Are You A Trauma-Savvy Parent or A Trauma-Blocked Parent?

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  How confident are you in recognizing trauma symptoms in children?

  • A.
    I'm quite knowledgeable and can distinguish between trauma and misbehavior.
  • B.
    I know a bit, but sometimes I'm unsure and get reactive.
  • C.
    Honestly, I find it challenging to tell the difference and feel frustrated most of the time.
  • D.
    It doesn't matter really. I parent with consequences and rewards no matter what.
• 2.
  What's the first thing that comes to mind when your child has a meltdown?

  • A.
    I try to understand the underlying trigger that might be causing this.
  • B.
    I wonder if this is just bad behavior.
  • C.
    I assume they're just acting out and need clear discipline.
  • D.
    It's so crazy around here. It really doesn't matter what I do.
• 3.
  How do you handle situations when your child is being defiant?

  • A.
    I approach with empathy, understanding and compassion.
  • B.
    I try to be understanding but sometimes resort to taking things away and yelling.
  • C.
    I believe in setting strict boundaries and consequences.
  • D.
    Frankly, my child only listens when I'm angry, so I yell.
• 4.
  How often do you educate yourself on trauma and its effects on children?

  • A.
    Regularly, I'm always looking to deepen my understanding.
  • B.
    Occasionally, when I come across relevant information.
  • C.
    Not often anymore because I'm tired of looking for answers.
  • D.
    I'm completely over it. I've tried everything and nothing works.
• 5.
  Do you have a support system in place, such as a therapist or support group, for dealing with trauma?

  • A.
    Yes, I have a strong network and professional guidance.
  • B.
    Somewhat, but I could probably use more support.
  • C.
    No, I'm handling things on my own because therapists don't understand our family.
  • D.
    I've lost all my friends and most of my family, so no.
• 6.
  How do you determine your child's emotional needs each day?

  • A.
    I'm attentive to their moods and behaviors, adjusting my approach as needed.
  • B.
    I try to be observant, but I'm often confused by the behaviors.
  • C.
    This is just one long roller coaster ride. Makes no sense to me.
  • D.
    My child just uses emotions to manipulate to get what s/he wants, so I don't really care anymore.
• 7.
  What do you think is missing in your approach to parenting a child who has experienced trauma?

  • A.
    I'm always refining my approach, but I feel pretty confident in my methods.
  • B.
    I could use more strategies for dealing with specific trauma-related behaviors.
  • C.
    I'm not sure, I often feel lost and in need of guidance.
  • D.
    Nothing works, so everything and nothing is missing.

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  Wow, you know your stuff!

  You are trauma savvy. Awesome! Do you know how to parent with that knowledge? If you know a lot and your regulation is still challenged by trauma symptoms in your child, you may benefit from a focused program for healing. Support for parents of traumatized children is hard to come by, but definitely worth it to stay unblocked and thriving in your parenting journey.
• 2.
  You know a little something about trauma.

  You have some information and you could benefit from a little more. What are you doing to keep moving forward in your trauma awareness and trauma responsiveness? You could benefit from a parenting program specifically designed for parents of children experiencing attachment trauma and/or abuse trauma. This is the best way to stay open to your child and to not get blocked with overwhelm, exhaustion and stress.
• 3.
  Whoops, you seem a bit confused.

  You might be confusing trauma symptoms with poor behavior. When you mislabel a behavior as acting out, then you may have a tendency to parent from a punitive perspective, mistreating your traumatized child who is suffering already and who will not likely learn the lesson you intend. when that goes on too long, you are in danger of becoming blocked in your parenting. Being blocked makes it hard to carry on parenting in a trauma-reponsive way. Frankly, it makes it hard to feel good in your family life at all. You might benefit significantly from a specific parenting program that supports parents of children who have experienced abuse or attachment trauma.
• 4.
  You might be experiencing Blocked Parenting.

  When a parent becomes blocked in their parenting, they often feel burnt-out, angry, hopeless, depressed, apathetic, and/or defeated. When this happens, it is really hard to carry on parenting in a way that will be healing for a family. You can feel better and get unblocked, but you will need specific help from a compassionate parenting program that recognizes blocked parenting as a symptom of post adoption or post traumatic stress coupled with a lack of focused supports that work. Help is available. It is not too late.