What's Your Sexual Communication Style?

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  A partner wants to have sex with you. What's your reaction?  

  • A.
    Hold me first, and tell me how much you love me.
  • B.
    Was this on the schedule?
  • C.
    Um....Sure! Let me grab a few sex toys.
  • D.
    You want me to get into my body? Now?
• 2.
  Which of the following describes you in bed.

  • A.
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    Cautious
  • B.
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    In My Head
  • C.
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    Experimental
  • D.
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    Affectionate
• 3.
   When sex isn't working, you tend to feel… (Scroll down for all choices) 

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  • A.
    Sad. It's hard not to compare my situation to an ideal I feel I deserve.
  • B.
    Determined. I'm going to fix this, with a plan!
  • C.
    Curious. Is there a book I can read to understand what's wrong?
  • D.
    Frustrated. Sex shouldn't have to be this hard!
• 4.
  My last sexual communication was...  

  • A.
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    Focused, at least on my part. And now I have a list of what to work on.
  • B.
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    Confusing. I'm still not sure I understood what my partner was talking about.
  • C.
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    Filled with laughter, even if things were tense at times.
  • D.
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    Emotional. I tried to not let feelings get the best of me, but I definitely lost it at one point.
• 5.
  What are three traits lovers would use to describe you.

  • A.
    Spontaneous. Fun. Bold.
  • B.
    Intellectual. Curious. Unemotional.
  • C.
    Caring. Generous. Empathic.
  • D.
    Organized. Traditional. Careful.
• 6.
  What is your main focus when it comes to sex?  

  • A.
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    Performance.
  • B.
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    Orgasm.
  • C.
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    Fun.
  • D.
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    Connection.
• 7.
   Which one of these feelings come up when you contemplate expressing your sexual needs? (Scroll down for all choices)

  • A.
    Shame. I'm not comfortable with my true desires. Do I even know what these are?
  • B.
    Avoidance. I don’t have huge needs, or not ones that need to be talked about.
  • C.
    Eagerness. I love processing, and am hoping this conversation will lead to deeper connection.
  • D.
    Impatience. I want to have this conversation yesterday! It's best to be direct about this kind of thing.

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  Your Sexual Communication Style is…The Doer

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  As a Doer, you tend to be goal-oriented, and you crave communication leading to specific, positive change.When talking about intimacy, you're often looking for tangible results, i.e, what you can do to fulfill responsibilities. Pleasing your partner is important to you; it's just the right thing to do!When communicating your sexual needs, you're good at completing one thought before moving to a new topic. When lovers communicate their own needs, you prefer they stay focused, expressing themselves in a linear fashion. You respond best if suggestions are outlined in a step-by-step fashion.If you're wanting to create change in your bedroom, a timeline and concrete plan can really help you.Integrity is the light that illuminates your soul and bedroom eyes. This makes you an excellent lover and partner.Here are some sexual communication tips for Doers...☑️ Try to be patient if your lover is a non-linear communicator☑️ Creating a plan for change is great, but you might need to first let your partner explain their feelings, in their own way☑️ Work on giving your partner grace if they bring emotional drama into the bedroom☑️ Challenge yourself to open up about your true needs and preferences, even if this makes you feel shaky☑️ Cultivate spontaneity ☑️ Use your great organizing skills to make sure sex is on the schedule and that everyone is having equal pleasure☑️ It's OK to not know what to do or say sometimesNeed help impelementing any of the above?Introducing Sexual Solutions CoachingSexual Solutions Coaching is a practice you might not know much about. Essentially, it's life coaching, but centered on helping you navigate bedroom obstacles, to achieve specific bedroom goals. In contrast to most therapy, sexual solutions coaching offers expertise in sexuality, and it's often short-term, with an outlined goal.My specialty is helping women, and their partners, navigate issues such as: Sex After MenopauseFinding Remedies for Sexual Pain IssuesLibido BoostingSexual Issues Related to TraumaCommunication Between CouplesUnderstanding and Claiming More PleasureI work via courses and also one-on-one sessions. I also do speaking on college campuses, related to consent and women's empowerment.A Little More About Me...Hi, I'm Laura ZamAfter going on an epic odyssey solving six kinds of sexual problems, associated with childhood trauma and menopause, I learned first-hand how difficult it was to get good information about female sexuality and solving intimacy problems. I wrote a book about this journey where I use a lot of humor to address these serious topics, 'cause that's just how I roll. I also got certified as a sexuality educator so I could help other women navigate their own sex challenges. My practice has been going strong for 10 years.It’s my mission to empower women to claim the pleasure, intimacy, and wholeness that's their birthright.That said, because women's sexuality is embedded in a context of relationship, I also work with couples. And because partnerships are embedded in a larger universe of shame, misinformation, fear, repression, and wounding, I also often speak about sexual healing--for all genders--and how that positively impacts society.The best way to learn about me is through my best selling book, "The Pleasure Plan," available at bookstores everywhere.Some Resources for You:Here are some additional resources to help you on your journey finding awakening, empowerment, and healing.Want to learn about sexual healing? Check out my limited podcast series, Sexual Healing Central. My current podcast series focuses exclusively on sex & menopause. It's weekly, and you can ask questions live! Check out Sex and Menopause with Laura ZamFor daily sex-ed plus comedy, follow me on Instagram. Indeed, I share tips on solving women's sexual problems. I also sometimes appear as a man giving...unusual advice. Finally, don’t know where to begin but you know you’re ready to begin solving a sexual issue? Book a call with me to discuss how I might help you find the pleasure and clarity you deserve. 🏛️ You are the architect of your sex life 🏘️Over the next few days, I'll be sharing more ideas with you to help catapult your sexual growth!
• 2.
   Your sexual communication style is…The Thinker

