Leadership Attachment Style Quiz

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  How do you typically feel when an employee comes to you with a problem?

  • A.
    Curious and ready to support them.
  • B.
    I worry that I won’t say the right thing or help them enough.
  • C.
    I wish they could have solved it on their own.
  • D.
    Depending on which employee and what the problem is, I am torn between helping and wanting to avoid it.
• 2.
  When giving feedback, I usually…

  • A.
    I can be direct and sometimes come across as overly harsh, but at other times, I tend to be passive and hope they eventually figure it out on their own.
  • B.
    Come to them with clear feedback and check in on how it lands.
  • C.
    I have a tendency to over-explain while trying to soften the message.
  • D.
    Keep it brief and unemotional. Emotions don’t need to be part of these types of conversations.
• 3.
  When an employee disagrees with your decision, how do you react?

  • A.
    I feel insecure and may over-explain to justify myself.
  • B.
    I ignore their concerns and stick to my decision.
  • C.
    I often feel like I either can't trust what the employee is saying or I feel disrespected.
  • D.
    I listen to their perspective and explain my reasoning.
• 4.
  When an employee misses expectations, I tend to…

  • A.
    Take it personally and wonder if I failed them.
  • B.
    Discuss the issue constructively and create a plan for improvement.
  • C.
    Point out that they missed the expectations and feel disrespected because you already explained it to them very clearly.
  • D.
    Ignore emotional aspects and focus only on performance.
• 5.
  When an employee challenges your authority, you…

  • A.
    Listen to them but feel uncomfortable with the conflict. You don't like overly-emotional conversations.
  • B.
    Feel like your intelligence is being questioned which is really frustrating.
  • C.
    Feel like they don't like me, over-explain my reasoning, and sometimes fold to what they want instead.
  • D.
    Address it calmly and find a productive resolution.
• 6.
  When you’re feeling overwhelmed as a leader, what do you do?

  • A.
    Ignore it and push through alone.
  • B.
    Push towards burnout and get everything done while feeling resentment or betrayal towards the people who don't notice all of the work you do.
  • C.
    Keep working excessively and worry that you are not doing something right. Seek reassurance from others.
  • D.
    Acknowledge it, talk to your boss about it, and try to make plans to lower your stress.
• 7.
  How do you feel when you need help as a leader?

  • A.
    Afraid to ask. If I ask for help, I will feel like a burden. I don’t want to be seen as someone who ruffles feathers.
  • B.
    Comfortable asking for advice and learning from others.
  • C.
    I rarely ask for help and prefer to figure things out alone. If I’m doing something wrong, they’ll tell me.
  • D.
    I don’t want to seem incompetent so I will try and figure it out first. If I do have to ask for help, then at least I have covered all of my bases and sound intelligent about the problem.
• 8.
  What describes your leadership presence?

  • A.
    Professional and work oriented. I keep emotions out of work.
  • B.
    Warm, accommodating, and agreeable. I prefer to be friends with my employees.
  • C.
    I am a strong leader because I have been through a lot in my life. My employees know that
  • D.
    Approachable but structured. My employees know I care about them and I am here to support them.
• 9.
  How do you react when an employee gives you feedback?

  • A.
    I appreciate constructive feedback and compare it with my values to use it to grow.
  • B.
    I feel like they don’t understand my position or me. I worry about what else they are holding on to and wonder if there’s another shoe about to drop.
  • C.
    I dismiss it, but feel shame if someone purposely makes me feel bad about it.
  • D.
    Feedback is hard for me because I never want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I would worry about what it means to our relationship and if I messed something up.
• 10.
  When delegating tasks, I tend to…

  • A.
    Avoid delegating because I want to make sure it’s done right.
  • B.
    Worry some people will get upset or like me less if I give them certain tasks.
  • C.
    Assign tasks with clear expectations and trust my team to follow through.
  • D.
    Assign tasks conditionally, depending on what the task is. I don’t fully trust some of my employees to do it correctly. I’ll confront them if they do something wrong.
• 11.
  My leadership philosophy is best described as…

  • A.
    I am knowledgeable and tell it like it is. I have no problem confronting people if they overstep or get disrespectful with me.
  • B.
    Leading with trust, communication, and accountability. It is important to be able to support my employees and I trust they will let me know what they need.
  • C.
    Keeping professional distance and focusing on performance.
  • D.
    I want everyone on the team to like and approve of me.
• 12.
  When making decisions, I typically… 

  • A.
    Gather input but feel confident in my final choice.
  • B.
    Check in with my team, but honestly, I worry someone might lie to my face about how they actually feel about the decision I made.
  • C.
    Worry about how others will perceive my decision. Sometimes I struggle with indecisiveness or change my mind frequently.
  • D.
    Make decisions independently and expect others to follow.

