What’s your attachment style?

Image Source

Quiz Questions

1.
I feel comfortable depending on my partner (or family & friends)
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
2.
I miss my partner (or family/friends) when we’re apart, but often, when we’re together I feel the need to be alone
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
3.
I hesitate to show my partner how I feel because I’m afraid they will not feel the same about me. (Or, I am afraid my family/friends won't accept how I'm feeling)
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
4.
When I disagree with my partner (or family/friends), I usually feel comfortable expressing my opinions
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
5.
In the past, I would typically bounce back quickly after a breakup (or end of a friendship). I can just put someone out of my mind and move on
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
6.
When my partner is away, I sometimes worry that they might become interested in someone else. (Or, I worry that my friend may like another friend more than me if I'm not included in most things they do)
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
7.
I find it difficult to emotionally support my partner (or friend/family) when they are feeling down
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
8.
I think about my relationships a lot and I replay things they or I said
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
9.
Deep down I worry that if my partner leaves me I might never find someone else. (Or I worry that I may never find a friendship/relationship as good as this one again)
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
10.
I do not like feeling that other people depend on me
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
11.
I sometimes feel angry or annoyed with my partner (close family/friends) without knowing why
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
12.
I am generally very sensitive to my partner’s moods (Or the moods of those around me)
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
13.
I feel comfortable expressing my needs and wants to my partner (or family/friends)
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
14.
I have generally found it difficult to depend on romantic partners
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
15.
I often worry that one day my partner might stop loving me (or my family/friend may stop liking me)
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
16.
I’m comfortable sharing my personal thoughts and feelings with my partner (when in a relationship)
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
17.
During a conflict, I tend to impulsively do or say things I later regret
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
18.
An argument with my partner (or family/friend) doesn’t usually cause me to question our entire relationship
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
19.
I am generally satisfied with my closest relationship
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
20.
I believe most people are essentially honest and dependable
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
21.
If my partner (family/friend) is acting different I don't automatically assume it's about me
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
22.
If I notice that someone is interacting with my partner in a flirtatious way, I don’t let it faze me. I might feel a bit of jealousy, but it’s fleeting. (Or, if I notice someone spending more time with my best friend...)
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
23.
My partner often wants me to be more intimate (physically or emotionally) than I feel comfortable being
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
24.
My independence has tended to be more important to me than my relationships
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
25.
I often worry that I'm not attractive enough
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
26.
I rarely get offended in my relationship (or friendships)
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
27.
I prefer not to share my innermost feelings with my partner (for close friends/family)
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
28.
When dating, I can/would get very quickly attached to a romantic partner (or become quickly attached to a friend)
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
29.
When my partner is upset with me I feel anxious and incomplete (or, parent/friend)
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
30.
It makes me uncomfortable when my partner gets too close (I don't enjoy sharing my emotions, or hearing theirs)
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
31.
Would you be interested in any of the following? (check all that apply)
- A.
  Marriage Coaching
- B.
  Individual Coaching
- C.
  Premarital Coaching
- D.
  None of the above

