How do you reflect God in your personality?

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  Are you generally more Competitive or Cooperative?

  • A.
    A. Very Competitive. (Not cooperative, really)
  • B.
    B. Fairly Competitive
  • C.
    C. Slightly More Competitive than Cooperative
  • D.
    D. Slightly More Cooperative than Competitive
  • E.
    E. Fairly Cooperative
  • F.
    F. Very Cooperative (Not competitive at all)
• 2.
  Are you more of a planner or do you prefer to "go with the flow"?

  • A.
    A. Definitely a Planner.
  • B.
    B. I prefer to plan things, but can be flexible on occasion
  • C.
    C. Typically like to plan things, but am flexible
  • D.
    D. Typically a "Go with the Flow" but occasionally plan
  • E.
    E. More of a "Go with the Flow" type. Will plan only if necessary
  • F.
    F. "Go with the Flow." I don't plan for anything
• 3.
  Are you more CONCRETE (literal, facts, focus on what you can see, touch, smell, etc.) or ABSTRACT (focus on non-physical - feelings, philosophical, etc. in your thinking?

  • A.
    A. Definitely Concrete. Very literal and fact-based and don;t understand abstract things
  • B.
    B. Mostly Concrete. Am literal and have some Abstract thinking.
  • C.
    C. Am typically concrete in my thinking, but can be pretty abstract in certain roles.
  • D.
    D. Am typically Abstract in my thinking, but can be pretty Concrete in certain roles.
  • E.
    E. Am mostly Abstract, but occasionally concrete with a few issues.
  • F.
    F. I am Definitely Abstract. I have a very difficult time with anything concrete.
• 4.
  When making decisions, where do you prioritize facts and feelings?

  • A.
    A. Just the Facts! Feelings are irrelevant.
  • B.
    B. Most of my decisions are based on facts. Feelings can sometimes play a role.
  • C.
    C. Generally make decisions on facts, but recognize feelings are important and shouldn't be ignored.
  • D.
    D. Generally make decisions on feelings, but understand facts are important to focus on as well.
  • E.
    E. Most of my decisions are made because it feels like the right / best choice, but will not ignore facts.
  • F.
    F. I make decisions based on how I feel. Facts are irrelevant.
• 5.
  Are you more of a perfectionist or more carefree?

  • A.
    A. Perfectionist in just about everything
  • B.
    B. Perfectionist in a lot of things, but not everything
  • C.
    C. Am a perfectionist in more things than I'm not
  • D.
    D. Generally a carefree person, but can be a perfectionist in some areas of my life
  • E.
    E. Mostly carefree. Can be a perfectionist in one or two areas
  • F.
    Carefree all the way!
• 6.
  Are you more of a Black & White Thinker (all or nothing) or think more "in the gray" (middle-ground)?

  • A.
    A. It's All or nothing! No middle-ground for me.
  • B.
    B. Mostly it is "all or nothing," but can occasionally think "gray"
  • C.
    C. More "All or nothing" than gray, but just by a little
  • D.
    D. More of a "gray" thinker, but can be pretty black & white in a number of areas
  • E.
    E. Mostly "gray" in my thinking, but occasionally can be "all or nothing"
  • F.
    F. Definitely "Gray" in my thinking. No "All or Nothing" in there
• 7.
  In your relationship with God and faith, do you focus more on God's Truth or on God's Love?

  • A.
    A. God's Truth is where I focus. Focusing on His Love is unnecessary
  • B.
    B. God's Truth takes priority over God's Love, but His Love is recognized as important
  • C.
    C. Generally lean more towards focusing on His Truth than His Love
  • D.
    D. Generally lean more on God's Love than focusing on His Truth
  • E.
    E. God's Love takes priority of God's Truth, but His Truth is recognized as important
  • F.
    F. I focus more on God's Love. Focusing on His Truth is unnecessary.
• 8.
  Do you generally focus more on God's Law or God's Grace?

