What Friendship Culture Do You Create?

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Quiz Questions

1.
How comfortable are you with calling a friend out of the blue just to see how they are doing?

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- A.
  
  Eek, super awkward.
- B.
  
  I’m comfortable with it but I don’t always make the time to do it.
- C.
  
  I’m very comfortable with that, but I can take over the conversation with all my feelings.
- D.
  
  I’m not very comfortable with it but I do it to be a good friend.
- E.
  
  Honestly, I’d rather go do something fun together than talk on the phone.
2.
What is one of the biggest fears that can stop you from being vulnerable with your friends?

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- A.
  
  Fear of overwhelming people
- B.
  
  Fear of rejection
- C.
  
  Fear of getting hurt
- D.
  
  Fear of being misunderstood
- E.
  
  Fear of facing my own emotions
3.
How comfortable are you asking friends for advice or help when you don’t know what to do?

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- A.
  
  I wouldn’t want to bother them, even when I want their help.
- B.
  
  Ugh hate that! I would rather try to figure it out myself.
- C.
  
  Lol, I don’t even have to ask, my issues just spill out.
- D.
  
  I don’t mind asking certain people, but there are few people I trust over my own judgment.
- E.
  
  Sure, why not?
4.
When someone asks for my help, I…

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- A.
  
  Feel honored they would think of me.
- B.
  
  Will do what they ask, and want to do it perfectly.
- C.
  
  Will totally be there if they have helped me in the past. If not… it’s unlikely.
- D.
  
  Get stressed out and think of a million reasons why I won’t be able to.
- E.
  
  Will help if it’s not too inconvenient.
5.
This week, one of my biggest challenges in my relationship with God has been...

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- A.
  
  Letting go of guilt.
- B.
  
  Making time to read the Bible and pray.
- C.
  
  Listening to him over my emotions.
- D.
  
  Trusting him to have my back.
- E.
  
  Being honest about what I really think and feel.
6.
A friend of yours is going through a really painful time. How are you most likely to respond?

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- A.
  
  Feel a lot for them but not take action because you’re not sure what to do.
- B.
  
  Try to find things you can do to serve them.
- C.
  
  Bring over ice cream and tissues and help them express what they feel.
- D.
  
  Help them come up with a plan, including a list of solutions that you feel would really help them.
- E.
  
  Go over to watch a movie or help them distract themselves.
7.
What is your favorite relationship quality of God’s?

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- A.
  
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  He doesn’t hold my mistakes against me.
- B.
  
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  He sees for what I can become and not just for what I can give.
- C.
  
  He embraces every part of me—mess and all.
- D.
  
  He wants to relieve my stress, and can be trusted.
- E.
  
  He’s interested in what I’m interested in and wants to know what I like and don’t like.
8.
What do you think you are good at bringing into a friendship?

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- A.
  
  Listening and understanding
- B.
  
  Wholeheartedness
- C.
  
  Honesty
- D.
  
  Vision
- E.
  
  Initiating connection
9.
Which of the following would your friends express they feel from you?

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- A.
  
  They wish you called or reached out more.
- B.
  
  You seem like you have it all together. They want to know the real and messy you.
- C.
  
  They feel like there’s not much room for them and what they feel in the relationship.
- D.
  
  You stress them out and sometimes you come across a little too intense.
- E.
  
  You joke around a lot, but they don’t know what’s really going on with you.
10.
Which scripture do you think would transform your relationships most this week?

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- A.
  
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  Hebrews 10:25 NLT And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.
- B.
  
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  2 Corinthians 6:11-13 NLT Oh, dear Corinthian friends! We have spoken honestly with you, and our hearts are open to you. There is no lack of love on our part, but you have withheld your love from us. I am asking you to respond as if you were my own children. Open your hearts to us!
- C.
  
  Proverbs 17:9 NLT Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.
- D.
  
  1 Peter 5:1 MSG Here's my concern: that you care for God's flock with all the diligence of a shepherd. Not because you have to, but because you want to please God. Not calculating what you can get out of it, but acting spontaneously. Not bossily telling others what to do, but tenderly showing them the way.
- E.
  
  1 Samuel 18:1 AMP When David had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was bonded to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself.
11.
What’s one thing you could do this week that would change the culture of your relationships?

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- A.
  
  Tell a friend something they need to hear to help them grow.
- B.
  
  In the moments I’m having a hard time, call a friend to let down rather than tough it out.
- C.
  
  Let go of the past.
- D.
  
  Connect with someone without an agenda.
- E.
  
  Ask a friend how they are doing and really listen.

Quiz Outcomes

1.

Bruno: From a “Go It Alone” Culture to an “I Got Your Back” Culture

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Bruno was very loyal to his family and had a lot of insights into their lives that they didn't see in themselves. But in his fear of messing up, he isolated himself from those he cared about. If you got this result, you might have a hard time putting yourself out there. Maybe you see a friend stuck or having a hard time, but are too afraid to speak up. Maybe you're worried about overwhelming or bothering people with your problems. This creates a culture of isolation rather than vulnerability and honesty.God didn't intend for anyone to go it alone. You actually have a lot to contribute to those around you, but you have to put yourself out there to do it.Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NLTTwo people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. [10] If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. [11] Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? [12] A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.When you reach out, not only do you get the help you need, but you can give the help your friends need from you. Take some time this week to reach out to a friend so you can create a culture of helping each other be better together!Further study:Better Together: 5 Qualities of Spiritual FriendshipsWhy Do I Prefer Isolation to Intimacy?
2.

