What is your Attachment Wound?

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  I worry that my partner will or has stopped loving me.

  • A.
    Often, nearly any absence or changed behavior sets me off.
  • B.
    When the other person is clearly upset with me.
  • C.
    Nearly never.
• 2.
  I am affectionate with my partner.

  • A.
    Yes, it comes easy to me.
  • B.
    No, it is difficult for me to feel comfortable touching or complimenting them.
• 3.
  I bounce back quickly after a break-up.

  • A.
    False. It takes me a really long time to get over them.
  • B.
    False. It takes me what I would consider a "normal" amount of time to get over them.
  • C.
    True. I am sometimes surprised at how quickly I bounce back.
• 4.
  If I'm being honest, when I am not in a relationship I feel anxious or incomplete.

  • A.
    Very true.
  • B.
    True.
  • C.
    Not true.
• 5.
  My partner/s have complained that I ignore, forget them, or don't make time for them.

  • A.
    I've heard that rarely.
  • B.
    I've heard it from more than one partner, or many times from the same partner.
  • C.
    That would never describe me.
• 6.
  I've stood someone up before (by accident or on purpose).

  • A.
    True.
  • B.
    False.
• 7.
  If my partner doesn't call or arrive when they say they will, I imagine the worse.

  • A.
    Yup.
  • B.
    Never.
  • C.
    Only in extreme or suspicious circumstances.
• 8.
  I feel comfortable depending on my romantic partners.

  • A.
    Yes.
  • B.
    No
• 9.
  My partner/s feels safe asking me for what they need in a relationship.

  • A.
    Yes
  • B.
    No
• 10.
  I prefer not to share my deepest feelings and fears with my partner/s.

  • A.
    True.
  • B.
    False.
• 11.
  When I feel emotionally overwhelmed, I feel the need to:

  • A.
    be alone, and process my feelings.
  • B.
    get reassurance from friends, family, or my partner.
  • C.
    a little of both.
  • D.
    escape (drugs, TV, work).
• 12.
  I expect the best from my partner, and I deliver my best.

  • A.
    Sounds like me.
  • B.
    Wish it sounded like me.
  • C.
    I put my best into other things in my life, not my romantic partner.
• 13.
  My primary stress response is probably:

  • A.
    Fight (attack)
  • B.
    Flight (run)
  • C.
    Fawn (dote on the attacker)
  • D.
    Freeze
• 14.
  I usually feel like I do the majority of the social planning and calling/texting with my friends and partner.

  • A.
    Sounds like me.
  • B.
    No, I usually let others take the lead.
  • C.
    It's a pretty "fair" distribution of effort in my relationships.
• 15.
  If someone starts acting cold or indifferent to me:

  • A.
    I feel relieved actually.
  • B.
    It gets me really anxious, wondering what I must have done.

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  Anxious Attachment Wound

  Image Source

  People with an anxious attachment wound have problems trusting others not to leave them or stop loving them. They often come across as clingy or needy. And participate in covert manipulation tactics (codependency) to make their partner feel dependent on them. In the pursuer / distancer cycle, these people play the pursuers.You can learn more about this on our podcast episode on The Abandonment Wound
• 2.
  Avoidant Attachment Wound

  Image Source

  People with the avoidant attachment style have problems with intimacy and low emotional investment in relationships. Although they do want love, they are overwhelmed by it. Deep down in side they fear rejection. Escaping, getting distracted, and going numb is how they protect themselves.You can learn more about this on our podcast, when we discuss The Rejection Wound
• 3.
  Disorganized Attachment Wound

  Image Source

  This style is marked by a mix of behaviors that can look like the avoidance attachment and the anxious attachment wound. You may desire close relationships but fear trusting others and getting hurt. Your childhood may have experienced marked trauma.
• 4.
  Secure Attachment

  Image Source

  Secure attachment looks like a lot of trust and safety in a relationship. People with this attachment style are often able to form lasting relationships.