  • A.
    A. God's Law. Grace people see it as a license to sin
  • B.
    B. Mostly God's Law and on obedience. Grace comes into play sometimes
  • C.
    C. Generally focus on God's Law more than grace, but see grace as important
  • D.
    D. Generally focus more on grace more than law, but see His law as important
  • E.
    E. Mostly focus on God's grace, but can occasionally see the importance of the law.
  • F.
    F. Grace!!! Those who focus on God's Law are legalistic
• 9.
  Do you tend to be more critical of people or give people the benefit of the doubt?

  • A.
    A. I'm very critical
  • B.
    B. I'm critical of people but will occasionally overlook things
  • C.
    C. I'm slightly more critical of others than complimentary.
  • D.
    D. I give more benefit of the doubt to others than am critical of them
  • E.
    E. I give benefit of the doubt much more often than I am critical of them
  • F.
    F. I am rarely, if ever, critical of people
• 10.
  Would you rather be "right" or would you rather "get along" with others?

  • A.
    A. I'd rather be right. Period.
  • B.
    B. I'd rather be right, but occasionally I'll give up that goal for the relationship's sake
  • C.
    C. I'd rather be right, but will often give that goal up for the relationship's sake
  • D.
    D. I choose to "get along" with others, but will fight for my views maybe half the time
  • E.
    I choose to "get along" with others most often, but will occasionally fight for my viewpoint
  • F.
    I choose to "get along" just about always. It's not worth the conflict
• 11.
  Considering emotions, do you find them as unimportant or more important in life?

  • A.
    A. Emotions are not important and irrelevant
  • B.
    C. Emotions are not too important, but should be considered sometimes
  • C.
    B. Emotions should be considered, but shouldn't be the basis for decisions
  • D.
    D. Emotions should be considered more often than naught in decisions
  • E.
    E. Emotions are Extremely important and ought to be the basis for making decisions
  • F.
    F. Emotions are pretty important and should be mainly considered for making decisions
• 12.
  Would you rather SUCCEED or would you rather BE LIKED?

  • A.
    A. I would rather succeed and not be liked
  • B.
    B. I would rather succeed, but would like to be liked by some
  • C.
    C. I would rather succeed, but being liked is important as well
  • D.
    D. I would rather be liked, but success is important to me
  • E.
    I would rather be liked, but some success is good
  • F.
    I would rather be liked. In fact, being liked is success.

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  You are a "Standard Processor"