Luisa and Isabela: From an “I Got This” Culture to a “Let’s Do This” Culture

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If you got this result, you might have a hard time expressing who you really are to your friends, especially any weaknesses or insecurities. This may come out in one of two ways: Maybe like Luisa, you’re great at getting things done and tend to tough things out without slowing down to let your friends know how you’re really doing and what you need. Or maybe, like Isabela, you try to seem happy and put together, painting a picture-perfect version of yourself, but no one knows the real you. Either way, this creates a culture of pride and independence rather than humility. When you’re constantly trying to prove yourself or get people’s approval, there’s no room for closeness or connection.1 Corinthians 12:20-22,25-26 NLTYes, there are many parts, but only one body. [21] The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.” [22] In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. [25] This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. [26] If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.God put you in the lives of your friends not only so you could help them, but so they can help you. Your weaknesses are just as important as your strengths, and when you create a culture of expressing need and a willingness to learn, you can grow to become who you’re meant to be together. Take some time this week to pray through the things you are afraid to express, and decide to ask a friend for help!Further study:Why Humility Makes You a More Loving FriendThe Necessity of Failing and the Joy of Moving Forward
3.

Pepa: From a “Perfect Storm” Culture to a “Let-It-Go” Culture

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Pepa wore her heart on her sleeve. In all of her emotions, those around her often got caught up in the storm. If this is you, you may be great at expressing what you feel, but sometimes those feelings take over a little too much. This creates a culture in which you tend to hold on to past wrongs and the hurt feelings they caused you. In relationships, you might become more focused on making sure people know they’ve hurt you than on who you can become together. Ephesians 4:14-16 VoiceThen we will no longer be like children, tossed around here and there upon ocean waves, picked up by every gust of religious teaching spoken by liars or swindlers or deceivers. [15] Instead, by truth spoken in love, we are to grow in every way into Him—the Anointed One, the head. He joins and holds together the whole body with its ligaments providing the support needed so each part works to its proper design to form a healthy, growing, and mature body that builds itself up in love.Learning to give your emotions to God will help you create a culture that builds itself up in love, instead of tearing itself down with bitterness and emotionalism. This week, use some scriptures to help you quiet the storm of your emotions so you can create a culture of forgiveness and embracing each other’s flaws and weaknesses.Further study:Faith Over Feelings: How to Trust God More Than My EmotionsHow the Inspirational People We Admire Handle Their Emotions
4.

Abuela: From a “Commander-in-Chief” Culture to a “Connector” Culture

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Abuela cared deeply about her family and wanted what was best for them, but her fear took over. This created a culture of control, where everyone felt that they had to do what she thought was best or they’d be in the wrong. If you’re like Abuela, you might be someone who is very strong in your focus and vision for those around you, but has a hard time letting go of control. This may make it hard for you to relax and connect with friends without any sort of agenda or plan. But God wants our relationships to be ones that encourage and refresh us.Proverbs 16:1,3 TPTGo ahead and make all the plans you want, but it’s the Lord who will ultimately direct your steps. [3] Before you do anything, put your trust totally in God and not in yourself. Then every plan you make will succeed.2 Corinthians 1:24 NLTBut that does not mean we want to dominate you by telling you how to put your faith into practice. We want to work together with you so you will be full of joy, for it is by your own faith that you stand firm.Creating a culture of spiritual friendship requires letting go and trusting God is in control. When you do this, you are freed up to connect with and let down with your friends. This week, pray through the fears you have and choose to trust God with them. Then, spend some time with friends just for fun!Further study:Trust The Process: How God Prepares Us For Our DestinyTrusting God and Letting Go of Control
5.

Camilo: From an “I Feel Good” Culture to an “I Feel Close” Culture

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Camilo was great at bringing people together and making them laugh. There was no person that he wasn’t capable of pulling in or connecting with, but the connection often stopped at a superficial level. If you’re like Camilo, you probably love having fun and are great at it. But when you stay superficial and don’t go deep in relationships, you create a culture that may look connected on the surface but lacks depth and closeness. God wants us to enjoy spending time together, and wants us to be friends that push each other to grow, too.Proverbs 27:17 AMPAs iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens [and influences] another [through discussion].Hebrews 3:12-13 TPTSo search your hearts every day, my brothers and sisters, and make sure that none of you has evil or unbelief hiding within you. For it will lead you astray, and make you unresponsive to the living God. [13] This is the time to encourage each other to never be stubborn or hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.When you search your own heart each day with God, you will have the depth and clarity to do the same with friends. Being willing to have conversations and discussions that are sharpening and challenging will lead to a culture of friends who are truly close and make each other better. Take some time this week to go past the surface with your friends, and decide to challenge each other to grow.Further study:5 Ways to Deepen Our Faith to Make a DifferenceLoyal, Deep, and Spiritual: Building Friendships That Last a Lifetime