Am I a Narcissist?

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  How many people have told you you're a narcissist?

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  • A.
    Nobody. I'm just worried about it because I hear about narcissism a lot.
  • B.
    A couple of my exes have told me I am, and I don't want to believe them...but thought I better check it out.
  • C.
    Every time a friendship or relationship ends, someone accuses me of being a narcissist, even though I think THEY are.
• 2.
  When someone you know gets a new luxury or leisure item, how do you feel?

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  • A.
    I'm happy for them because everyone deserves to treat themselves sometimes!
  • B.
    I get a little pang of jealousy because they seem more successful than me.
  • C.
    It makes me think I deserve nice things, too, maybe even more than they do.
• 3.
  Which of the following fill-in-the-blank statements do you agree with most:    "_______ is more important than ________." 

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  • A.
    Collaboration; competition
  • B.
    Winning; making friends
  • C.
    Protection; vulnerability
• 4.
  Why do you want to know if you're a narcissist? 

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  • A.
    I like who I am, but other people keeping bugging me about being one.
  • B.
    Sometimes I feel self-centered and want to learn if I can stop being that way.
  • C.
    My partner acts like a narcissist, and I wanted to know if I'm one too.
• 5.
  What do you think "being a narcissist" feels like?

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  • A.
    I think it feels like being confident about what I'm good at.
  • B.
    I think it feels like wanting to be the best.
  • C.
    I think it feels crappy because it hurts other people.
• 6.
  You lose (a promotion, an opportunity, a relationship) to someone who is less qualified than you. How do you react?

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  • A.
    I get angry at everyone involved for negatively impacting what should have been mine.
  • B.
    I try to learn from the experience and figure out what I can do differently next time.
  • C.
    I take some time and space and think about what that other person had that I didn't.
• 7.
  How much of a narcissist do you think you are?

  • A.
    I'm probably not a narcissist.
  • B.
    Almost everyone in my life has called me a narcissist, but I can point to a lot of reasons why I am not.
  • C.
    I have some confidence in myself, but I'm not sure that's narcissism.
  • D.
    I know I can be arrogant and demanding, so there's a chance I might be a narcissist.
• 8.
  If this quiz indicates that you might be a narcissist, what will you do?

  • A.
    I will laugh and chalk it up to it being another dumb quiz.
  • B.
    I'll be petrified that there's something wrong with me and not tell anyone.
  • C.
    I'll seek out a therapist or psychiatrist to help me figure out if I really am a narcissist.

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  Congratulations! You're not (or probably not) a narcissist!

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  Your quiz answers indicate that you have very few, if any, narcissistic traits.When a person has insight into how they're perceived and is able to process negative feedback in a healthy way, they aren't a narcissist. Luckily, it sounds like that's YOU! The traits you may be worried about (confidence or arrogance, possibly) occur in people who are sure of themselves, too, not just narcissists.If you're only hearing that you're a narcissist from one person or in one place, that means that you don't show up like a narcissist in all areas of your life. That's one way we know you aren't a narcissist. Narcissists can't change how they fundamentally are, so they get that feedback in more than one area of their lives.If you're able to be happy for someone who did better than you (or at least not be angry at them) and/or able to reflect on what you could do differently, you probably aren't a narcissist. The key here is to be able to reflect and not harbor ill feelings toward someone who beat you at something.Here's something interesting, though...If you're taking this quiz because someone told you you're a narcissist, there's a high likelihood they may have some of the traits they accuse you of having. What should you do about that?1. Learn more about narcissism and the impacts it can have on your life. There are a lot of resources out there that can give you information about narcissism. Depending on the type of relationship you have with this person, the impact may be very little, or it may be really devastating.2. Learn more about yourself. If you're someone who has been in one or more high conflict relationships, it might be helpful for you to learn more about your own personality, values, and insecurities to see if there's a way to stop having those types of relationships.3. Maybe nothing! If you were just curious about yourself and wondered if you were a narcissist (and now know you most likely aren't!), you don't have to do much of anything. Even if the person who called you a narcissist may be one themselves, having the information is sometimes enough.Hi👋, I’m Jenni McBride McNamara!I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, as well as a Coach, author, and speaker. As a thought leader in the field of high conflict relationships, I've developed a program for people in high conflict relationships (with more than just narcissists!), called:High Conflict Relationships: Rescue, Recovery, and RestorationThis course is for those of you who have found yourself in a relationship with a lot of conflict (or a lot of trying to avoid conflict!) and who are searching for a way to do that relationship differently or to feel better. (By the way, these high conflict relationships can be with anyone -- a partner, ex-partner, family member, friend, or even a neighbor, coworker, or boss!)If you're in need of support to help you with your high conflict relationship, I can help either through the course or through coaching sessions. I'm also licensed to practice therapy in Minnesota, so if you're within the border of this great north state, I can provide ongoing therapeutic support!Looking for some quick resources to help you learn more?1. Check out my offerings. On this website, you can see a bunch of options for you! https://jennimcbridemcnamara.comYou can also check out my YouTube channel:The YouTube of Jenni2. Find a local therapist with experience in high conflict relationships or personality disorders who can help you where you live. If you'd like an ongoing therapy relationship with someone in your state, check out the Psychology Today Therapist Search and search for someone who specializes in what you need. You'll be able to look for therapists in your area.3. Hop on a free 15-minute call with me! If you're not sure where to begin, let's talk for a few minutes and I can help steer you to where you should start on your journey. And be sure to check your inbox, because I’ll be sending you various blog posts and updates, as well as all sorts of other valuable resources! I'm super anti-spam, though, so you'll only get something occasionally or if you ask for it. You can stop emails at any time and for any reason!
• 2.
  You're most likely NOT a narcissist, but let's talk...