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  Congrats, friend – by completing the "Designed2bMine Personality Inventory", you've made a big step towards building healthy relationships 🙌Based on your responses, you are a "Standard Processor." So what does that actually mean? Your answers to the questions demonstrate that you reflect God as He is revealed in the Old Testament in how you think, interpret, and process well, just about everything. Here's a description of your results:Standards:God is a law-giver and sets high standards for us. And what is that standard? Perfection. This aspect of God is one that you likely hold close to your heart. When you look at projects or performance, you likely expect perfection (or near perfection) from yourself and others. The quality of your work is very high, and you are likely commended for such work. Yet such high standards in relationships make others feel as though they don't measure up to your standards.Morals:The law-giving God defines what is right and wrong. Similarly, you see things as black and white. Right and wrong. Nuances of a situation and emotions are often deemed irrelevant. Chances are, you strongly desire to be right and may have trouble admitting any wrong or seeking forgiveness. Arguments can become about winning and being right than about listening or considering other's emotions and thoughts.Processes & Procedures:Our God is a God of Order. He carefully and thoughtfully planned out creation and His story throughout time. You reflect the part of God that focuses on processes and procedures - and it's likely your roles in your employment or at home reflect the importance of this. There's a "right way" to do even the little things, and chances are, you've let others know the "right way," too.Concrete Thinking:Our God created the physical world and the 5 senses to experience it. You focus on things that are seen, heard, touched, smelled, or tasted. This makes you more literal and logical and less bound by emotions. Facts, figures, fixes, and physical objects are your focus. Additionally, you pay more attention to people's physical actions than you do to any reasonings behind them. Abstract things such as emotions are likely uncomfortable and difficult to grasp.Faith:Truth. Justice. Holiness. Obedience. These are likely your core values when expressing faith. Grace is likely a difficult concept to grasp as it may be seen as more of a license to sin. Since you focus on behaviors, you may be critical of other Christians and can easily fall into the legalism trap. But for mature and humble believers, your loyalty to God's Truth can anchor the church.Weakness Areas:You may struggle in relationships due to a lack of empathy and understanding of emotions. Additionally, loved ones may feel as though they can't measure up to your standards, so they may feel that you are judging or criticizing them (and you may be!). If you are too hard on yourself, it may lead to depression. If you struggle too hard to measure up to your standard, it may lead to anxiety. If you overreact to someone pointing out your faults, you may be insecure. If pride reigns and you demand people follow your own made-up standards and become controlling, you may be abusive.These are areas that you would do well to address in your life if you want successful relationships.3 tips for building and keeping healthy relationships...1) Don't focus on being "right," be humbleWe all want to be right. We even joke that we'll write it on the calendar when our spouses admit it. But in the quest to be right, we can be dead wrong. In the quest to be right, we often can't admit we're wrong. Relationships aren't always about who wins arguments or who's right. It's about having a humble heart to do what is right for the relationship. Relationships will win only with humble hearts."I used to think that if I was on the side of RIGHT, then I was on God's side, and thus I had a clear conscience. But, now I see that Jesus brought GRACE and relationship, and I need to, too."- Book Review of The Black & White Thinking Christian2) Focus on feelings before factsRelationships get stuck when communication doesn't go deep. Since Standard Processors focus on facts and fixes, emotions are ignored, and others may feel devalued when their hearts are unheard. Before discussing any facts and possible fixes, re-order your process and focus on other's feelings first. In other words, get to the heart (desires, fears, feelings). Do your best to understand emotions without dismissing them BEFORE discussing any facts or fixes. Others need to know you value their hearts and are not simply trying to fix them.3) Understand & Apply Grace BetterThe common definition for Grace is "unmerited favor." I understand grace is a difficult concept, but it is necessary to grow in understanding and application of it. While you tend to focus on actions and measuring them to a standard, let your response be one of "unmerited favor." Regardless of what someone else does, show them you favor them regardless. Give them the benefit of the doubt without trying to criticize them or change them. There may be a time for correction, however, but let these times be in love and only after favor is shown.Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” Jn 8:10-11 Want to know more? Let me introduce myself...Hey there, and welcome – My name is Fred Jacoby, and I am the Founder of Foundations Christian Counseling Services. I'm also the author of The Black & White Thinking Christian, a husband for 30 years, and a father of 2 young men. I'm here to help you grow closer to your spouse and to God. I've created the Designed2bMine Personality Inventory to help us better understand how we reflect God, how we can improve our relationships, and to pave a pathway towards becoming more like Christ.Looking for a little extra guidance? Check out these 3 resources1) Purchase my book, The Black & White Thinking Christian. This book is my first work that hit home with many black-and-white thinking Christians. Used as a study, it's also helped a number of couples as well!2) Take my Online Marriage Course - Designed2bMine. If you need some marriage help and want an affordable option, take my online marriage course at www.designed2bmine.com. This is a 5-week digital course to restore and refresh your Christian Marriage.3) Follow me online. You can find me at www.fredjacoby.com or follow my author page on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/fredkjacoby 🙌
• 2.
  You are a "Standard - Relational Processor"

