Did I grow up too soon?

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  Growing up, I felt like a parent to my sibling(s)

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False
• 2.
  My family circumstances growing up (medical, financial, or mental) kept my parents from meeting my needs. 

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False
• 3.
  Today as an adult, I still feel responsible for the well-being of those in my family.

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False
• 4.
  I do not remember much about my childhood, especially fond memories.

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False
• 5.
  As a child, my parent(s) confided in me about their private life. I was their secret keeper.

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False
• 6.
  My parent(s) did not care or ask about my emotional needs when I was a child.

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False
• 7.
  I was expected to be emotionally supportive and available to my parent(s) when I was a child.

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False
• 8.
  I was often pulled into conflict in my house as a child, and was expected to provide support and advice.

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False
• 9.
  I feel like it's better and safer to rely on myself rather than rely on others to meet my emotional needs.

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False
• 10.
  When I was growing up, I worked to pay bills in my household. 

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False
• 11.
  As a child or an adolescent, I cooked meals for the entire family.

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False
• 12.
  I was often complimented for being “so good” and “so responsible”.

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False
• 13.
  It became my job and responsibility to take care of elderly family members when I was very young.

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False
• 14.
  Today I find it difficult to play or relax just because.

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  No, sounds like it might be something else.

  Image Source

  Family dynamics can be tricky and shape our thoughts about ourselves and others. Even though you may not identify with the parentification concept, it seems like there is something worth uncovering. It’s ok to start therapy even if nothing is wrong. Therapy is a safe space to dissect and validate your personal narrative. At Myers-Galloway Counseling, we use questionnaires to help you explore this. The therapeutic relationship can model a healthy relational interaction. Each parentification experience is unique and different, you deserve care and love to discuss yours.
• 2.
  Yes, you may have experienced parentification. 

  Image Source

  In general, our community embraces strong cultural values of family reciprocity and role flexibility. Due to external factors, racial and economic disparities being the most prevalent, black children are often forced to complete instrumental and emotional tasks around their home as a means of survival. Black women are parentified and adultified at higher rates than their male counterparts and by unfair circumstances, have been groomed to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. There are two types of parentification: emotional and instrumental. 1) Emotional parentification happens when a child is expected to be the counselor, confidant or emotional caretaker to the parent. 2) Instrumental parentification happens when children are given domestic tasks that are not age appropriate like taking care of a sick sibling, working to pay bills, or cooking meals for the entire family. Here is what you can do:▶ First, take the time to think about and reflect on what happened to you. What stories have you been telling yourself? Is there an opportunity to change the narrative? ▶ Second, assess your current boundaries and/or establish new ones with your parents or others. ▶ Next, acknowledge the guilt and fear you have for attending to your own needs. This is common but a necessary part of moving forward. You just have to believe that you are worth it. Stick with it, but give yourself some grace in this journey. Lastly, examine the positive ways (maybe with a gratitude list) that your upbringing has made you who you are. Therapy is a safe space to dissect and validate your personal narrative. At Myers-Galloway Counseling, we use questionnaires to help you explore this. The therapeutic relationship can model a healthy relational interaction. Each parentification experience is unique and different, you deserve care and love to discuss yours.