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  You don't seem to have some of the big signs of narcissism, but you're describing things that might be a problem for you in relationships.You may find that sometimes people mistake your personality traits for someone who's a narcissist. That might not feel great at all! But let's look at a few things...If you're getting messages from people that they'd like you to pay more attention, have more curiosity or concern for them, or show up differently in the relationship, you'll want to pay attention to those things. For narcissism to be present, it has to show up in many areas of your life, not just in one relationship. Know this: lack of investment in a relationship doesn't equal narcissism.Reflect carefully on how you feel in your relationships. Do you feel like you aren't connected very well? Do you feel like no one "gets" you? Do you feel like you've tried a lot of things and nothing's worked to get the relationships back on track? If so, you may want to do a few things to help yourself...If you're in this in-between space of "maybe I AM a narcissist", here are a few suggestions:1. Learn more about narcissism and the impacts it can have on your life. There are a lot of resources out there that can give you information about narcissism. Depending on the type of feedback you get from people, you may want to learn more about narcissism and its two hallmark characteristics: lack of empathy and entitlement. Do you behave in those ways? If so, why?2. Learn more about yourself. If you're someone who has been in one or more high conflict relationships, it might be helpful for you to learn more about your own personality, values, and insecurities to see if there's a pattern that is more about you than the other person. Do you find it hard to connect with people and so they think you don't care? Do you have a history of trauma or neglect that makes it hard to emotionally fit in? 3. Check things out with a therapist. The best way to find out for sure if you have narcissistic traits is to have a therapist assess that for you. It doesn't have to be a diagnosis--it can just be talking with the therapist, sharing what you know about your relationship patterns, and asking them to assess you for narcissism. One good note: If you decide to talk with a therapist about being narcissistic, the chances are high that you don't have a lot of the traits after all! People with many narcissistic traits usually won't seek a therapist's opinion about their behavior because it's too vulnerable.Hi👋, I’m Jenni McBride McNamara!I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, as well as a Coach, author, and speaker. As a thought leader in the field of high conflict relationships, I've developed a program for people in high conflict relationships of any kind called:High Conflict Relationships: Rescue, Recovery, and RestorationThis course is for those of you who have found yourself in a relationship with a lot of conflict (or a lot of trying to avoid conflict!) and who are searching for a way to do that relationship differently or to feel better. (By the way, these high conflict relationships can be with anyone -- a partner, ex-partner, family member, friend, or even a neighbor, coworker, or boss!)If you're in need of support to help you with your high conflict relationship, I can help either through the course or through coaching sessions. I'm also licensed to practice therapy in Minnesota, so if you're within the border of this great north state, I can provide ongoing therapeutic support!Looking for some quick resources to help you learn more?1. Check out my offerings. On this website, you can see a bunch of options for you! https://jennimcbridemcnamara.comYou can also check out my YouTube channel:The YouTube of Jenni2. Find a local therapist with experience in high conflict relationships or personality disorders who can help you where you live. If you'd like an ongoing therapy relationship with someone in your state, check out the Psychology Today Therapist Search and search for someone who specializes in what you need. You'll be able to look for therapists in your area.3. Hop on a free 15-minute call with me! If you're not sure where to begin, let's talk for a few minutes and I can help steer you to where you should start on your journey. And be sure to check your inbox, because I’ll be sending you various blog posts and updates, as well as all sorts of other valuable resources! I'm super anti-spam, though, so you'll only get something occasionally or if you ask for it. You can stop emails at any time and for any reason!
• 3.
  You might have some narcissistic traits we should explore...