Quiz Outcomes

1.
Your love style is Secure
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I'm sure you won't have any trouble believing this, but you’ve got a secure attachment! You're comfortable just being you and it shows in your relationships. You remain steady and calm and don't let others affect you too much. You may not have always had a secure attachment. We know that our attachment styles can change overtime by doing things like surrounding yourself with the right people, doing therapy, and taking care of yourself. If that describes you, then congratulations on your healing journey! However, it's still good to check in with yourself to maintain your healthy attachment style. Take a look at your second and third results; they are indicators of secondary attachment styles that may come up from time to time in your life. 3 tips on maintaining your secure attachment down below! . . .Special Offer!To thank you for taking our quiz, we want to offer you 25% off our online course, "Get To The Roots"This course draws on years of professional counseling expertise and real-life personal relationship healing experiences to help you:- Build a Deeper Connection: Experience an unbreakable bond with your partner, filled with understanding and support.- Have Meaningful Conversations: Grow together through conversations that create space for genuine sharing and encourage mutual growth.- Practice Conflict Resolution: Transform disagreements into opportunities for understanding and opportunities to strengthen your love, even during challenging times.- Begin Healing Your Attachment: Gain a deeper understanding of attachment styles and how they influence your dynamic.- Gain Emotional Mastery: Identify your root emotions and learn emotional regulation for healthier, more fulfilling interactions.- Establish Healthy Boundaries: Strengthen intimacy, promote personal growth, and demonstrate mutual support and respect through healthy boundary establishment.- And more!Join us on this journey toward creating a genuine connection, friendship, and love that lasts a lifetime.If you would like to enroll now, use the code "roots25off” and receive 25% off as a way for us to say thank you for taking our quiz.More about the course here:yourmarriagefirst.com/rootsHere are your 3 tips!Keep your secure attachment and boost your emotional intelligence by practicing these 3 strategies:1. Make positivity a daily practice. A little bit of optimism goes a long way. Whether it’s gratitude journaling, telling those around you how they make your life better, or meditating. Find an activity that lifts you up and do it regularly. One of our favorite ways to do this is to look out at the mountains or landscape nearby, and simply notice it with appreciation as the intention. It only takes a minute.2. Choose a growth mindset. Instead of seeing failure or conflicts as dead-ends, try to view them as opportunities to learn. Your mind is forever expanding. Some examples: Try setting one positive intention today, expect to become 1% better than yesterday, listen to a positive podcast, read 5 pages of a book. Whatever works best for you.3. What if I can? Instead of "What if I can't?", What if it doesn't?" thoughts, think "What if I can?", "What if it does?" Train your brain to get out of its negative loop and focus on the possibilities! YOU get to choose what you think, and what an amazing gift that is.Welcome to Marriage First! We are Doug & Marissa.We are a marriage coaching team with a special interest in healing attachment wounds and trauma. After spending a lot of time and money overhauling our marriage, and learning about and healing ourselves, we found a passion for this work. Seeing the results of our own healing and its potential permanency is exciting. Doug has been a therapist focused on trauma and marriage therapy since 2018. He brings with him the experience of working alongside couples as they heal themselves and restored their marriages. In doing so, the biggest discovery has been noticing how many traditional marriage counseling theories do not work in the long run. There is a huge focus on better communication, but we know that better communication isn't what's going to save your marriage. If your communication is broken it's because something deeper in you needs attention. That's where we come in. As coaches we work alongside you, as a team. We find the parts of you that have been waiting patiently, or impatiently, to be acknowledged.Seeing how healing attachment wounds and past hurts can forever change your future is why we're here. We want you to have it all and we believe that you can. When you put your mariage first you have the potential to change the future, change the course of your loved ones lives, generationally and indefinitely, and make an impact in the world. When you are no longer being distracted by the hurts that are keeping you from your full potential, you will find you have the capacity to accomplish more than you could dream of, and have a marriage that not only brings you joy and contentment, but that others notice and want for themselves.Interested in learning more? Follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok for quick tips. On these platforms we bring you valuable info that's easy to understand.We're so happy this found you. If this was helpful, let us know! Wishing you the best on your healing journey. Doug & Marissa, Marriage First Coaching
2.
Your love style is Avoidant
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There are 3 main types of attachment styles. Secure, Anxious, and Avoidant. There are branches and combinations to each of these, but based on your answers, you lean more Avoidant.As an "avoidant" you most likely value your independence and autonomy. In relationships, you may hear from your partner that you don't communicate well, or enough, or that they want more from you than what you're comfortable giving. You may pride yourself on being "drama-free", and avoiding confrontation. Ultimately, an avoidant is hypersensitive to anything that may feel like control. These qualities aren't necessarily damaging, until you get into a serious relationship.Avoidants tend to resonate with some of these thoughts:"I find others needy""relationships shouldn't be this much work""I'm better off on my own""I often feel attacked or criticized when approached, especially regarding conflict""I don't see the point in opening up""I need more space""I think I'm an introvert""I don't need or even enjoy much physical contact""I find it easier to judge others than to see where I could improve""I'm used to people leaving, I don't really care"Because all of our attachment styles are formed in early childhood by our primary caregivers, we are not aware of our distorted views of the world around us. It's our normal. When you become more intimately involved with a romantic partner their views will expose yours. This is when tension and conflicts arise. Don't worry! This isn't bad news. This is awesome. Being aware of your attachment style is the most important part of healing and growth. Your marriage is designed to pull out and expose all of the parts of you that need attention. Those old attachment wounds will get triggered and can cause a feeling of distance between you and your spouse. But remember, you're not fighting each other across the table, you're sitting on the same side of the table working on the conflicts and wounds together, but separately.