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  When communicating, Thinkers like to reflect upon a situation before responding. This makes you a thoughtful communicator. However, as a person who highly values a life of the mind, you can have difficultly identifying and feeling complex emotions. Pleasing your partner is important to you; but you're not always sure how to balance that with what you want in between the sheets. As for your own needs, you tend to downplay the emotional kind, or anything that make you feel vulnerable.On the plus side, your analytical skills let you figure out core problems. You're great at finding novel ways to fix what's wrong.In bed, Thinkers tend to value the physical aspect of lovemaking (a rare chance to NOT be in your head). Accordingly, you may resent having to process another's disappointments, frustrations, and needs. Intellectual prowess makes you a wonderful companion, and a sought-after lover. Also, your thirst for knowledge can lead to wonderful erotic expansion.Here are some sexual communication tips for thinkers...☑️ Try to listen without being so judgmental☑️ Fixing problems is great, but you might need to first let your partner explain, in their own way☑️ Work on giving your partner more emotional support☑️ Talk about true needs and preferences, even if this makes you vulnerable☑️ Cultivate a practice of giving compliments☑️ Use your big brain to figure out compromise in bed, so everyone is having equal pleasure☑️ It's OK to connect head and heartNeed help implementing any of the above?Introducing Sexual Solutions CoachingSexual Solutions Coaching is a practice you might not know much about. Essentially, it's life coaching, but centered on helping you navigate bedroom obstacles, to achieve specific bedroom goals. In contrast to most therapy, sexual solutions coaching offers expertise in sexuality, and it's often short-term, with an outlined goal.My specialty is helping women, and their partners, navigate issues such as: Sex After MenopauseFinding Remedies for Sexual Pain IssuesLibido BoostingSexual Issues Related to TraumaCommunication Between CouplesUnderstanding and Claiming More PleasureI work via courses and also one-on-one sessions. I also do speaking on college campuses, related to consent and women's empowerment.A Little More About Me...Hi, I'm Laura ZamAfter going on an epic odyssey solving six kinds of sexual problems, associated with childhood trauma and menopause, I learned first-hand how difficult it was to get good information about female sexuality and solving intimacy problems. I wrote a book about this journey where I use a lot of humor to address these serious topics, 'cause that's just how I roll. I also got certified as a sexuality educator so I could help other women navigate their own sex challenges. My practice has been going strong for 10 years.It’s my mission to empower women to claim the pleasure, intimacy, and wholeness that's their birthright.That said, because women's sexuality is embedded in a context of relationship, I also work with couples. And because partnerships are embedded in a larger universe of shame, misinformation, fear, repression, and wounding, I also often speak about sexual healing--for all genders--and how that positively impacts society.A great way to learn about me is through my bestselling book, "The Pleasure Plan," available at bookstores everywhere.Some Resources for You...Here are some additional resources to help you on your journey finding awakening, empowerment, and healing.Want to learn about sexual healing? Check out my limited podcast series, Sexual Healing Central. My current podcast series focuses exclusively on sex & menopause. It's weekly, and you can ask questions live! Check out Sex and Menopause with Laura ZamFinally, don’t know where to begin but you know you’re ready to begin solving a sexual issue? Book a call with me to discuss how I might help you find the pleasure and clarity you deserve. 🏛️ You are the architect of your sex life 🏘️Over the next few days, I'll be sharing more ideas with you to help catapult your sexual growth!
• 3.
   Your sexual communication style is…The Adventurer    

