As an anxious preoccupied attachment style you prioritize close social connections above all else. You don't love being alone. You enjoy texting with your partner throughout the day. If your don't hear from them you can panic and start to send more messages because you fear the closeness in the relationship is threatened. You likely grew up in a household with unpredictable caregivers that sometimes attuned to you and sometimes didn’t. Strengths:Understand other people’s needsWarm and friendlySupportive and inclusiveChallenges:Seek external validationOften pedastilize partners and othersPeople-pleasingAs an anxious preoccupied your probably don't love boundaries. In your mind boundaries create separation in a relationship. Your work is to learn to set boundaries and self-soothe on your own. You will see great success when you start to meet your own needs and solidify your self-identity. Ready to shift these old patterns? Click here to learn more about working with me.
As a dismissive avoidant you are likely to be slow to warm up to others. You may come across as cold or distant. You take your time to warm up in relationships. Emotions can be quite difficult for you because during childhood it was not safe for you to be vulnerable. You likely experienced neglect from your caregiver growing up. You are very practical, grounded, and tend to be very high achieving.Strengths:Practical and groundedHigh achievingSelf-sufficientChallenges:Can be distant or coldOut of touch with their emotionsAvoid conflictAs a dismissive avoidant you tend to experience higher levels of guilt and shame. Your go-to emotions are irritation and impatience with your partner. You can also feel often like trapped or swallowed by your partner or close relationships. You try to avoid conflict as much as possible and will resort to passive aggression to get your needs met. When there is conflict you tend to stonewall or disappear to avoid it. You would prefer for each partner to self-soothe on their own. You have a high need for freedom, alone time, and autonomy. Your work is to get in touch with your emotions, learn to be vulnerable, and share needs and boundaries from a grounded non-reactionary place.Ready to shift these old patterns? Click here to learn more about working with me.
This is also known as disorganized or anxious avoidant attachment style. As a fearful avoidant you oscillate between anxious preoccupied and dismissive avoidant strategies. You are charming and very present when meeting new people. You crave intimacy but it can also be scary. You struggle with trust in relationships because you couldn’t trust your caregiver growing up. You likely experienced trauma in your childhood.You tend to run hot and cold in relationships because you flip from using anxious preoccupied and dismissive avoidant strategies. Your go-to emotion is anger when you feel trapped, helpless, or powerless in a situation. You probably don’t like setting boundaries and often set them from a reactionary place. You likely thrive in chaos because it’s the environment you grew up in. Strengths:ResilientCharmingAware of other’s needsChallenges:Run hot and coldProne to jealousy, control, and suspicionPeople-pleasingIt might take a while for your insecurities to flair up in a new relationship. When they do you often experience jealousy and suspicion of you partner. You need help with soothing but often don’t feel safe asking for it.Your work is to build self-trust by both learning how to self-soothe and get in touch with your emotions. Creating a consistent self-care practice can be very helpful for you as well as understanding and communicating your needs and boundaries. Ready to shift these old patterns? Click here to learn more about working with me.
As a secure attachment type you tend to be very in touch with your emotions. You know how to self-soothe and process emotions when you are triggered. You are aware of your emotions in the moment and feel comfortable sharing them with others. You understand that boundaries are important and have no problem sharing them with others. Core wounds might come up for you that are situation specific. This means you could be holding onto a story from childhood of not being a good student because of an experience you had in school.Strengths:BalancedEmotionally regulatedStableChallenges:Can hold onto situation-specific storiesCan be aloof when others are triggeredSurprised when conflict arisesYou might need help with resolving an old belief. Getting coaching or support is helpful when you're going through a difficult time in your life like divorce or a loss. Ready to shift these old patterns? Click here to learn more about working with me.