(Special Offer Below)Our attachment styles CAN change. Want to become more securely attached? Practice these 3 things to grow empathy and boost your emotional intelligence.1. What's upsetting you? Challenge yourself to feel upset when something upsetting happens. You've been really good at pushing your emotional needs aside and avoiding confrontation. This doesn't necessarily mean you need to confront someone today, or involve anyone else at all. Baby steps. Just allow the feeling to sit a moment, and then ask yourself why you are feeling this way. With practice you may be surprised at what answers will come from that question. A simple assessment of the feeling can create a domino effect into healing.2. Practice empathy. This is a skill we can strengthen. Practicing "walking in someone else's shoes" creates a genuine sense of understanding that goes farther than any communication book can when dealing with conflicts in your marriage. Empathy reduces our defensiveness, and gives us the capacity to truly BE with our partner in their pain. Become curious, examine your own biases, ask for feedback. Change your mindset for a bit by asking yourself, "What if this movie (my life) isn't about me?", "What if I'm not the main character?" See how that feels as you go about your day.3. Talk. A challenge many avoidants face is the inability to have deeper than surface level friendships and relationships. The fear of rejection and criticism can become a prison. It's so important to have community and deep, meaningful relationships throughout our lives. Your challenge is to find someone, anyone you trust or look up to, and start opening up. Don't laugh it off or change the subject when you feel an emotion arise. Special Offer!To thank you for taking our quiz, we want to offer you 25% off our online course, "Get To The Roots"This course draws on years of professional counseling expertise and real-life personal relationship healing experiences to help you:- Build a Deeper Connection: Experience an unbreakable bond with your partner, filled with understanding and support.- Have Meaningful Conversations: Grow together through conversations that create space for genuine sharing and encourage mutual growth.- Practice Conflict Resolution: Transform disagreements into opportunities for understanding and opportunities to strengthen your love, even during challenging times.- Begin Healing Your Attachment: Gain a deeper understanding of attachment styles and how they influence your dynamic.- Gain Emotional Mastery: Identify your root emotions and learn emotional regulation for healthier, more fulfilling interactions.- Establish Healthy Boundaries: Strengthen intimacy, promote personal growth, and demonstrate mutual support and respect through healthy boundary establishment.- And more!Join us on this journey toward creating a genuine connection, friendship, and love that lasts a lifetime.If you would like to enroll now, use the code "roots25off” and receive 25% off as a way for us to say thank you for taking our quiz.More about the course here:yourmarriagefirst.com/rootsWelcome to Marriage First! We are Doug & Marissa.We are a marriage coaching team with a special interest in healing attachment wounds and trauma. After spending a lot of time and money overhauling our marriage, and learning about and healing ourselves, we found a passion for this work. Seeing the results of our own healing and its potential permanency is exciting. Doug has been a therapist focused on trauma and marriage therapy since 2018. He brings with him the experience of working alongside couples as they heal themselves and restored their marriages. In doing so, the biggest discovery has been noticing how many traditional marriage counseling theories do not work in the long run. There is a huge focus on better communication, but we know that better communication isn't what's going to save your marriage. If your communication is broken it's because something deeper in you needs attention. That's where we come in. As coaches we work alongside you, as a team. We find the parts of you that have been waiting patiently, or impatiently, to be acknowledged.Seeing how healing attachment wounds and past hurts can forever change your future is why we're here. We want you to have it all and we believe that you can. When you put your mariage first you have the potential to change the future, change the course of your loved ones lives, generationally and indefinitely, and make an impact in the world. When you are no longer being distracted by the hurts that are keeping you from your full potential, you will find you have the capacity to accomplish more than you could dream of, and have a marriage that not only brings you joy and contentment, but that others notice and want for themselves.Interested in learning more? Follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok for quick tips. On these platforms we bring you valuable info that's easy to understand.We're so happy this found you. If this was helpful, let us know! Wishing you the best on your healing journey. Doug & Marissa, Marriage First Coaching
3.
Your love style is Anxious
