Over dinner, your in-laws express disappointment over a recent decision you and your husband made. How might you respond?
A.
I'd be thinking (and might say to them) that they don't need to understand our decision.
B.
I'd want to know why they felt that way, and listen to their input. Afterward, I'd want to discuss it with my husband and possibly modify our decision so that his parents are pleased with our decision.
C.
I'll tell you one thing - I'm staying out of it.
2.
From 1-10, how likely are you to guide your family in how the day's events will go?
A.
1-4 — If I direct our family at all, it's only so that I can avoid any missteps that might come if I don't!
B.
5-7 — I will direct our family and consider their needs and preferences as I do, making sure they're experiencing what they'd each prefer.
C.
8 - 10 — You bet I direct our family! If I didn't, who would? I've got specific ways they can do what is needed, and if they can't do it that way, I'll likely step in!
3.
What question do you ask yourself the most?
A.
Why can't people just do what I need them to?
B.
What can I do to find peace + presence?
C.
Did so-and-so take what I said the wrong way? I hope he or she wasn't offended...
4.
Your husband tells you he didn't appreciate the comment you just made. How do you likely deal?
Oh look - someone needs me! Gotta run. At the very least, let's talk about something else.
5.
You win a free date night - what's the most likely plan?
A.
Finally! I've got the perfect plan.
B.
Whatever my husband wants to do!
C.
I'll share my idea for a fun date night with my husband and if he wants to do something else, we'll work that in as well.
6.
Which of the following best describes your current reality most days?
A.
I’m focused on keeping things going so that I don't have to experience unexpected disruptions. I can keep myself stable even when there are adjustments, but I'd prefer not to have to have any!
B.
I'm busy making sure my people are good. My main focus is taking care of my husband and kids and there's usually nothing left over!
C.
I know how to run the ship and my people usually help support it. I like things done a certain way and I'm clear in how others can also do things this way.
7.
Let’s talk boundaries — do you use 'em?
A.
I'm too concerned with how my boundaries will impact other people, so it's hard for me to set and follow through on them.
B.
I love a good boundary. If something it unhealthy, it’s not happening.
C.
I know what I can handle, and I don't think boundaries are necessary for me to function.
8.
What's your idea of a good conversation with your husband?
A.
Tackling what's been bothering my husband and I this week, and then discussing our schedules and plan for the next week.
B.
Anything light and easy - shoot the breeze about the day or just sit in silence would be great, too.
C.
Asking my husband what he'd like to talk about!
9.
Your husband texts you, asking how your day is going. How do you likely respond?
A.
Pretty much always good! Nothing new here!
B.
I'll clearly explain any difficulties, any wins, and move to the next item of conversation.
C.
I'd have to really think about it. I'd likely instead ask him how his day is going.