  Image Source

  Congrats, friend – by completing the "Designed2bMine Personality Inventory", you've made a big step towards building healthy relationships 🙌Based on your responses, you are a "Standard - Relational Processor." So what does that actually mean? Your answers to the questions demonstrate that you reflect God as He is revealed in the Old Testament in how you think, interpret, and process well, just about everything. However, you also have greater relational skills than Standard Processors. Here's a description of the Standard-Relational Processor:Standards:God is a law-giver and sets high standards for us. And what is that standard? Perfection. This aspect of God is one that you likely hold close to your heart. When you look at projects or performance, you likely expect perfection (or near perfection) from yourself and others. Your standards are fairly high, and you likely desire yourself and others to meet them. However, your approach towards others who miss the mark is often filled with a measure of grace (more so than a Standard Processor). You are likely respected at work for your accomplishments and projects, as your attention to detail is admirable.Right & Wrong:The law-giving God defines what is right and wrong. Similarly, you see things more as black and white. Right and wrong. While emotions are irrelevant to the Standard Processor, they are taken into consideration more by you. You likely want to be right and may struggle to admit any wrong or seek forgiveness, but you are likely to get there for the relationship's sake. Processes & Procedures:Our God is a God of Order. He carefully and thoughtfully planned out creation and His story throughout time. You reflect the part of God that focuses on planning, processes, and procedures - and it's likely your roles in your employment or at home reflect the importance of this. There's a "right way" to do even the little things, and chances are, you've let others know the "right way," too. You are organized in certain areas of your life. You are also more likely to be more flexible on the processes and procedures than the Standard Processor - especially if it keeps peace in the relationship.Concrete v. Abstract Thinking:Our God created the physical world and our 5 senses to experience it. You tend to focus more on things that are seen, heard, touched, smelled, or tasted. This makes you somewhat more literal and logical. Facts, figures, fixes, and physical objects are typically your focus. While you may pay more attention to people's physical actions, the reasonings behind the actions (abstract) are also considered. For some, abstract philosophies may also be interesting, but only through a logical lens. You are generally more open to understanding emotions than the Standard Processor.Faith:Truth. Justice. Holiness. Obedience. These are likely important values when expressing faith. Grace may be a difficult concept to grasp, but there is likely some understanding of it. You may tend to be critical of other Christians and yourself at first glance, but may work hard to avoid the legalism trap to apply grace. But for mature and humble believers, loyalty to God's Truth and a measure of God's Grace can be good for the church.Weakness Areas:You may struggle in relationships if you lack empathy and understanding of emotions. Additionally, loved ones may feel as though they can't measure up to your standards if they feel that you are judging or criticizing them (and you may be!). Yet that measure of grace inside of you likely keeps relationships moving forward and closer. If you are too hard on yourself, it may lead to depression. If you struggle too hard to measure up to your standard, it may lead to anxiety. If you overreact to someone pointing out your faults, you may be insecure. If pride reigns and you demand people follow certain standards, relationships will struggle.3 tips for building and keeping healthy relationships...1) Don't be "right," be humbleWe all want to be right. We even joke that we'll write it on the calendar when our spouses admit it. But in the quest to be right, we can be dead wrong. In the quest to be right, we often can't admit we're wrong. Relationships aren't always about who wins arguments or who's right. It's about having a humble heart to do what is right for the relationship and in the eyes of God. Relationships will win only with humble hearts."I used to think that if I was on the side of RIGHT, then I was on God's side, and thus I had a clear conscience. But, now I see that Jesus brought GRACE and relationship, and I need to as well." - Book Review of The Black & White Thinking Christian2) Focus on feelings before factsRelationships get stuck when communication doesn't go deep. Standard - Relational Processors tend to focus more on facts and fixes, but less so than Standard Processors alone. Emotions may be overlooked and others may feel devalued when their hearts are unheard. Before talking about facts and fixes, make sure you understand emotions and heart desires first. In other words, make sure getting to the heart (desires, fears, feelings) is your first priority. Do your best to understand emotions without dismissing them BEFORE talking about any facts or fixes. Others need to know you value their hearts and are not simply trying to fix them.3) Understand & Apply Grace BetterThe common definition for Grace is "unmerited favor." While you tend to focus on actions and measuring them to a standard, let your response be one of "unmerited favor." Regardless of what someone else does, show them you favor them regardless. Give them the benefit of the doubt without trying to criticize them or change them. There may be a time for correction, however, but let these times be in love and only after favor is shown.Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” Jn 8:10-11 Want to know more? Let me introduce myself...Hey there, and welcome – My name is Fred Jacoby and I am the Founder of Foundations Christian Counseling Services. I'm also the author of The Black & White Thinking Christian, a husband for 30 years, and a father of 2 young men. I'm here to help you grow closer to your spouse and towards God. I've created the Designed2bMine Personality Inventory to better help us understand how we reflect God, how we can improve in our relationships, and to pave a pathway towards becoming more like Christ.Looking for a little extra guidance? Check out these 3 resources1) Purchase my book, The Black & White Thinking Christian. This book is my first work that seemed to hit home with a lot of black & white thinking Christians. Used as a study, it's also helped a number of couples as well!2) Take my Online Marriage Course - Designed2bMine. If you need some marriage help and want an affordable option, take my online marriage course at www.designed2bmine.com. This is a 5-week Course to restore and refresh your Christian Marriage.3) Follow me online. You can find me at www.fredjacoby.com or follow my author page on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/fredkjacoby 🙌CLICK BELOW TO LEARN MORE ABOUT DESIGNED2bMINE MARRIAGE COURSE!
• 3.
  You are a "Relational-Standard" Processor

