What's Your Conflict Style? (And Why It's Sabotaging Connection)

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  How often do your disagreements turn into full-blown arguments?

  • A.
    Almost daily
  • B.
    A few times a week
  • C.
    Every now and then
  • D.
    Rarely, but when they happen, they feel big
• 2.
  When you and your partner disagree, what happens next? 

  • A.
    We go silent and avoid the issue
  • B.
    One of us blows up, and the other shuts down
  • C.
    We go in circles but never find a solution
  • D.
    We talk, but it still feels unresolved
• 3.
  What’s your biggest frustration in your relationship?  

  • A.
    Feeling unheard or dismissed
  • B.
    One of us always feels like we’re doing more
  • C.
    Struggles with intimacy or emotional connection
  • D.
    We can’t seem to get on the same page about the future
• 4.
  How do you usually repair after an argument?

  • A.
    We pretend it never happened and move on
  • B.
    We apologize but don’t really address the deeper issue
  • C.
    We talk about it but end up repeating the same fight later
  • D.
    We actively try to resolve it, but resentment lingers
• 5.
  What do you usually argue about the most?

  • A.
    Small things that build up over time (chores, daily tasks)
  • B.
    Bigger issues like money, parenting, or future plans
  • C.
    One of us feeling unappreciated or unheard
  • D.
    We don’t argue often, but when we do, it feels intense
• 6.
  When a disagreement happens, what do you wish your partner would do differently? 

  • A.
    Actually bring things up instead of ignoring them
  • B.
    Listen without getting defensive
  • C.
    Stay calm instead of reacting emotionally
  • D.
    Show they care even when we’re not fighting
• 7.
  How do you and your partner express love outside of arguments? 

  • A.
    We don’t talk much about feelings—it feels awkward
  • B.
    We try, but one of us always wants more than the other
  • C.
    We do small things for each other, but it’s not always noticed
  • D.
    We say "I love you," but sometimes it feels like a routine
• 8.
  What’s your biggest fear when it comes to your relationship? 

  • A.
    That I’ll keep feeling unappreciated and unseen
  • B.
    That we’ll keep drifting apart and become roommates
  • C.
    That we’ll wake up one day and feel like strangers
  • D.
    That we’ll never fix this cycle, and it’ll always feel this hard.
• 9.
  What happens after a disagreement?

  • A.
    We pretend it never happened and move on
  • B.
    One of us apologizes, but nothing really changes
  • C.
    We try to talk about it, but we don’t actually solve the issue
  • D.
    We both feel distant for a while before things go back to “normal”
• 10.
  If your relationship had a theme song, which would it be?

  • A.
    Image Source

    "We're Not Gonna Take It" Twisted Sister
  • B.
    Image Source

    "Don't Speak" No Doubt
  • C.
    Image Source

    "I Will Always Love You" Whitney Houston
  • D.
    Image Source

    "Stuck in the Middle with You" Stealers Wheel

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  The Avoiders

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  You sweep things under the rug and avoid conflict, but it’s building up tension.You and your partner don’t have explosive fights, but that doesn’t mean everything is fine. Instead of openly discussing issues, you both tend to ignore, downplay, or avoid them, hoping they’ll resolve on their own. But instead of going away, those unspoken frustrations pile up, creating distance between you.Why This Keeps Happening:You might not even notice you’re avoiding the hard stuff—because you’ve gotten good at pushing through or focusing on everything else. Conflict feels like a threat to stability, so you sidestep it. But connection doesn’t happen without emotional honesty. Why This Pattern Feels Safe to You:At some point in your life—likely early on—you learned that conflict, intensity, or needing others felt unsafe. So you adapted by withdrawing, shutting down, or mentally “checking out.”You’re not cold or unfeeling—you’re actually sensitive. But overwhelm and emotional intensity feel threatening, so you cope by avoiding or distancing.You might:Keep conversations surface-level or lightLeave the room (physically or emotionally) during conflictStruggle to stay grounded when things get hardAppear “fine” when you’re really disconnected insideYour intention isn’t to hurt your partner—it’s to protect yourself from being engulfed by intensity you weren’t taught how to handle.How to Break the Cycle:Practice staying physically present when tension arises.Use grounding tools like deep breathing or hand-holding before discussing tough topics.Set a time-bound window to talk: “Let’s just talk for 10 minutes and see how we feel.”Inside Powerful Partnership, we’ll show you how to communicate effectively—so you can stop walking on eggshells and start feeling truly connected again.
• 2.
  The Exploders & Withdrawers

