual experiences or abuse? How do they play into the dysfunctional defensive mechanisms and coping strategies you have learned? Most individuals when finishing this phase not only have a clearer understanding, but are finally able to move forward empowered to the next stage of disclosing. Your score or percentage in this phase simply is an indicator of the amount of attention or energy currently given or needed in this area. If it's higher than other phases, something inside of you is saying, "We need to work on this one more!"
3.
Disclose Phase
Image Source
What is your definition of disclosure? Many survivors assume that disclosure is simply saying, " I was sexually abused", if only it were so easy. Disclosing is more than just sharing your sexual abuse narrative. Actually starts with acknowledge. When disclosing you connect and express with the truth of your abuse. Connecting can be quite scary for many survivors. Instead of connecting we unintentionally dissociate, creating more pain and frustration. We often achieve this by minimizing and sanitizing parts of our abuse narrative. Guilt and shame overshadow and we still feel incomplete, like we are hiding the secret. One client that I've coached remarked during the workshop, how he greatly benefited from our disclosure process during the 3-day retreat. Here many experience the confidence and are given the permission needed to bench press the 600 pound weight of betrayal, guilt and shame from their life. Your score here may express a need or desire to express your truth concerning the sexual abuse in a place of acceptance, justice, support, and relatedness. Your score or percentage in this phase simply is an indicator of the amount of attention or energy currently given or needed in this area. If it's higher than other phases, something inside of you is saying, "We need to work on this one more!"
4.
Managing Issues Phase
Image Source
"There is nothing like the support of other men who understand what you're going through while also having tools and strategies to work the issues." - Mark S.This is the phase that survivors in the program cannot wait to get to "tackling issues and taking actions" to manage the underlying dysfunctional behaviors, limiting beliefs, pain, frustration, etc that creates havoc in their life. Whether it's building self-esteem, eradicating porn, starting to feel comfortable in your own skin, creating healthy boundaries, redefining intimacy, regaining motivation, drive and performance, or building better relationships. This is where much of the final heavy lifting takes place. Here you delve into the framework produced in the first three phases. This is the place of substantial transformation forged by intense commitment, hard work, dedication and openness. A place where you fall, fail, tweak, learn, and get back up. If you have watched any of the videos on the website you have witnessed men being transformed as they learn to manage and even eradicate various issues. Your score or percentage in this phase simply is an indicator of the amount of attention or energy currently given or needed in this area. If it's higher than other phases, something inside of you is saying, "We need to work on this one more!"

W.H.E.R.E are you at? Assessment

Set yourself up for success by learning -W.H.E.R.E you are at! — no worries if you don’t have the answers, you will soon!

Quiz Questions

Quiz Outcomes