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  When communicating about sex, Adventurers tend to be direct, yet playful. As a fun-seeker, sex is a perfect activity for you!However, let's face it: you get bored easily. Communication is a great way to make things more lively, entertaining, and fun. Adventurers tend to be spontaneous, so you might feel like communicating when the mood strikes.When discussing sex with a partner, you like to include relevant stories. This is fine as long as your partner is following you.Some adventurers communicate best while moving their body at the same time, like talking while going for a walk.Adventurers despise routine, and are often thinking up new ways to have delight in bed. This makes you a creative and exciting lover.Here are some sexual communication tips for Adventurers...☑️ Try to be patient with partners who communicate more haltingly☑️ Spontaneous sex is great, but scheduling can ensure you actually get down to business☑️ Hold your tongue if you have an urge, in the moment, to criticize your partner's bedroom moves☑️ Cultivate more tolerance for lovers who might need more safety and reassurance in bed☑️ You don't need to share every fantasy☑️ Curb resentment if you're the one always thinking up new bedroom ideas; you might just have more strength in this department ☑️ It's OK to let your partner know when you're bored; who better to find ways to things up?Need help implementing any of these?Introducing Sexual Solutions CoachingSexual Solutions Coaching is a practice you might not know much about. Essentially, it's life coaching, but centered on helping you navigate bedroom obstacles, to achieve specific bedroom goals. In contrast to most therapy, sexual solutions coaching offers expertise in sexuality, and it's often short-term, with an outlined goal.My specialty is helping women, and their partners, navigate issues such as: Sex After MenopauseFinding Remedies for Sexual Pain IssuesLibido BoostingSexual Issues Related to TraumaCommunication Between CouplesUnderstanding and Claiming More PleasureI work via courses and also one-on-one sessions. I also do speaking on college campuses, related to consent and women's empowerment.A Little More About Me...Hi, I'm Laura ZamAfter going on an epic odyssey solving six kinds of sexual problems, associated with childhood trauma and menopause, I learned first-hand how difficult it was to get good information about female sexuality and solving intimacy problems. I wrote a book about this journey where I use a lot of humor to address these serious topics, 'cause that's just how I roll. I also got certified as a sexuality educator so I could help other women navigate their own sex challenges. My practice has been going strong for 10 years.It’s my mission to empower women to claim the pleasure, intimacy, and wholeness that's their birthright.That said, because women's sexuality is embedded in a context of relationship, I also work with couples. And because partnerships are embedded in a larger universe of shame, misinformation, fear, repression, and wounding, I also often speak about sexual healing--for all genders--and how that positively impacts society.A great way to learn about me is through my bestselling book, "The Pleasure Plan," available at bookstores everywhere.Some Resources for You...Here are some additional resources to help you on your journey finding awakening, empowerment, and healing.Want to learn about sexual healing? Check out my limited podcast series, Sexual Healing Central. My current podcast series focuses exclusively on sex & menopause. It's weekly, and you can ask questions live! Check out Sex and Menopause with Laura ZamFor daily sex-ed plus comedy, follow me on Instagram. Indeed, I share tips on solving women's sexual problems. I also sometimes appear as a man giving...unusual advice. Finally, don’t know where to begin but you know you’re ready to begin solving a sexual issue? Book a call with me to discuss how I might help you find the pleasure and clarity you deserve. 🏛️ You are the architect of your sex life 🏘️Over the next few days, I'll be sharing more ideas with you to help catapult your sexual growth!
• 4.
  Your sexual communication type is…The Romantic 

