The Parenting Style Quiz

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Quiz Questions

1.
You come home from work and the house is in chaos - paint on the walls, food in the carpet... how do you handle it?
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- A.
  I am fuming and unafraid of punishment - consequences or timeouts will be delivered!
- B.
  This just wouldn't happen because my kids aren't left alone unsupervised, they have a routine and a schedule.
- C.
  A combination of talking to them, and age-appropriate consequences if it felt right.
- D.
  Kids are supposed to be making a mess and having fun - I'd help them tidy up and it's not a big deal.
- E.
  We will have a talk after I've tidied up and will try to reason with my child and explain why their behavior was inappropriate.
2.
Your kids are having their first sleep-over, and keep inviting more people to it. How do you handle rules and expectations?
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- A.
  The more the merrier!! If I set a limit, they'll just find a way to get their own way.
- B.
  A sit-down conversation and an honest exchange about how many people, how long and what my house rules are.
- C.
  The only rule is 'HAVE FUN' but let's not get crazy with inviting the entire school over.
- D.
  Sleep-over? Who has time for that? We're focusing on academic success right now, fun can happen later.
- E.
  I'd be the one inviting people over, or at least talking to the parents of the kids they want over, so I'm managing the entire thing.
3.
Your kids are talking about summer vacation and where they want to go. How does your family make decisions about family events?
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- A.
  My *FAMILY* doesn't make decisions, the adults in the house do because we know what everyone will enjoy.
- B.
  Family vacations are a little hard with all the summer camps we've signed them up for.
- C.
  It's wherever they want to go - vacation is really all about them having fun.
- D.
  I want to hear their ideas, and will consider them if I think everyone in the family will enjoy it.
- E.
  I want to know all about my kid's ideas but usually, they get to pick between a few options we suggest.
4.
Sometimes kids have big feelings, and teenagers can be moody - how do you handle more negative feelings in your family?
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- A.
  When there are negative or difficult emotions in my family, I try to help them refocus on positivity instead.
- B.
  I encourage open communication and expression of feelings in my family and try to create a safe and supportive environment for everyone to share their emotions
- C.
  I'm always managing emotions for my family by providing support and guidance when needed, asking what the problem is, fixing it if I can, or coming up with solutions if it's a problem.
- D.
  I allow my family members to express their feelings freely, but I don't usually get involved if there's anger or hostility - they work that out alone.
- E.
  I trust that my family or children will come to me if they have a big feeling they need help with, and I'll be there to help them.
5.
Decision-making is hard for some of us, but it's even more of a challenge for kids and teens. How do you help your child make decisions?
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- A.
  I help my child make decisions by providing guidance and support, but ultimately allowing them to make their own choices and so they can learn from the consequences.
- B.
  I am very involved in any decision my child needs to make and am around to provide detailed guidance and direction, I'll make the decision for them if needed.
- C.
  My child knows how to make the right decision because they know what I expect of them and how every decision can impact their future.
- D.
  My child makes their own decisions as they have the freedom and independence to explore and learn on their own. They know I'm available to support them when they need it.
- E.
  I let my child make their own decisions, it's not really for me to tell them what to do or to make decisions for them.
6.
Who runs the show in your family? The adults or the kids?
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- A.
  Clearly the adults! Children need to know who the boss is.
- B.
  I guess the kids do seem to get their own way most of the time... so maybe sometimes them?
- C.
  They might *think* they're the boss, but I pull the strings and make things happen.
- D.
  Generally, we're more of a democracy over here - we like deciding things together as a team.
- E.
  I think mainly the adults, but when it's appropriate, the kids can make decisions.
7.
We all have our own Love Languages, but how do you imagine your child knows that you love them?
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- A.
  I think my child knows I love them because I'm always showering them with hugs, kisses, and affirmations
- B.
  I only have high expectations for people I really love, so they feel my love when I am pushing them to be the best they can be.
- C.
  My child knows I love them because they know I trust them with freedom and independence to explore and learn on their own while also being there to support them when they need it
- D.
  I imagine my child knows that I love them because I am always there for them whenever they need me and always putting their needs first
- E.
  My child knows I love them because of our relationship - I am consistently available for guidance and support, to help them, guide them, and reassure them.
8.
What values do you hope your parenting style is instilling into your child?
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- A.
  A strong work ethic, discipline, and a sense of responsibility for their actions and behaviors
- B.
  To be kind, compassionate, and empathetic toward others
- C.
  To be independent, self-reliant, and capable of making their own decisions
- D.
  Self-worth, confidence, and the importance of following your dreams.
- E.
  To be the best possible version of yourself, to have confidence and to celebrate how special/unique they are.
9.
What role do you see for yourself as a parent in your child's life?
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- A.
  I see myself as a nurturing and supportive presence in my child's life, always there to comfort and reassure them.
- B.
  I see myself as a guiding force in my child's life, providing support, guidance, and structure to help them navigate the world
- C.
  I see myself as a mentor, cheerleader, and coach, helping my child to develop the skills and strategies they need to succeed in life.
- D.
  I see myself as a facilitator, giving my child the freedom and independence to explore and learn on their own while being available to support them when they need it.
- E.
  I see myself as a nurturing and supportive presence in my child's life, always there to comfort and reassure them.

