What Is Your Attachment Style?

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Quiz Questions

1.
1/7: When someone you care about takes a while to reply to a message, you...
- A.
  Start overanalyzing what you said last and feel uneasy.
- B.
  Assume they’re busy and don’t take it personally.
- C.
  Feel relieved—you like them, but too much communication can feel overwhelming.
- D.
  Feel fine at first, but if too much time passes, you get irritated or restless.
2.
2/7: When conflict arises with someone close to you, you tend to...
- A.
  Shut down or create space until things settle.
- B.
  Feel uneasy until the issue is resolved, maybe even blame yourself.
- C.
  React strongly in the moment but later question how you handled it.
- D.
  Stay calm and try to work through it together.
3.
3/7: How do you feel about depending on others for emotional support?
- A.
  I sometimes seek support but later regret being vulnerable.
- B.
  I’m comfortable giving and receiving support.
- C.
  I want reassurance but worry about being too much.
- D.
  I prefer to handle my emotions alone and rarely open up fully.
4.
4/7: Growing up, how did your caregivers typically respond when you showed emotions (e.g., sadness, anger, excitement)?
- A.
  They would acknowledge my feelings and give me space to process them
- B.
  They would comfort me and offer reassurance, but sometimes I felt like I was too much
- C.
  They would react strongly or be confused, and I often had to explain myself afterward.
- D.
  They often dismissed my emotions or told me to “toughen up.”
5.
5/7: How did you typically cope with disagreements or conflicts in your household growing up?
- A.
  I was encouraged to express myself openly and work through things.
- B.
  I tried to smooth things over and avoid tension, even if it meant hiding my true feelings.
- C.
  I withdrew and kept my thoughts to myself, avoiding confrontation.
- D.
  I often reacted impulsively and felt overwhelmed, sometimes feeling misunderstood afterward.
6.
6/7: You’re dating someone new, and they suddenly cancel plans last minute. What’s your immediate reaction?
- A.
  I feel irritated but also tell myself I don’t care, even though I do.
- B.
  I assume they had a good reason and don’t think much of it.
- C.
  I feel a bit relieved—I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go anyway.
- D.
  I wonder if I did something wrong and feel uneasy until they reschedule.
7.
7/7: You’ve had a bad day and really need support. How do you handle it?
- A.
  I reach out to someone, but if they don’t respond quickly, I start feeling worse.
- B.
  I keep it to myself—I don’t want to burden anyone.
- C.
  I talk to someone I trust and feel better after expressing myself.
- D.
  I want to talk to someone, but at the same time, I don’t trust that they’ll really understand.

Quiz Outcomes

1.
You are Avoidant
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You have an avoidant attachment style, which means you tend to prioritize independence in relationships, sometimes to the point of emotional distance. You might feel uncomfortable with too much closeness, struggle to express vulnerability, or need a lot of personal space. In relationships, you may attract people with an anxious attachment style, creating a push-pull dynamic where they seek closeness while you instinctively pull away.How This DevelopedAvoidant attachment usually forms in childhood when a caregiver is emotionally unavailable, dismissive, or expected you to be self-sufficient too soon. You may have learned that expressing emotions led to rejection or that relying on others was unsafe. As a result, you adapted by becoming highly independent and self-reliant.How to HealPractice opening up gradually. Start with small, safe expressions of vulnerability.Recognize your avoidant triggers. Pay attention to when you feel the urge to withdraw and challenge the belief that emotional closeness is dangerous.Reframe independence. True strength includes being able to rely on others while maintaining your autonomy.Lean into relationships with secure people. They can model what a healthy connection looks like.Therapy or coaching. A professional can help you work through the fears that keep you from fully connecting.Want more help healing your attachment? Join our free psychology community below where we discuss topics like this!
2.
You are Anxious
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You have an anxious attachment style, meaning you deeply value connection but often worry about whether others feel the same way. You may fear abandonment, seek reassurance, or overanalyze your partner’s behavior. In relationships, this can lead to over-texting, people-pleasing, or feeling emotionally dysregulated when you don’t receive the level of attention you desire.How This DevelopedAnxious attachment typically forms in childhood when love and attention were inconsistent. A caregiver may have been loving one moment and distant the next, leaving you unsure of when or how affection would be given. This unpredictability led to hyper-vigilance in relationships, where you seek reassurance to confirm you are loved and safe.How to HealStrengthen your self-soothing skills. Learn to regulate your emotions without relying solely on a partner.Challenge negative thoughts. Not every delayed text or canceled plan means someone is abandoning you.Develop a secure sense of self-worth. Your value doesn’t depend on external validation.Seek secure relationships. A secure partner can provide consistent reassurance without enabling anxious behaviors.Therapy or coaching. Healing anxious attachment often involves reprogramming deep-seated fears of rejection.Want more help healing your attachment? Join our free psychology community below where we discuss topics like this!
3.
You are Anxious-Avoidant
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You have a fearful-avoidant (anxious-avoidant) attachment style, which means you experience both a deep craving for closeness and an intense fear of it. You may cycle between wanting intimacy and pushing people away, feeling both needy and distant at different times. This can create emotional turbulence in relationships, where you struggle to trust others and yourself.How This DevelopedThis attachment style often forms in response to childhood experiences where caregivers were both a source of love and a source of fear—such as through emotional neglect, inconsistent parenting, or trauma. Because of this, relationships feel unpredictable, leading to a fear of both abandonment and engulfment.How to HealBuild self-trust. Learn to recognize your emotions without immediately reacting to them.Identify your patterns. Notice when you're about to push someone away or cling too tightly.Practice emotional regulation. Meditation, breathwork, and journaling can help you manage emotional swings.Develop healthy relationships. Being with a secure person can help stabilize your attachment wounds.Work through past trauma. Therapy, EMDR, or inner child work can help resolve the deep fears that drive this attachment style.Want more help healing your attachment? Join our free psychology community below where we discuss topics like this!
4.
You are Secure
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You have a secure attachment style, which means you are comfortable with intimacy and independence. You trust that relationships can be safe and fulfilling, and you generally don’t fear abandonment or emotional closeness. In relationships, you communicate openly, set healthy boundaries, and navigate conflict with a sense of security rather than panic.Why This MattersPeople with secure attachment tend to form stable, healthy relationships and experience greater emotional well-being. If you have a secure attachment, you’re in a great position to help others feel safe in relationships, whether that’s a romantic partner, friend, or family member.How to Maintain Secure AttachmentContinue self-awareness. Even secure people can develop insecurities in stressful situations—staying mindful helps.Lead with empathy. You can be a model for others who struggle with attachment wounds.Keep growing. Secure attachment doesn’t mean perfection; personal growth is a lifelong process.Want more help healing your attachment? Join our free psychology community below where we discuss topics like this!

What Is Your Attachment Style?

Relationship Quiz. Are you Avoidant, Anxious, Secure or Anxious-Fearful?

Quiz Questions

Quiz Outcomes