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  You feel everything deeply—until it’s too much.When conflict arises, your response is often fast, intense, and hard to contain. You might speak before thinking, raise your voice, or push hard to make your point. But once the storm passes, you often pull away, feeling regretful, shut down, or emotionally wiped out.This push-pull within yourself—exploding outward, then withdrawing inward—creates an emotional rollercoaster that leaves you feeling misunderstood, exhausted, and alone in your experience.Why This Keeps Happening:You likely learned early on that control equals safety. When things feel unpredictable or emotionally charged, your nervous system goes into overdrive. You defend. You react. And then, when it all becomes too much, you disappear—physically or emotionally.This pattern helped you protect your heart, but over time, it makes connection harder to sustain.Why This Pattern Feels Safe to You:You may have grown up in an environment where vulnerability wasn’t safe—or where big emotions went unchecked. As a result, you now react in two ways:“I’ll get big so I don’t get hurt.” “And then I’ll disappear so I don’t say something I’ll regret.”You might:Speak harshly or defensively in the momentStruggle to regulate anger or frustrationFeel guilty after blowupsPull away or go numb to avoid further conflictDistrust your partner’s intentions, even when they’re tryingDeep down, you want peace, softness, and connection—but letting someone in feels risky.How to Break the CycleName it before it owns you. Practice saying: “I’m starting to feel overwhelmed, I need a second.”Create a reset ritual. Set a consistent way to reconnect after conflict—like a 30-second hug or shared walk.Use private reflection. Before reacting, write your thoughts down—even a few sentences. It gives your nervous system a buffer.You don’t need to keep navigating this alone. Inside Powerful Partnership, we help you:Learn how to stay grounded when emotions riseCommunicate clearly without shutting down or lashing outRebuild connection after conflict—without blame or shame Let conflict bring you closer—not push you apart.
• 3.
  The Loopers   

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  You argue in circles without real resolution, leaving you both exhausted.You and your partner try to communicate, but it feels like you’re going in circles. You might talk about the issue, but instead of actually solving it, you find yourselves back in the same disagreement a week later. It’s frustrating, exhausting, and makes you wonder: Why can't we just fix this?Why This Keeps Happening:You might feel like you're trying to solve the problem—but because you're both emotionally triggered, you end up repeating the same script instead of making progress.The real issue isn’t fully addressed—so it keeps coming back. Both partners feel like they’re repeating themselves, but nothing changes. There’s no clear resolution or next steps after disagreements.Why This Pattern Feels Safe to You:Structure, clarity, and logic help you feel secure—especially in emotionally charged situations. If things feel chaotic, unresolved, or messy, it triggers a sense of internal instability.So, you tend to go over the same issue again and again—not because you’re being difficult, but because you’re trying to make sense of it and find resolution.You might:Get stuck on “how things should have gone”Feel frustrated when conversations don’t feel completeKeep bringing things up in hopes of finally “solving” itFeel emotionally distant when things feel disorganized or off-trackThis most likely developed as a way to make sense of chaos or unpredictability in your environment—but love and connection don’t always follow clean formulas.How to Break the CycleReplace the urge to “fix it" with the goal to understand your partner’s experience.Create a shared ritual for closure (e.g., “This conversation is done for now, and we’ll revisit it calmly tomorrow”).Remind yourself that imperfection is part of connection.Inside Powerful Partnership, we’ll give you the exact framework to finally break this pattern and communicate in a way that actually leads to change
• 4.
  The Slow Burners

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  You don’t argue often, but resentment is building beneath the surface.Your relationship might look “fine” on the outside—maybe you don’t have big explosive fights—but something still feels off. Instead of talking about it, you both brush it aside, hoping it will get better on its own. The problem? That unspoken tension turns into quiet resentment, and over time, it creates distance.Why This Keeps Happening:Issues don’t feel urgent, so they get ignored. One or both of you keeps emotions bottled up instead of addressing them. Over time, the emotional connection fades, making it harder to feel close.You may not even notice how heavy it's gotten—until a small thing triggers a bigger wave of emotion you've been carrying.Why This Pattern Feels Safe to You:You probably learned that it’s safer to keep things in than risk being too much, too needy, or too emotional. So you quietly hold things in, let tension build, and “power through” instead of speaking up. You might:Appear calm or passive during argumentsFeel heavy or tired from holding everything inResent your partner but struggle to express itHave a hard time naming your own needsFeel emotionally numb or checked out from the relationshipEmotional suppression doesn’t mean peace—it usually leads to distance or burnout.How to Break the Cycle:Write down frustrations before speaking them—put words to the slow burn.Set boundaries gently but clearly.Start expressing needs through low-stakes asks (e.g., “Could we have 5 minutes just to be together tonight?”)Inside Powerful Partnership, we teach couples how to reconnect emotionally and physically—so small problems don’t turn into big ones.