  Image Source

  Congrats, friend – by completing the "Designed2bMine Personality Inventory", you've made a big step towards building healthy relationships 🙌Based on your responses, you are a "Relational - Standard Processor." So what does that actually mean? Your answers to the questions demonstrate that you reflect God as He is revealed in the New Testament in how you think, interpret, and process well, just about everything. However, depending on your roles, you also have some Standard Processing as well. Here's a description of the Relational-Standard Processor:Relationship Focus:God is a relational God who desires closer and intimate relationships with us. This aspect of God is one that you likely hold close to the heart. The importance of relationships in your life holds more importance than whether or not they are perfect (like Standard Processors). Since relationships are important, you tend to overlook people's faults and choose peace over correction. In certain roles, however, you tend to become more of a Standard Processor in your approach. Whether at work, school, or as a parent, you may tend to focus more on performance and perfection (or some similar standard). Right & Wrong:The law-giving God defines what is right and wrong. Yet He is also one who chooses to forgive sin and continue in relationship. Similarly, the relationship takes priority for you as well. You will see some things as black and white. While emotions are irrelevant to the Standard Processor, they are largely taken into consideration more by you, which makes you more empathetic. While part of you wants to be right, you'd rather have peace in the relationship, so you might be more forgiving and willing to admit wrong for the relationships' sake. Processes & Procedures:While our God is a God of Order, you likely only reflect this part in a few areas. Otherwise you are more likely a "go with the flow" type of person who can be fairly flexible and move where the Spirit (or your feelings) take you. You are more likely to "go along to get along" simply for peace, and because you may not have a preference one way or the other. Other times you may push back on procedures wanting to do things simply the way you want.Concrete v. Abstract Thinking:God created both the physical world as well as the metaphysical (intellectual, emotional, philosophical/theological). You tend to focus more on things that are metaphysical. This means you pay more attention to the thoughts, emotions, and theoretical. In relationships, paying attention to these things remain of the utmost importance. You will not ignore facts and fixes, but will consider them in addition to emotions and motives. While Standard Processors focus more on people's actions, the reasons behind people's actions, as well as one's emotions, are considered highly. Faith:Love. Grace. Mercy. Forgiveness. These are likely important values when expressing faith. God's love and grace remain key themes in your walk with Him as these are relational terms. Since you are more relational, people will be more likely to come to you with struggles if you make yourself available to them. You will mostly avoid legalism, but you may struggle with the importance of holiness in your walk. It will be important to make sure that the focus on God's love and grace will not turn into a license to sin. But mature and humble believers ought to equally consider God's truth, holiness, and righteousness in their walk.Weakness Areas:While relationships generally go fairly well for you, you may have a tendency to give up things that you want in order to please others. Many people pleasers are Relational-Standard Processors because they place a peaceful relationship over personal wants. Giving grace to others is great; however, not speaking