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  You are a securely attached leader! Click here for more details.

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  You’ve done the work and it shows. Secure leaders lead with self-trust, emotional clarity, and relational intelligence. You likely know how to hold boundaries, communicate directly, and regulate yourself under pressure. You lead from a place of connection, not control, and that’s powerful.You might still struggle with things like:Navigating relationships with avoidant or anxious team membersFeeling overstretched or under-supported Doubting your decisions when stakes feel high Slipping into old patterns under stress (because, hello! you're still human)Even secure leaders need support. Especially the ones holding space for everyone else.If you want to strengthen these skills, get clear on what’s next for you, or lead with even more impact and ease, I would love to help.👉 Tap below to explore my coaching options and learn more about The Secure Leader coaching program.You don’t have to do it alone. And you don’t have to burn out to make a difference.
• 2.
  You’re a Fearful Avoidant Leader. And that makes total sense. Click here for more details.

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  You’re likely incredibly self-aware, emotionally intelligent, and deeply caring, but leadership doesn’t always feel safe to you. You might crave closeness with your team, but also feel overwhelmed by emotional demands. You want to trust others, but when things get tense, it’s easier to shut down, go silent, or take on everything yourself.Here’s what’s real:Fearful avoidant leaders often had to lead themselves long before they ever led others. That survival wisdom is powerful, but it can also create friction.You might be struggling with:Wanting connection but fearing vulnerabilityBeing “all in” one minute, and emotionally distant the nextSecond-guessing your value or authorityFeeling like no one really understands the pressure you're underCraving support but not trusting how to receive itIf this is resonating, it doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your nervous system learned to protect you. And now, it might be time to update the playbook.If you’re ready to lead from a place of secure, grounded authority without the push-pull, perfectionism, or burnout, I’d love to help.👉 Tap below to explore my coaching options and learn more about The Secure Leader coaching program.You can be both strong and supported. Leading doesn’t have to hurt.
• 3.
  You’re an Anxious Preoccupied Leader. Click here for more details.

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  You care, a lot. About your team, your work, your impact, your relationships. And that care runs deep. You’re likely the leader who’s emotionally in tune, intuitive, and always thinking ten steps ahead to prevent problems or keep the peace.But here’s the flip side:Your nervous system can get stuck in overdrive trying to prove your worth, anticipate others’ needs, and avoid conflict at all costs.You may struggle with:Overthinking every decision or conversationTaking things personally or blaming yourself when things go wrongPeople-pleasing, over-functioning, or micromanaging to feel in controlFeeling invisible, underappreciated, or like you have to “earn” your seat at the tableFearing conflict because it feels like abandonment, even when it’s just feedbackNone of this makes you a bad leader. It makes you a human being with attachment wounds that show up under pressure.I've got good news, these patterns can change with the right tools, support, and a space that helps you feel emotionally safe while you grow.If you’re ready to stop overworking, overthinking, or over-accommodating and start leading with calm confidence and secure boundaries, The Secure Leader coaching is here to help.👉 Tap below to explore my coaching options and learn more about The Secure Leader coaching program.You don’t have to lead through anxiety. There’s a steadier way, and it’s within reach.
• 4.
  You’re a Dismissive Avoidant Leader Click here for more details.

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  You’re strong, independent, and deeply capable. You probably got where you are because you don’t need much. You keep your emotions in check, handle problems on your own, and pride yourself on staying composed under pressure.But here’s the hard truth:Leadership gets lonely when you’ve learned that self-reliance is the only safe option.You might be struggling with:Feeling disconnected from your team or emotionally distant in your relationshipsGetting irritated by others’ emotional needs, even when you careAvoiding hard conversations because you don’t trust they’ll go anywhereDismissing your own feelings until they explode or just numb outFeeling pressure to always have it together and not knowing how to ask for helpThis doesn’t mean you’re cold. It means somewhere along the line, your nervous system learned to survive by keeping people (and feelings) at a distance.But leadership, true and emotionally grounded leadership, asks for more. Not more vulnerability all the time, but more trust. More self-awareness. More connection without self-abandonment.If you’re ready to lead in a way that doesn’t feel so emotionally exhausting or isolating, I’d love to help.👉 Tap below to explore my coaching options and learn more about The Secure Leader coaching program.There’s strength in opening up. There’s power in leading from wholeness.