What Is Your Primary Anxiety Language?

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Quiz Questions

1.
What motivates you to take certain action? Or change when you are tired?
- A.
  Being afraid of letting people down and them being mad, disappointed, or upset with me
- B.
  That you won’t be able to make the money you need to survive or provide for others
- C.
  The hope of what’s possible - that this next thing will change everything
- D.
  What other people will say about me and how they think or treat me
- E.
  Whatever the right thing to do is
- F.
  Nothing really motivates me, I’m tired and struggle having any energy or motivation
2.
Which Disney Villain Character do you relate to the most?
- A.
  Mother Gothel (Tangled)
- B.
  Hans (Frozen)
- C.
  Ursula (Little Mermaid)
- D.
  Scar (Lion King)
- E.
  Jafar (Aladdin)
- F.
  Lava Monster (Moana)
- G.
  Queen of Hearts (Alice in Wonderland)
3.
Which of these are closest to how others would describe you?
- A.
  Organized & compassionate
- B.
  Outgoing & fun
- C.
  Creative & Kind
- D.
  Ambitious & energized
- E.
  Easy-going & Creative
- F.
  Trustworthy & Loyal
4.
Of this list which one of these is MOST important to you?
- A.
  Being surrounded by the people that love you and who you love me
- B.
  My family, friends, and community
- C.
  Having the freedom to do what you want, when you want and see the world
- D.
  Being independent and as self-sufficient as possible. Everything you need or want can come from you.
- E.
  Having a safe, comfortable home with lots of money in the bank
- F.
  Becoming the best at what you do and having massive positive impact on your community
5.
What genre are you most likely to watch on tv?
- A.
  Historical Fiction/ period dramas
- B.
  Superhero/ Sci-Fi / Fantasy
- C.
  Reality TV
- D.
  True Crime/ Crime Drama / Crime Based shows
- E.
  Sports - all things sports
6.
When you are having a conflict/disagreement with someone else what is USUALLY your response?
- A.
  You are so angry you feel like lashing out and usually regret it later
- B.
  Cry and feel overwhelmed because you usually don’t know what to do.
- C.
  Apologize immediately. So it can be over and try to make the other person feel better.
- D.
  Avoid it until it has passed if possible. Only talk about it if it NEEDS to be talked about
- E.
  Jump into the action - you feel uncomfortable and antsy. You need to talk about every detail about it
- F.
  Get angry and frustrated and spiral into all the ways the relationship is wrong or the person is in the wrong
- G.
  Analyze the situation and go through all the ways you messed up first to determine if something needs to be sad or talked about
7.
Which part of your body do you experience the most aches, pains, tightness or discomfort?
- A.
  Lower back
- B.
  Arms & Hands
- C.
  Legs & Feet
- D.
  Chest & Upper Back
- E.
  Neck, Shoulders, Head/Temples
8.
What do you remember worrying about the most when you were a kid
- A.
  Money, if there was going to be food in the fridge, or your family having enough
- B.
  How you physically looked compared to other people
- C.
  Going to school, getting good grades, and fitting in with others
- D.
  That something bad would happen to you or your family
- E.
  What other people think and how they would treat you
- F.
  Your punishment if you got caught breaking rules or upsetting the adults in your life
- G.
  Whether your siblings were taken care of, happy, and safe
- H.
  How your parents were doing emotionally, physically, or their health and happiness in general
9.
What did you play or pretend as a child?
- A.
  First person Play - A main character going through life and interacting with other people and solving problems
- B.
  Fantasy Play (magic, other worlds, etc)
- C.
  I didn’t play well by myself - I needed other people
- D.
  Creative Play (arts & crafts, inventing, science experiments etc)
- E.
  Role Playing games (pretending to be a parent, professional, or specific character)
- F.
  A super-hero saving the day from a bad guy
- G.
  Battles or competitions between two groups of people
10.
Which of the following do you like to have to sleep?
- A.
  I lay there - it usually takes awhile to actually fall asleep
- B.
  I fall asleep and have a hard time waking up
- C.
  I feel wired at night so it’s hard to settle for sleep
- D.
  I can fall asleep but can’t stay asleep
- E.
  Sleep….what sleep?
11.
What are you most proud of?
- A.
  All that I have accomplished professionally
- B.
  The family and community I have created
- C.
  My physical health journey
- D.
  The amount of money I make - I never would of dream this as a child
- E.
  All the new things I try and how I challenge myself
12.
What are you most embarrassed about or ashamed of from the past?
- A.
  How I have treated people in the past
- B.
  How I treated myself in the past
- C.
  Trusting people I shouldn't have
- D.
  Not following my dreams and listening to everyone else
- E.
  Talking myself out of something because I thought it might be hard
- F.
  Quitting before I finished something
- G.
  Ignoring problems or judging the problems instead of trying to solve them