up about others' sins against you or about your own wants can bring you to the point of allowing others to walk over you. You still have some standards in certain areas of your life that drive you. If you struggle too hard to measure up to your standards, it may lead to stress and anxiety. If you are too hard on yourself for failing to measure up to your standards, it may lead to depression. Some also create relational laws or standards for others and expect them to measure up - criticizing them when they fall short. Additionally, if pride reigns, you will likely view your feelings as truth while diminishing the very truths of God. It will be important to balance God's love and grace with His call for us to be obedient and righteous.3 tips for building and keeping healthy relationships...1) Be HumbleThe reason why most relationships fail is due to the pride and self-centeredness of at least one person. Pride says, "I am right." "I am king (or queen), and you must do what I want." "I deserve (fill in the blank)." Pride is all about me and my wants. Humility, however, is open to learning, growing, and values the other person equally. Humility considers both people's interests. Humility is a godly quality that leads to great and lasting relationships.“God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.” Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time" 1 Pet 5:5-62) Speak UpRelational - Standard Processors (as well as Relational Processors) tend to be rather agreeable people who place relationships as a priority over most things. Many easily become people pleasers and avoid conflict in order to have a better relationship. Avoiding conflict and not speaking up for the things that you want or don't want, or speaking up against the sins done to you, will eventually lead to further destruction in relationships. Be assertive and speak up for yourself (in love)."Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ." Eph 4:153) Let Truth Be Your GuideFocusing on the metaphysical will mean that our emotions will often take the front seat in decision-making and our responses. It's important to recognize this and look to focus more on what is true rather than how you feel. Feelings will tend to take priority over truth, and for some, feelings become truth. Yet our feelings aren't always based on truth. Both are necessary to get a full picture. Let Truth guide your emotions rather than let your emotions guide the truth. Want to know more? Let me introduce myself...Hey there, and welcome – My name is Fred Jacoby and I am the Founder and Director of Foundations Christian Counseling Services. I'm also the author of The Black & White Thinking Christian, a husband for over 25 years, and a father of 2 young men. I'm here to help you grow closer to your spouse and towards God. I've created the Designed2bMine Personality Quiz to better help us understand how we reflect God, how we can improve in our relationships, and to pave a pathway towards becoming more like Christ.Looking for a little extra guidance? Check out these 3 resources1) Purchase my book, The Black-and-White Thinking Christian. This book is my first work that hit home with a number of black-and-white thinking Christians. Used as a study, it's also helped a number of couples as well!2) Take my Online Marriage Course - Designed2bMine. If you need some marriage help and want an affordable option, take my online marriage course at www.designed2bmine.com. This is a 5-week Course to restore and refresh your Christian Marriage.3) Follow me online. You can find me at www.fredjacoby.com or follow my author page on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/fredkjacoby 🙌CLICK BELOW TO LEARN MORE ABOUT DESIGNED2bMINE MARRIAGE COURSE!
• 4.
  You are a "Relational Processor"

