Attachment Style Quiz

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Quiz Questions

1.
When something feels off in a relationship, I...
- A.
  I start questioning if I did something wrong, then remind myself of all the ways I’ve been annoyed with them anyway. If they’re going to ghost me, I don’t need that energy in my life.
- B.
  I notice the shift and assume they might be going through something. If it continues, I’ll gently bring it up and ask if they’re okay, I want to understand and work through it.
- C.
  It's ok, they will reach out when they work through it. I don't need to get emotionally involved.
- D.
  When I sense someone pulling away, I get anxious and start to worry I did something wrong. I might send extra messages or read into their responses just trying to figure out if they’re really distancing themselves or if I’m imagining it.
2.
How do you tend to relate to your own needs?
- A.
  The truth is, I don’t always know what I need in relationships. And even when I do, I often second-guess myself, wondering if my needs are too much or if asking for them will drive people away.
- B.
  I don’t usually think about my own needs, I just focus on handling things myself. I believe most people should be able to take care of their own needs.
- C.
  I’m clear on what I need and feel confident naming it when it’s not being met. If someone isn’t able to meet those needs, I know how to care for myself in healthy, grounded ways.
- D.
  I don’t always realize what I need until I’ve hit my limit. I tend to handle everything myself, secretly hoping someone will notice and offer support. When they don’t, I can feel resentful and explode because they should have seen me struggle and tried to help.
3.
What’s your relationship to asking for help or support?
- A.
  I feel comfortable asking when I need help, and I trust people will show up.
- B.
  I’m much more comfortable being the one who helps. Asking for support makes me uneasy. Part of me worries people will get tired of me or see me as a burden.
- C.
  I do want support, but asking feels risky. I’ve been let down before, and I don’t always trust that people will show up, or get it right, so I usually just handle it on my own.
- D.
  I don’t usually ask for help. Not because I don’t trust people, but because I’ve learned I can take care of 90% of what I need on my own. And I’m good with that.
4.
When someone sets a boundary with you, how do you usually feel?
- A.
  I feel annoyed or controlled. I don’t like when people try to limit me.
- B.
  I feel a lot of shame, like I should’ve known better. It feels like I’m in trouble for something I didn’t even realize I did. I’m stuck between confronting it or just backing off completely.
- C.
  I respect it and appreciate the clarity.
- D.
  When someone sets a boundary with me, I feel confused, like I’ve done something wrong. It can feel like rejection, like they’re pulling away because I’m not good enough or they don’t really care about me.
5.
How do you typically react during emotional conflict?
- A.
  I understand that others have feelings and get frustrated sometimes, and I want to work through those moments with them. I stay grounded and focus on maintaining connection while we talk it out. We will get through this.
- B.
  I tend to shut down or explode, sometimes both. My mind feels chaotic, and emotions often feel like my enemy.
- C.
  I often feel panicked and want to fix things right away because I can’t sit with that kind of tension. I worry they see me as a burden and fear they might stop talking to me.
- D.
  I often emotionally check out. Disengaging feels easier, with the hope I can come back later...if at all.
6.
When you’re feeling overwhelmed emotionally, you...
- A.
  I push myself to keep going and criticize myself for not being able to function at 100%, even when things are really hard. When I talk to my friends about it, everything I’ve been holding in comes pouring out and I can’t always control it.
- B.
  I give myself space or tools to process, then reach out to my close relationships for help if needed. This will pass and I have such amazing support.
- C.
  Easy, I shut it off. Feelings get in the way of functioning. I isolate myself because anything emotional feels overwhelming and I don't want to manage it.
- D.
  I push myself to keep going and criticize myself for not performing at 100%. I start to withdraw, get irritable with the people around me, and feel resentful toward whoever I think is causing the pressure. Sometimes, that’s me.
7.
How do you feel when someone doesn’t respond to a message right away?
- A.
  I genuinely don’t care. People can respond when they want.
- B.
  I obsess over what I said and assume I upset them.
- C.
  I feel uneasy, but I pretend it doesn’t matter, even though it does.
- D.
  I assume they’re busy. It doesn’t mean anything bad.
8.
What does vulnerability feel like to you?
- A.
  Vulnerability feels unsafe, sometimes even weak. I do want to be seen, but I also need to fully trust the person I’m opening up to… and most of the time, I just don’t.
- B.
  Weak. I don’t see the point of sharing things that won’t change anything.
- C.
  Being vulnerable is scary, but I still do it because I crave connection. Afterward, though, I often worry I’ve overshared, like I said too much and now they won’t want to be around me.
- D.
  Necessary for connection. It can be uncomfortable, but it’s worth it.
9.
When it comes to boundaries, you...
- A.
  Struggle to set them. I don’t want people to be mad, think I am a bad person, or leave.
- B.
  Flip between rigid walls and no boundaries at all. Both make me feel guilt.
- C.
  Set and hold them with clarity and care, mine and others’.
- D.
  Don’t think much about them. I just want space and independence.
10.
In group dynamics (teams, friendships, families), you often...
- A.
  I prefer to stay on the outside and observe, not participate too much. I might not even show up.
- B.
  I feel comfortable speaking up and being myself.
- C.
  I feel like I don’t fully belong, even if no one says it. Is it time to leave yet?
- D.
  I feel responsible for making sure everyone is okay or likes me.
11.
What happens after you express a need or feeling?
- A.
  I feel relief. I trust that expressing myself is safe.
- B.
  I feel exposed, like I said too much. I worry they’ll think I’m too much, judge me, or even pull away.
- C.
  I rarely express my feelings. It’s not that I’m avoiding them, it just doesn’t really come up for me. I’d rather keep moving and focus on creature comforts.
- D.
  After I open up, I question if I should’ve said anything at all. I tend to pull back and avoid the person, just to make sure they didn’t take it the wrong way. And if they leave? Honestly, it wouldn’t be the first time. I will be ok without that relationship.
12.
When someone gets emotionally close to you, you...
- A.
  I crave emotional closeness, but as soon as it starts to happen, I pull away or feel overwhelmed. Connecting intellectually feels safer, but deep down, I want emotional connection, too. It just scares me sometimes and I don't trust it.
- B.
  Emotional closeness makes me uncomfortable, and I need space. I feel more at ease connecting intellectually. It feels more manageable than emotional intimacy.
- C.
  Let them in gradually, open up, and stay present with the connection. I trust I'll know if this is right for me or not over time.
- D.
  I get anxious they’ll leave or lose interest. I start questioning whether I’m enough, whether I’m doing everything right and I try to keep them close.