Quiz Outcomes

1.
Overachiever Language
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Congrats! You have the Overachiever language as your primary AL. This means your core fear is feeling unseen and undervalued, driving cycles of anxiety and stuckness. You often make lengthy to-do lists and have ambitious 10-year plans. Your inner work is hidden in patterns of ambition and hyper-independence. You rarely take the time to appreciate yourself and may feel uncomfortable receiving praise, as life can feel transactional. Letting yourself receive or rest is challenging, and your anxiety is reflected in your inability to slow down, an obsession with achievement, and a tendency to live for the future. You might catch yourself thinking, “I’ll rest when” or “I’ll be happy once”Core Fear: Being unimportant, unseen, or undervalued.Recommendations:Creative expression, like dance or art, to help you be present and process emotions without pressure. Celebrate perceived failures.Focus on the feelings you want to experience each day instead of tasks.
2.
Martyr Language
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Congrats! You have the Martyr language as your primary AL. This means your core fear is feeling like a bad person, undeserving of love or good things. You often feel compelled to say yes, prioritizing serving others to be perceived as good. Saying no can feel like risking a relationship or facing punishment, driving you to seek validation in your actions.You struggle with guilt when asserting boundaries and often compare your suffering to others to dismiss your feelings. This can lead to frustration when people demand more from you while feeling less connected when those needs disappear. Your anxiety speaks through the need to always be “the helper,” sacrificing your well-being. You might say, “I’m fine, as long as everyone else is okay,” though you know that's not true.Core Fear: Believing you are a bad person unworthy of love.Recommendations:Explore boundary-setting workshops and assertiveness training. Weightlifting helps you build resilience and enforce boundaries.
3.
Controller Language
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Congrats! You have the Controller language as your primary AL. Your core fear is around instability and feeling unsafe. This language has two dialects: the Micromanager, who struggles to delegate and needs all the answers, and the Procrastinator, who craves information but has difficulty deciding.You might feel overwhelmed by big ideas and find long-term planning daunting, often hyperfixating on past and present options. Holding onto items feels safe because you worry you may need them in the future due to past experiences of lacking resources.Your anxiety is often felt physically, affecting your digestive system and overall well-being. You might catch yourself thinking, “I can’t let go of this,” believing that more control will bring peace.Core Fear: Instability or lack of resources.Recommendations:Psychodrama therapy to express worries and release control. Daily gratitude practice.Regular chiropractic visits and partner stretches promote body regulation and balance.
4.
Pleaser Language
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Congrats! The Pleaser language is your primary Language. Your core fear is abandonment, believing you must keep others happy to feel worthy of love. This leads to mirroring others' desires and losing your identity, often resulting in feelings of loneliness, even in crowds. Your anxiety manifests through a desperate need to please, making interactions feel hollow.You may think you’re introverted but feel overwhelmed in groups because you can’t mirror multiple people at once. If someone is upset, you might instinctively want to flee. You’ve learned that the safest way to survive is to become what others desire, but this leaves you feeling disconnected.Core Fear: abandonment and unmet needs.Recommendations:Engage in energetic cord-cutting and intuitive exploration, while DBT can be beneficial. Try solo outings or write "Open When" letters to yourself.Learn More: Ready to embrace the Pleaser? Grab the Therapy Roadmap for just $11!
5.
Numb(er) Language
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Congrats! You have the Numb(er) language as your primary AL. Your core fear is connecting with your emotions and true self, leading you to numb your feelings, resulting in addictive behaviors or a desire to escape. Your anxiety speaks through avoidance and detachment, making emotional connection feel daunting. You learned early on that parts of yourself—emotions, desires, or mistakes—were threats to your survival, leading to shrinking or detaching from those aspects. To compensate for this loss, you might turn to external things, making them part of your identity. As you numb one area, it inevitably spreads to your whole self, chasing dopamine hits just to feel anything.Core Fear: Connecting with self and emotions.Recommendations:Engage in somatic experiencing, try Holotropic breathwork, and explore art therapy for emotional release. Energy healings help reconnect your body with your soul. Incorporate mindful movement like dance to reconnect with your body and emotions.