What Kind of Clevelander Are You?

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Quiz Questions

1.
It’s a Saturday morning—what’s your move?
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- A.
  Brunch, baby. Avocado toast and a mimosa flight are calling my name.
- B.
  Running errands but making it ✨aesthetic✨ (yes, that means Target and Starbucks).
- C.
  What’s Saturday? Every day is the same when you live in the middle of nowhere.
- D.
  Rolling into a diner that hasn’t updated its menu since the ‘70s and ordering “the usual.” 🧂
- E.
  Checking out a new museum exhibit, followed by deep intellectual conversation (or just a lot of wine).
- F.
  Out the door before sunrise, hiking boots on, disappearing into the Metroparks like a cryptid. 🫎
2.
You have guests from out of town. Where are you dragging them?
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- A.
  To the hottest new restaurant where I’ll pretend I go all the time.
- B.
  On a forced march through the Metroparks. They WILL appreciate nature.
- C.
  Uh, they can entertain themselves. I live too far out for that nonsense.
- D.
  My favorite hole-in-the-wall diner. They’re getting the full, gritty Cleveland experience.
- E.
  The Aquarium or the Art Museum—something fun but easy.
- F.
  A play, a gallery opening, or some niche underground art event.
3.
How do you feel about downtown parking?
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- A.
  What’s parking? I just bike.
- B.
  I’d rather wrestle a bear than parallel park in the city.
- C.
  I complain about it, but ultimately I still go.
- D.
  I have exactly one secret free parking spot and I will never reveal its location.
- E.
  I take the RTA because I am superior.
- F.
  It’s the price I pay for the urban lifestyle.
4.
What’s your ideal Cleveland meal?
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- A.
  A perfectly curated charcuterie board with a glass of red.
- B.
  Something new and trendy. Bonus points for craft cocktails.
- C.
  A burger and fries from a solid family-friendly joint.
- D.
  A sandwich packed in my backpack, eaten on a scenic overlook.
- E.
  Something I grilled myself, ideally while wearing Crocs.
- F.
  A greasy breakfast plate that costs under $7 and includes unlimited coffee refills.
5.
Pick the Cleveland weather forecast that fits your soul.
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- A.
  Rooftop patio season—when the city thrives.
- B.
  A crisp fall day, perfect for a pumpkin patch and some Instagram content.
- C.
  A summer thunderstorm over the lake—dramatic and beautiful.
- D.
  Overcast, a little dreary, but steady—just like my favorite diner.
- E.
  The kind of snowstorm that makes the national news.
- F.
  The first warm day in spring when everyone forgets how to drive.
6.
Someone calls Cleveland a “flyover city.” What’s your reaction?
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- A.
  Excuse me? Have you even been here??
- B.
  I don’t care. More space for me.
- C.
  Okay, but have you tried our food??
- D.
  Laughs in world-class orchestra.
- E.
  These people don’t know real diners and I feel sorry for them.
- F.
  ::shrugs:: Fine, stay away. More lakefront for me.
7.
What’s your ideal Cleveland neighborhood?
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- A.
  University Circle—museums, culture, perfection.
- B.
  Ohio City—trendy, walkable, great bars.
- C.
  Lakewood—chill, but still close to everything.
- D.
  I don’t need a neighborhood. I just need trails.
- E.
  The middle of nowhere. Give me land.
- F.
  Wherever my favorite greasy spoon is. That’s home.
8.
You can only keep one Cleveland tradition. What is it?
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- A.
  Cavs games—because, let’s be real, we deserve another championship.
- B.
  Lake Erie sunsets. Everything else can go.
- C.
  Free museum admission. Let’s never change that.
- D.
  Complaining about the Browns but watching anyway.
- E.
  All the new restaurant openings. I live for the scene.
- F.
  Late-night diner runs.
9.
Someone gifts you CLE merch. What is it?
- A.
  A Metroparks sticker for my car.
- B.
  A tote bag from the Cleveland Museum of Art.
- C.
  A 20-year-old Browns shirt that I already own...
- D.
  A shirt that just says “O-H” because I’m legally obligated to respond.
- E.
  A Guardians hat that I will wear forever ever.
- F.
  A stylish, minimalist “Cleveland Against the World” hoodie.
10.
Finally—pick your soundtrack to a perfect Cleveland day.
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- A.
  The orchestra tuning up at Severance Hall.
- B.
  The comforting clatter of dishes at a no-frills diner.
- C.
  “Cleveland Rocks” – Drew Carey knew what was up.
- D.
  The waves crashing at Edgewater.
- E.
  “Hang On Sloopy” – because duh.
- F.
  The sound of a grill sizzling, because I am always cooking something.

Quiz Outcomes

1.
The Trendy Urbanite
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You live for the vibe. You know every rooftop bar, every new brunch spot, and exactly how to make Cleveland look like NYC on Instagram. Parking is your arch-nemesis, but you suffer through it because this city is worth it.So, did we nail it? Or are you demanding a recount? Share your results and tag us @thisisclevelandish—we need to know if we got it right!
2.
The Suburban Superstar
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You love the city, but let’s be real—you also love your driveway and your Costco membership. You know all the best spots but also know that home is where the short commute and free parking is.So, did we nail it? Or are you demanding a recount? Share your results and tag us @thisisclevelandish—we need to know if we got it right!
3.
The Country Critic
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Downtown? I don’t know her. You live where the air is fresh, the cows are plentiful, and a “traffic jam” means getting stuck behind a tractor. You love Cleveland… from a safe distance.So, did we nail it? Or are you demanding a recount? Share your results and tag us @thisisclevelandish—we need to know if we got it right!
4.
The Greasy Spoon Loyalist
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You don’t care about trends. You care about where to get a plate of bacon, eggs, and toast for under $5. You know the real Cleveland is in its no-frills diners and dive bars, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.So, did we nail it? Or are you demanding a recount? Share your results and tag us @thisisclevelandish—we need to know if we got it right!
5.
The Culture Buff (With a Side of Wine)
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Forget sports—give you a gallery opening, an indie film screening, or a wine tasting and you’re happy. You probably correct people when they mispronounce “Severance” and own at least one artsy tote bag.So, did we nail it? Or are you demanding a recount? Share your results and tag us @thisisclevelandish—we need to know if we got it right!
6.
The Nature Nomad
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Cleveland’s cool and all, but have you seen the Metroparks?? You’re happiest outdoors, whether that’s kayaking the Cuyahoga or hiking a trail no one else knows about. City life? Couldn’t be you.So, did we nail it? Or are you demanding a recount? Share your results and tag us @thisisclevelandish—we need to know if we got it right!