  Image Source

  Congrats, friend – by completing the "Designed2bMine Personality Inventory", you've made a big step towards building healthy relationships 🙌Based on your responses, you are a "Relational Processor." So what does that actually mean? Your answers to the questions demonstrate that you reflect God as He is revealed in the New Testament in how you think, interpret, and process well, just about everything. Here's what characterizes a Relational Processor:Relationship Focus:God is a relational God who desires closer and more intimate relationships with us. This aspect of God is one that you likely hold close to your heart. The importance of relationships in your life holds more importance than whether or not they are perfect (like Standard Processors). Since relationships are important, you tend to choose peace, cooperation, and unity. It troubles you when peace or acceptance isn't present, and you may stand up to people who don't show it or stand up for people who need it.Right & Wrong:The law-giving God defines what is right and wrong. Yet He also chooses to forgive sin and continue in the relationship. Similarly, the relationship takes priority for you as well, though you may see any lack of acceptance or love as wrong. While emotions are irrelevant to the Standard Processor, they are a larger part of your motivation. While part of you wants to be right, you'd rather have peace in relationships - though you may go to war to get it.Processes & Procedures:While our God is a God of Order, you focus on God as a God of love. While you are likely a "go with the flow" type of person who can be fairly flexible, you may have certain relational processes and procedures that are important to you, such as how people ought to be treated. These processes are seen as the right process, and they are what is needed for peace and positive relationships. You are not as concerned with the right way to do things with non-relational things, like projects.Concrete v. Abstract Thinking:God created both the physical world and the metaphysical (intellectual, emotional, love, philosophical/theological). You focus mainly on things that are metaphysical. This means you pay more attention to the thoughts, emotions, and motives of people. Certain facts may be dismissed as feelings become more of the source of truth. While Standard Processors focus more on people's actions, Relational Processors focus more on feelings.Faith:Love. Grace. Unity. Peace. These are likely important values when expressing faith. God's love and grace remain key themes in your walk with Him, as these are relational terms. Since you are relational, people will likely feel love and acceptance from you as you make yourself available to them. You likely struggle with literal interpretations of Scripture (which focus on things that are more black and white) as you tend to focus more on the relational themes of Scripture. It will be important to ensure that the focus on God's love and grace will not turn into a license to sin or become legalistic relationally - meaning you lack tolerance for people who break the relational laws of love (however you define it). But mature and humble believers ought to equally consider God's truth, holiness, and righteousness in their walk.Weakness Areas:While relationships generally go fairly well for you, you may have a tendency to give up things that you want in order to please others. Grace, peace, and love are great values. However, it may be difficult for some Relational Processors to recognize holiness and righteousness as equally important. Furthermore, if you have a "peace at all costs" mentality, you may find yourself avoiding conflicts and enabling others in their wrongful decisions. It may be difficult to see confrontation as a loving act that is best for others in the long run. If pride reigns, you will likely be driven by your feelings and may ignore the very truths and instructions of God. Additionally, you may create relational laws on how people should be treated and such laws can create conflict. It will be important to balance God's love and grace with His call for us to be obedient and righteous.3 tips for building and keeping healthy relationships...1) Be HumbleThe reason why most relationships fail is due to the pride and self-centeredness of at least one person. Pride says, "I am right." "I am king (or queen), and you must do what I want." "I deserve (fill in the blank)." Pride is all about me and my wants. Humility, on the other hand, is open to learning, growing, values the other person equally, and submits to God's Word over personal feelings. Humility is a godly quality that leads to great and lasting relationships. “God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.” Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time" 1 Pet 5:5-62) Speak Up in LoveRelational Processors are rather personable people who place emotions as a priority over most things. Avoiding conflict in order to have better relationships can eventually lead to further destruction in relationships. And yet, Relational Laws can lead to being critical of others as well. It is important to confront others lovingly (for their well-being and your own) and ensure we are not enabling others. Be assertive and speak up for yourself, for others, and humbly for the Lord. But do so in love."Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ." Eph 4:153) Let Truth Be Your GuideFocusing on the metaphysical will mean that our emotions will often take the front seat in decision-making and our responses. It's important to recognize this and look to focus more on what is true rather than how you feel. Feelings will tend to take priority over truth, and for some, feelings become truth (or "my truth"). Yet our feelings aren't always based on truth but on the perception of what is true. We can never ignore our feelings, and we must acknowledge them because they are a part of us - yet we can't ignore that Truth does not come from within but from God. Let Truth guide your emotions rather than let your emotions guide the truth. Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6 Want to know more? Let me introduce myself...Hey there, and welcome – My name is Fred Jacoby and I am the Founder of Foundations Christian Counseling Services. I'm also the author of The Black & White Thinking Christian, a husband for 30 years, and a father of 2 young men. I'm here to help you grow closer to your spouse and towards God. I've created the Designed2bMine Personality Quiz to better help us understand how we reflect God, how we can improve in our relationships, and to pave a pathway towards becoming more like Christ.Looking for a little extra guidance? Check out these 3 resources1) Purchase my book, The Black-and-White Thinking Christian. This book is my first work that seemed to hit home with a lot of black & white thinking Christians. Perhaps you are married to one! Used as a study, it's also helped a number of couples as well!2) Take my Online Marriage Course - Designed2bMine. If you need some marriage help and want an affordable option, take my online marriage course at www.designed2bmine.com. This is a 5-week Course to restore and refresh your Christian Marriage.3) Follow me online. You can find me at www.fredjacoby.com or follow my author page on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/fredkjacoby 🙌CLICK BELOW TO LEARN MORE ABOUT DESIGNED2bMINE MARRIAGE COURSE!