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There are 3 main types of attachment styles. Secure, Anxious, and Avoidant. There are branches and combinations to each of these, but based on your answers, you lean more Anxious.This may not feel like a congratulatory moment for you. However, knowing your love style is an important first step in putting your marriage first. So, congratulations, you now know something about yourself that the overwhelming majority of people will never take the time to figure out. You are on the path toward personal healing and permanent relationship restoration! As someone with an anxious attachment style, you most likely crave emotional connection and regular reassurance that you are loved. You may think highly of others but suffer from low self-esteem. You are probably sensitive and attuned to the needs of your partner but can be insecure and anxious about your worth. When your needs go unmet or when you feel rejected you may blame yourself or think of yourself as unworthy. Your parents were most likely inconsistent in their response to your emotional needs; sometimes they were responsive and supported, other times they were disconnected. Anxious attachers tend to resonate with some of these thoughts:"I'm afraid you'll leave me""I get jealous easily""I feel like I'm always doing something wrong""I worry that something will happen to ruin our relationship""I prefer not to be alone, I want someone with me all the time""I get anxious when you don't text me back right away""I feel like I'm not good enough for you"Because all of our attachment styles are formed in early childhood by our primary caregivers, we are not aware of our distorted views of the world around us. It's our normal. When you become more intimately involved with a romantic partner their views will expose yours. This is when tension and conflicts arise. Don't worry! This isn't bad news. This is awesome. Being aware of your attachment style is the most important part of healing and growth. Your marriage is designed to pull out and expose all of the parts of you that need attention. Those old attachment wounds will get triggered and can cause a feeling of distance between you and your spouse. But remember, you're not fighting each other across the table, you're sitting on the same side of the table working on the conflicts and wounds together, but separately.Our attachment styles CAN change. Ready to tame your Anxious style?Try these 3 strategies:1. Practice independence and self care. You may be sacrificing your needs for the sake of the relationship. While this isn't always a bad thing, if left unchecked it can create resentment and a lack of intimacy. Identify your needs and practice meeting them outside of your relationship. 2. Sit with your feelings. Being attuned to the feelings of others is a strength of yours. Instead, focus on yourself by identifying your emotions and spending time with them. This will enable you to bring others into YOUR unique and valuable emotional experience. 3. Learn to self regulate. Practice self-soothing and emotional regulation techniques. These can include meditation, journaling, box breathing, yoga, gratitude, exercising, singing, drawing, and painting among others. Special Offer!To thank you for taking our quiz, we want to offer you 25% off our online course, "Get To The Roots"This course draws on years of professional counseling expertise and real-life personal relationship healing experiences to help you:- Build a Deeper Connection: Experience an unbreakable bond with your partner, filled with understanding and support.- Have Meaningful Conversations: Grow together through conversations that create space for genuine sharing and encourage mutual growth.- Practice Conflict Resolution: Transform disagreements into opportunities for understanding and opportunities to strengthen your love, even during challenging times.- Begin Healing Your Attachment: Gain a deeper understanding of attachment styles and how they influence your dynamic.- Gain Emotional Mastery: Identify your root emotions and learn emotional regulation for healthier, more fulfilling interactions.- Establish Healthy Boundaries: Strengthen intimacy, promote personal growth, and demonstrate mutual support and respect through healthy boundary establishment.- And more!Join us on this journey toward creating a genuine connection, friendship, and love that lasts a lifetime.If you would like to enroll now, use the code "roots25off” and receive 25% off as a way for us to say thank you for taking our quiz.More about the course here:yourmarriagefirst.com/rootsWelcome to Marriage First! We are Doug & Marissa.We are marriage coaches with a special interest in healing attachment wounds and trauma. After spending a lot of time and money overhauling our marriage, and learning about and healing ourselves, we found a passion for this work. Seeing the results of our own healing and its potential permanency is exciting. Doug has been a therapist focused on trauma and marriage therapy since 2018. He brings with him the experience of working alongside couples as they heal themselves and restored their marriages. In doing so, the biggest discovery has been noticing how many traditional marriage counseling theories (especially with underqualified individuals through church programs, etc) do not work. There is a huge focus on better communication, but we now know that better communication isn't going to save your marriage. Your communiation is broken because something in you needs attention. That's where we come in. As coaches we work alongside you, as a team. We find the parts of you that have been waiting patiently, or impatiently, to be acknowledged.Seeing how healing attachment wounds and past hurts can forever change your future is why we're here. We want you to have it all and we believe that you can. When you put your mariage first you have the potential to change the future, change the course of your loved ones generationally and indefinitely, and make an impact in the world becase when you are no longer being distracted by the hurts that are keeping you from your full potential, you will find you have the capacity to accomplish more than you could dream of, and have a marriage that not only brings you joy and contentment, but that others notice and want for themselves.Interested in learning more? Follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok for quick tips. On these platforms we bring you valuable info that's easy to understand.We're so happy this found you. If this was helpful, let us know! Wishing you the best on your healing journey. Doug & Marissa, Marriage First Coaching

What’s your attachment style?

Knowing how you operate with your most intimate partner is a critical step toward becoming your best self in the relationship. This quiz will put you on the path toward making your marriage what you have always wanted it to be.

Quiz Questions

Quiz Outcomes