Am I getting used?

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Quiz Questions

1.
If I am good and do things right, I will be loved and have my needs met
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- A.
  Yes, I believe that.
- B.
  I believe that somewhat.
- C.
  No. I don't think that is true.
2.
I prefer to avoid conflict to keep my world moving smoothly.
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- A.
  Yes - that's me.
- B.
  Sometimes I avoid conflict.
- C.
  I usually stand up for myself and confront others.
- D.
  If I believe it, I say it. I don't care what anyone thinks.
3.
I think life is a puzzle and if I solve it, I will have a happy life.
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- A.
  Yes - that's me.
- B.
  That's usually true.
- C.
  That's generally not true.
- D.
  That is false.
4.
I don’t need to make my needs a priority.
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- A.
  Yes - Others come first. Then me.
- B.
  Sometimes I can put my needs first.
- C.
  I usually take care of my needs first, then attend to others who need me.
- D.
  I always do as the flight attendants say: "put my mask on first, then assist others" as I go through life.
5.
I don’t want to disappoint.
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- A.
  Yes - I hate to disappoint.
- B.
  There are some people I don't want to disappoint.
- C.
  Rarely do I care if someone is disappointed in me.
- D.
  I really don't care what others think.
6.
If I don’t solve it, everything falls apart.
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- A.
  Yes - the buck stops with me in my world.
- B.
  Sometimes I have to fix things.
- C.
  I do my best on things I can affect, but can't solve everyone's problems.
- D.
  I never have to solve anything for others. I take care of me.
7.
My life would be destroyed if people found out about my real problems.
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- A.
  Yes - that's me. I don't want to talk about it.
- B.
  I can only share what's REALLY happening with a chosen few.
- C.
  I am up front and honest about the tough stuff I deal with, but like to keep some things to myself.
- D.
  I am an open book and have no problem sharing my concerns and problems with people around me.
8.
I think emotions are a waste of time.
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- A.
  True - Feelings confuse everything and take me off course.
- B.
  Feelings have their place, but are illogical.
- C.
  I balance my emotions with smart decisions and actions.
- D.
  False - If my heart isn't in it, I really don't want to pursue it.
9.
I privately have fits of rage.
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- A.
  True. I sometimes cannot contain my anger and frustration.
- B.
  Occasionally I have private outbursts for the injustice in my life.
- C.
  I seldom get really angry, but I have my heated moments.
- D.
  I never have fits of rage.
10.
I struggle with intimacy.
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- A.
  Yes. I cannot seem to be close to anyone. I don't feel safe.
- B.
  I seldom truly feel loved and accepted as I am, but it has happened.
- C.
  I am close to my partner, and we are each other's "safe place."
- D.
  I have found my person, and we are able to share absolutely everything.
11.
I avoid subjects that might upset my partner.
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- A.
  True
- B.
  False

Quiz Outcomes

1.
You have healthy relationships.
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TEST RESULTSYou have been able to be yourself, express your wants and needs, and set boundaries in your relationships.Your friends and loved ones, including your most intimate relationships, are generally healthy. You can pursue your hopes and dreams while being sensitive and caring to those around you. You deal with conflict and will disagree as you see fit, even though it is uncomfortable, because you know it will be easier and more effective to address the issue now than in the future when it has grown into a major crisis.You find others looking to you for guidance.You tend to lead rather than follow.You re not afraid to make changes when they are needed.A Guide to Healthy RelationshipsYou may know others who do not have your healthy skills of standing up for yourself.Do you know people who are always being used?Pleasing and appeasing comes from our childhood training. Getting along and not making waves is taught from infancy. As adults, we have difficult negotiations to handle at work, in our love lives, and with our families. Being everyone else's caretaker is dangerous.Being constantly embroiled in other people's problems, solving their issues financially, emotionally, and legally empowers and enables THEM to use and abuse you. If you know people trapped in this cycle, buy them this bookGet this groundbreaking and controversial new book by Asa Austin.Release the Asshole Within: Stop Being Nice.Available in eBook, Paperback, Hardcover, and Audible.Let's face it, this can be a tough world. All of us need skills to assert ourselves confidently and effectively.In order say' "Yes," we all must learn to first say' "No!"You can have all that you want and still remain a loving friend and mate!Let's stay in touch.Follow me on Social media for videos, posts, and links on letting your true inner asshole shine!Book a 15 minute consultation with yours truly and we’ll come up with some strategies tailored just for your unique situation.
2.
You are in moderate danger of being used by others.
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As a compassionate person, you sometimes put your needs last and elevate others' wants and needs. You often judge the level and severity of someone else's crisis as more immediate and worthy of your attention that your own needs.This is not necessarily bad, but can be frustrating for you and self-defeating. At times you feel slighted and left behind when you are in need yourself. You find that people around you who complain and make poorer decisions than you are getting support and help, but you are often left to suffer alone.Your closest relationship favors your mate when it comes to making decisions on food, trips, money, health needs, and preferences. This bothers you. You have always been a good friend and pride yourself on offering a shoulder to cry on. But you run a moderate risk of being used to clean up others' life messes.How to maintain healthy relationships Why are you compelled to be so helpful?Some of us need more than others and that’s ok. Just remember there’s a wonderful world out there with a lot of amazing people who can enrich your life and offer you a support system. Work at balancing your home and social lives.Are you really going after your passions?It’s ok to take your time to get to know someone before letting them into your life. It’s also ok to walk away from a relationship that isn’t a good fit. If someone is too spontaneous or high energy for you, put some distance between you to relieve tension. There are so many fish in the sea.Are you good but not great?Putting others first can be a habit that will generate a "false self." This is not truly you, but an identity that pleases and appeases others. You will ever be great at your unique calling and mission in this life unless you are free to be your true self.Get this groundbreaking and controversial new book by Asa Austin.Release the Asshole Within: Stop Being Nice.Available in eBook, Paperback, Hardcover, and Audible.Let's face it, this can be a tough world. All of us need skills to assert ourselves confidently and effectively.In order say' "Yes," we all must learn to first say' "No!"You can have all that you want and still remain a loving friend and mate!Let's stay in touch.Follow me on Social media for videos, posts, and links on letting your true inner asshole shine!Book a 15 minute consultation with yours truly and we’ll come up with some strategies tailored just for your unique situation.
3.
You are in danger of breakdown or relationship failure.
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If you continue moving forward in this way, you may remain isolated and disconnected from others - particularly those around you who love you. You may be in an intimate or even long-term relationship, but feel strangely alone. You tend to empathize deeply with people around you. You feel others' pain and are compelled to relieve it. You see this trait as loving and good. And it is. However, you may have internalized some beliefs that need to be challenged.You do so much for others, but these same people put you low on their priority lists. Some disregard you completely. It's not fair, and deep down that makes you angry. Resentment is building up.If this course does not change, your most important and intimate relationship is in danger of infidelity and break up.There is a way to remain loving and have everything you want in life!Get this groundbreaking and controversial new book by Asa Austin.Release the Asshole Within: Stop Being Nice.Available in eBook, Paperback, Hardcover, and Audible.Let's face it, this can be a tough world. All of us need skills to assert ourselves confidently and effectively.In order say' "Yes," we all must learn to first say' "No!"You can have all that you want and still remain a loving friend and mate!Follow me on Social media for videos, posts, and links on letting your true inner asshole shine!Book a 15 minute consultation with yours truly and we’ll come up with some strategies tailored just for your unique situation.

Am I getting used?

Your answers to these 11 questions will score your individual tendencies to be unappreciated or used in relationships.

Quiz Questions

Quiz Outcomes