Quiz Outcomes

1.
You're a fearful avoidant attachment style. Click here for more details.
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You’re insightful, intuitive, and deeply feeling. You long for closeness, yet something in you pulls back just as things start to feel vulnerable. Your heart wants connection, but your nervous system’s learned that relationships aren’t always safe.Here’s what might feel familiar:Wanting emotional closeness but fearing you’ll get hurtPulling away or shutting down when someone gets too closeFeeling torn, craving intimacy but not fully trusting itOverthinking what others feel about you or reading too much into silenceStruggling with self-worth, especially when emotions run highThis doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means somewhere along the line, your inner world got the message that love was unpredictable, or came with strings attached.But here’s the good news: Your emotional depth is not a flaw. It’s a signal of strength and sensitivity that deserves safety, care, and consistency.Healing isn’t about becoming “perfect” in relationships, it’s about learning to feel safe with yourself and with others.If you’re ready to stop the push-pull cycle and find steadiness in how you connect, I’d love to walk with you.👉 Tap the link below to learn more about my attachment theory coaching services if you are interested in working together.You can hold tenderness and strength at the same time.You’re allowed to feel safe in love.
2.
You're a dismissive avoidant attachment style. Click here for more details.
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You’re strong, independent, and deeply capable. You’ve learned to keep your emotions in check, handle things on your own, and pride yourself on staying calm under pressure.But here’s the truth:It’s hard to feel close to others when self-reliance has always felt like the safest choice.You might notice yourself:Feeling disconnected in relationships or struggling to fully open upGetting irritated by others’ emotional needs—even when you deeply careAvoiding tough conversations because they rarely feel worth itShoving down your own feelings until they spill over—or go numbFeeling the pressure to always have it together, unsure how to ask for supportThis doesn’t mean you’re distant or unfeeling. It means your nervous system adapted to protect you by keeping people (and emotions) at arm’s length.But connection, the real, grounded kind, doesn’t require you to abandon yourself. It starts with trusting that your emotions aren't scary and that connection doesn't mean losing yourself.If you’re ready to explore closeness that doesn’t cost your independence, I’d love to support you!👉 Tap the link below to learn more about my attachment theory coaching services if you are interested in working together.There’s strength in opening up and there’s healing in wholeness.
3.
You're securely attached! Click here for more details.
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You’re steady, open-hearted, and emotionally grounded. You know how to show up for others without losing yourself, and you trust that the people who matter will do the same for you.You’re likely someone who:Feels comfortable with closeness, but also values your independenceCommunicates your needs and emotions clearlyOffers support without overextending yourselfTrusts others, but also trusts your own instinctsNavigates conflict with curiosity instead of fearThis doesn’t mean you’re perfect or never struggle.It means you’ve built a foundation of emotional safety, within yourself and in your relationships. You’ve likely had experiences that taught you it’s safe to be seen, to ask for what you need, and to believe you’re worthy of love and respect.Even if you generally feel safe in relationships, you might still stumble with expressing your needs clearly, setting boundaries without guilt, or navigating miscommunication without shutting down or overexplaining. Life experiences, stress, and the dynamics of specific relationships can still pull you off balance. Security isn’t about perfection, it’s about resilience and the ability to return to center when things get messy. Reflection, healing, and choosing relationships that feel mutual and safe.If you’re ready to deepen this sense of security, or explore how it can ripple into every part of your life, I’d love to support you.👉 Tap the link below to learn more about my attachment theory coaching services if you are interested in working together.You’re allowed to feel safe.You’re allowed to be loved without conditions.
4.
You're an anxious preoccupied attachment style. Click here for more details.
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You’re caring, expressive, and emotionally in tune. You feel deeply, and when you care about someone, you really care. You want connection that feels secure, responsive, and present.But here’s the hard part:When closeness feels uncertain, it can feel like everything’s unraveling.You might find yourself:Feeling anxious when someone pulls away or doesn’t respond quicklyOveranalyzing texts, tone, or silenceNeeding lots of reassurance to feel secure and then judging yourself for itWorrying that you’re “too much” or “not enough”Giving a lot in relationships but secretly fearing you’ll be abandonedThis doesn’t mean you’re needy or dramatic. It means your nervous system learned early on that connection might not be consistent and you’re just trying to stay emotionally safe.Here’s the truth: Your emotional clarity and care are gifts. You feel a lot because you love deeply.Healing begins with learning to soothe yourself without silencing your needs and to trust that you’re lovable as you are.If you’re ready to feel more grounded in your relationships, I’d be honored to support you.👉 Tap the link below to learn more about my attachment theory coaching services if you are interested in working together.You’re not too much.You’re exactly enough.