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  When communicating, Romantics like to take time to relate.Often thought of a good listeners, Romantics value good eye-contact and empathy.Romantics value connection and love above everything else. This often gives you impetus to improve intimacy in your relationship--by communicating! Romantics love processing, and enjoy long and deep conversations about relating.Romantics often have an idealized vision of what a love partnership should look like. That's OK, as long as it doesn't set you up for disappointment.As a naturally generous person, it's important to speak up if you're giving more than you're gettingRomantics respond well to all gestures of affection, including verbal expressions like compliments or a simple "I love you."Ultimately, you live a life of the heart. This makes you an excellent life partner and passionate lover. Here are some sexual communication tips for Romantics...☑️ Try to be patient with partners who are not as heart-focused☑️ Emotions are fine during communication. If they come up while talking, let them crest and fall so you don't get overwhelmed☑️ Honor your heart's desire; share what you really want☑️ If you're the type of Romantic who puts another's needs before your own, speak up for yourself☑️ Value your own sexual pleasure, not just keeping the peace☑️ Curb resentment if you're the one always initiating relationship discussions. you might just have more strength in this department ☑️ It's OK to let your partner know when you're not getting the intimacy you need; who better to move your relationship toward this closeness?Need help implementing any of these? Introducing Sexual Solutions CoachingSexual Solutions Coaching is a practice you might not know much about. Essentially, it's life coaching, but centered on helping you navigate bedroom obstacles, to achieve specific bedroom goals. In contrast to most therapy, sexual solutions coaching offers expertise in sexuality, and it's often short-term, with an outlined goal.My specialty is helping women, and their partners, navigate issues such as: Sex After MenopauseFinding Remedies for Sexual Pain IssuesLibido BoostingSexual Issues Related to TraumaCommunication Between CouplesUnderstanding and Claiming More PleasureI work via courses and also one-on-one sessions. I also do speaking on college campuses, related to consent and women's empowerment.A Little More About Me...Hi, I'm Laura ZamAfter going on an epic odyssey solving six kinds of sexual problems, associated with childhood trauma and menopause, I learned first-hand how difficult it was to get good information about female sexuality and solving intimacy problems. I wrote a book about this journey where I use a lot of humor to address these serious topics, 'cause that's just how I roll. I also got certified as a sexuality educator so I could help other women navigate their own sex challenges. My practice has been going strong for 10 years.It’s my mission to empower women to claim the pleasure, intimacy, and wholeness that's their birthright.That said, because women's sexuality is embedded in a context of relationship, I also work with couples. And because partnerships are embedded in a larger universe of shame, misinformation, fear, repression, and wounding, I also often speak about sexual healing--for all genders--and how that positively impacts society.A great way to learn about me is through my bestselling book, "The Pleasure Plan," available at bookstores everywhere.Some Resources for You...Here are some additional resources to help you on your journey finding awakening, empowerment, and healing.Want to learn about sexual healing? Check out my limited podcast series, Sexual Healing Central. My current podcast series focuses exclusively on sex & menopause. It's weekly, and you can ask questions live! Check out Sex and Menopause with Laura ZamFor daily sex-ed plus comedy, follow me on Instagram. Indeed, I share tips on solving women's sexual problems. I also sometimes appear as a man giving...unusual advice. Finally, don’t know where to begin but you know you’re ready to begin solving a sexual issue? Book a call with me to discuss how I might help you find the pleasure and clarity you deserve. 🏛️ You are the architect of your sex life 🏘️Over the next few days, I'll be sharing more ideas with you to help catapult your sexual growth!