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  You’re ambitious, confident, and capable. You might also find that you don't have a lot of patience for other people who aren't that same way.You may have gotten this score because it's sometimes hard to see our own role in difficult relationships. Question for you...how often does someone tell you you're a narcissist? Has it been more than one person? Have you had trouble at work, either keeping jobs or getting along with coworkers?When someone has a score like yours, we start to wonder why other people react to you in negative ways. Sure, it could be that you've had a run of bad luck in love, bosses, friends, and family members. It could also be that there's something in how you show up that concerns other people or makes them upset with you.So now you have a choice. Do you close out this dumb quiz, chalk up your results to poor analytics, oddly-phrased questions, or the idiocy of the quiz writer? Or, do you take a second to reflect on what might be true from other people's perspectives and then take steps to learn more? I'll tell you that there is more challenge and opportunity in the second option.Here are some things to think about before closing this quiz:1. Having narcissistic traits does not necessarily mean you're a narcissist. What we know about narcissistic traits is that they develop in the intersection of nature and nurture. Sometimes people with these traits are actually survivors of trauma that has led to protective behaviors that look a lot like narcissism. They also show up in a lot of different types of relationships, not just romantic ones.2. Narcissistic traits can be managed. There are questions you can ask yourself that will help you manage the traits that other people are noticing. For instance, you can ask yourself, "How will my response to this person help or hurt the relationship?" You might also ask yourself, "Have I been curious about this person today?" You get to decide what's more important to you: Protecting yourself with perceived narcissistic behaviors OR connecting differently with people who are important to you.3. One quiz isn't going to be your definitive answer. This quiz is just a starting point. To learn more about yourself and where your thoughts and behaviors originated (and what to do about them if they're problematic), you can schedule with a therapist and ask the question, "Can you help me figure out if I'm a narcissist?" (Hopefully they say yes.) Then you can get information straight from a professional who has gotten to know you a little bit. Hi👋, I’m Jenni McBride McNamara!I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, as well as a Coach, author, and speaker. As a thought leader in the field of high conflict relationships, I've developed a program for people in high conflict relationships of any kind called:High Conflict Relationships: Rescue, Recovery, and RestorationThis course is for those of you who have found yourself in a relationship with a lot of conflict (or a lot of trying to avoid conflict!) and who are searching for a way to do that relationship differently or to feel better. (By the way, these high conflict relationships or situations can be with anyone -- a partner, ex-partner, family member, friend, or even a neighbor, coworker, or boss!)If you're in need of support to help you with your high conflict relationship, I can help either through the course or through coaching sessions. I'm also licensed to practice therapy in Minnesota, so if you're within the border of this great north state, I can provide ongoing therapeutic support!Looking for some quick resources to help you learn more?1. Check out my offerings. On this website, you can see a bunch of options for you! https://jennimcbridemcnamara.comYou can also check out my YouTube channel:The YouTube of Jenni2. Find a local therapist with experience in high conflict relationships or personality disorders who can help you where you live. If you'd like an ongoing therapy relationship with someone in your state, check out the Psychology Today Therapist Search and search for someone who specializes in what you need. You'll be able to look for therapists in your area.3. Hop on a free 15-minute call with me! If you're not sure where to begin, let's talk for a few minutes and I can help steer you to where you should start on your journey. And be sure to check your inbox, because I’ll be sending you various blog posts and updates, as well as all sorts of other valuable resources! I'm super anti-spam, though, so you'll only get something occasionally or if you ask for it. You can stop emails at any time and for any reason!