Quiz Outcomes

1.
The Free Range Parent
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The Free Range Parent has a hands-off attitude to parenting, relying on their children to raise themselves and learn from their mistakes. At an extreme end of Free Range Parenting, we might see some neglect which is often unintentional but does mean that children's needs are not being met. More frequently, we see a lack of rules and boundaries and an absence of the enforcement of consequences. Sometimes parents lean towards being Free Range in their approach because of specific circumstances - being overwhelmed with balancing making money and raising children, or chronic illness. Remember these styles are all fluid, so getting this result now might be temporary and steps can be taken to move into a more impactful parenting style. PARENTS OF TEENSTeenagers with Free Range Parents are at risk of falling in with the 'wrong crowd', using substances, breaking rules and being oppositional. Teens will search for the connection they are lacking at home and often find it in a crowd of similar teens - gangs become appealing to these teens and if their attachment to their peer group is more significant than the connection to family, then there is an increased chance of dropping out of school and law-breaking.
2.
The Jellyfish Parent
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The Jellyfish Parent likely start out being very close with their child, and is very attentive to the newborn baby's needs and wants. Recently this has become popularized by Dr William Sears and his book Attachment Parenting, which is more commonly known as Koala Parenting. Koala parenting, in its purest form is supposed to promote a very connected bond between a parent and the newborn child. (The name refers to koalas whose infants stay in the mother's pouch for around six months before being weaned off). Koala Parenting is often used in conjunction with Attachment Theory, the work John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth. Attachment Parenting is said to promote a secure attachment between parent and child, which is correlated to more confident, calm children. Parenting a newborn with a focus on attachment and closeness is a beautiful idea, however, problems arise when this mentality extends beyond infancy. The parent might then become a Jellyfish Parent, being just as attentive and close to their child physically or emotionally as they were during infancy. The Jellyfish Parent may have some difficulty in separating from the child at an age-appropriate point in the child's development, remaining over-involved and attentive to every need and whim of the child in a manner that is not always helpful. This is often refered to as 'parental accommodation', in which the parent's needs are consistently put behind the needs of the child. They lack firmness PARENTS OF TEENSIf themes of Jellyfish Parenting are extended into early adolescence, we most often see parents move from accommodating to their child's behavioral or emotional needs to caving in to their demands. When adults start consistently place the teens needs and demands above their own, the natural hierarchy of parents being in charge is put at risk. Children and teens that have too much influence or control over their parents, can start to exhibit a whole host of behavioral and emotional issues. Symptoms exhibited in teens can range from school refusal to oppositional behaviors and anger outbursts.
3.
The Lighthouse Parent
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The lighthouse parent is a style of parenting made famous by Dr. Kenneth Grinsburg, which is rooted in attachment theory. The lighthouse is an excellent metaphor for parenting, as it warns of danger, guides ships to safety, and remains reliable and visible no matter the weather conditions. Parenting with this attitude means that advice is given when asked, behaviors are guided - not insisted upon, and while they leave their children to sail their own boats, they warn of danger and nurture the children towards safety in a storm.PARENTS OF TEENSTeenagers with lighthouse parents are likely to be able to navigate into adulthood very successfully - perhaps making an occasional age-appropriate mistake at times that they learn and grow from. These teens will likely develop healthy adult relationships and have successful stable careers.
4.
The Helicopter Parent
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HELICOPTER PARENTINGHelicopter Parenting - or you might see it refered to as Drone Parenting describes a parenting style that is overly involved in their child's life. Drone parenting differs only slightly from helicopter parenting - but refers to the involvement coming from either at a distance or done with more stealth. While a helicopter makes a lot of noise, a drone might go unobserved for extended periods of time; however, both accomplish the same thing. Both drone and helicopter parents have the best intentions but are overly involved in their child's life, monitoring or micromanaging and making decisions on behalf of their child that could be left to their child. Often the drone parent is highly anxious about their child but has focused their anxiety on their child's well-being and social or academic success. Unfortunately, this anxiety is often felt by the child who feels controlled or undermined. Drone parenting can severely wound a child's self-development and self-esteem. PARENTS OF TEENAGERS Teenagers with drone parents can become angry and resentful, and you might see increased hostility or anger outbursts. Teens are highly allergic to their parent's anxiety, and drone parenting is filled with anxious thoughts and fears. Drone parenting could also undermine a child's self-esteem to the point where the teen is depressed or withdrawn.
5.
The Tiger Parent
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THE TIGER PARENTTiger parenting, also known as "authoritative parenting," is a style of parenting that is characterized by high expectations, strict rules and discipline, and a focus on achievement and success. Tiger parents push their children to excel academically and in other areas, knowing that in the future, their chld will be successful as a result.PARENTS OF TEENAGERS Teenagers with Tiger Parents maybe negatively impacted by this parenting style with a study in the Journal of Adolescence finding that young adults who were raised by tiger parents had lower levels of autonomy, self-esteem, and life satisfaction compared to those raised by other parenting styles. This suggests that while tiger parenting may be effective in the short term, it may not be as beneficial in the long term.