What's your survival role in relationships?

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Quiz Questions

1.
Choose what fits your first instinct. There are 8 questions, and you can select up to 2 answers per question if more than one feels true. There’s no right or wrong — just patterns to explore. Go with what feels most familiar.
- A.
  Got it.
- B.
  Let's go!
2.
1. When you're involved in conflict with someone you care about, how do you usually respond?
- A.
  You try to solve the problem immediately so things don’t spiral.
- B.
  You get defensive or double down—You feel like you have to stand your ground.
- C.
  You apologize and try to smooth things over.
- D.
  You stay quiet or back down—it’s not worth making things worse.
- E.
  Pause, reflect, and respond honestly—even if it’s uncomfortable.
3.
2. When you express a boundary or need, you feel...
- A.
  Afraid it will create distance or tension.
- B.
  Like you have to justify or explain it in detail so you’re not misunderstood.
- C.
  Firm and intense—your boundaries are non-negotiable.
- D.
  Guilty or selfish for speaking up.
- E.
  Clear and calm, trusting that honoring your needs is healthy—even if others don’t like it.
4.
3. When you're overwhelmed or emotionally flooded, how do you usually cope?
- A.
  Double down, take charge, and push through discomfort by staying productive and in control.
- B.
  You try to fix others’ emotions to avoid your own discomfort—if everyone’s okay, maybe you will be too.
- C.
  Numb out or shut down — you scroll, binge-watch, stuff emotions with food or alcohol, or mentally check out.
- D.
  Get busy organizing or solving problems—it gives you a sense of control when things feel chaotic.
- E.
  None of the above
5.
4. Growing up, you felt safest when:
- A.
  Everyone got along and no one raised their voice.
- B.
  You were being “good," not upsetting anyone, and keeping everyone happy.
- C.
  You were being helpful or staying busy.
- D.
  You were in control or handling things on your own.
- E.
  You could express yourself honestly and still be loved.
6.
5. When someone offers to support or care for you, you usually:
- A.
  Feel uncomfortable or suspicious—depending on others makes you feel weak.
- B.
  Immediately think about how to repay them—you hate feeling indebted.
- C.
  Worry they’ll see you as needy—and you don’t want to be a burden.
- D.
  You shut down and say “I’m fine,” even if part of you wishes you could accept help.
- E.
  None of the above
7.
6. When someone you care about is upset, you tend to:
- A.
  Take over the situation and start offering solutions.
- B.
  Feel annoyed by their emotional neediness.
- C.
  Pull away and stay quiet—you're not sure what to say, and you don’t want to make it worse.
- D.
  Try to cheer them up or say the “right” thing—deep down, you’re afraid they’re mad at you or it’s your fault.
- E.
  None of the above
8.
7. In close relationships, you feel most unsettled when…
- A.
  The air feels thick with tension and no one is saying anything.
- B.
  You’re not sure how to help, and you hate feeling useless.
- C.
  Someone is upset with you—you feel like you’ve failed or done something wrong.
- D.
  You sense someone wants more from you emotionally than you’re ready to give.
- E.
  You’re out of alignment with yourself. External tension is manageable—self-betrayal is not.
9.
8. You feel most valuable when:
- A.
  You're independently achieving, you feel strong—and you don’t have to risk being disappointed by anyone.
- B.
  You’re solving problems or being productive.
- C.
  You’re staying quiet and calm to avoid conflict. You’d rather keep the peace than make waves.
- D.
  Others are happy with you and you feel appreciated.
- E.
  None of the above.

Quiz Outcomes

1.
People-Pleaser
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You’ve learned to make others comfortable, even if it means shrinking yourself. You’re kind, loyal, and deeply attuned to others’ needs—but it often comes at the cost of your own.You might apologize even when you’re not wrong, avoid asking for what you need, or feel guilty setting boundaries. ✨ You can care deeply about others without being responsible for their feelings. You can have compassion and hold boundaries. You can stay true to yourself—because your needs matter too.
2.
Fixer
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You jump in, take charge, and try to make everything better. You’re resourceful, competent, and everyone’s go-to problem-solver. But underneath the action is a deeper fear: if you’re not fixing, are you still needed?You may carry emotional burdens that were never yours to hold. It’s time to put them down.✨ You don’t have to earn love through usefulness. Your worth is not defined by what you do for others—it’s in who you are.
3.
Peacekeeper
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You’re the calm in the storm. You avoid drama, smooth over tension, and pride yourself on being easy to be around. You likely learned early on that staying quiet was the safest path.But avoiding conflict can mean avoiding yourself. Your truth, your voice, your needs.✨ What if your power isn’t in disappearing—but in showing up fully, even when it’s uncomfortable?
4.
Empowered
5.
Fiercely Independent

What's your survival role in relationships?

You learned to stay safe by playing a role—People-Pleaser, Fixer, Peacekeeper, or Fiercely Independent.What's your default role?

Quiz Questions

Quiz Outcomes