Your Inner Saboteur, Revealed ❤️‍🔥

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Quiz Questions

1.
Whether it’s now or earlier in the relationship, I’ve often kept my true needs or feelings to myself because I worry I’ll seem "too much" or "too needy".
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
2.
After we’re around other people, I replay things my partner said and later “coach” them on it—pointing out what sounded awkward, what they should’ve left out, and how they should phrase it next time.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
3.
I drop hints, make comments, or suggest content (books, podcasts, examples) in hopes that my partner will ‘level up’ in how they think or present themselves.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
4.
I often find myself repeating my point or walking through the details of conflict or situations with them again because it doesn’t feel like they truly get it.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
5.
I end up criticizing or snapping at my partner for things that didn’t use to bother me because I’m quietly resentful they don’t see how much I do to keep this relationship running.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
6.
I sometimes set up situations—like mentioning something important and then waiting to see if they remember—just to find out how much they really care.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
7.
When my partner says something I find embarrassing or cringey, I can’t help but correct them, point it out, or make a face to show I disapprove, even if I mean well.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
8.
If they don’t see the issue or the conflict the same way I do, I feel like my experience is being dismissed or erased.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
9.
Instead of directly saying what I need, I sometimes like to hint or wait to see if my partner notices on their own.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
10.
I get stuck comparing how I love them to how they love me, and then I start criticizing or withdrawing when it doesn’t match—like if they don’t show love the way I would or want, I feel like they’re not trying hard enough.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
11.
I usually handle the emotional and logistical load in the relationship, even if I don’t always say it bothers me.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
12.
I sometimes catch myself thinking, ‘I bring so much value as a partner how can they not see it?' and then I start feeling cold or resentful toward them.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
13.
Even if I don't intentionally mean to, but I keep mental notes of the times they didn’t show up for me, even if I don’t say anything in the moment.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
14.
When my partner shares a belief or opinion on a topic and I disagree with it, I feel a strong urge to explain why they’re wrong or ‘talk them out of it.’
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
15.
If I have to ask for support, affection, or attention, it feels less meaningful—like they’re only doing it because I told them to.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
16.
Even when my partner does something kind or loving, my brain still zeroes in on what was missing or how it could’ve been better, even if I don't mean to think those things.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
17.
When I feel disconnected, I sometimes reach for someone else—an ex, a crush, even a flirtation—just to feel that spark again.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
18.
In the middle of conflict, I’ll sometimes leave the room, go cold, or mentally check out until things blow over.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
19.
Even when my partner says ‘I understand,’ I often keep going because I can tell they don’t fully believe me.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
20.
Gift-giving is really important to me—I want my partner to show their love by remembering what I like and surprising me with thoughtful things that reflect how well they know me.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
21.
When things feel emotionally flat or too routine, I start fantasizing about being with someone else—someone who might “get me” more or make love feel bigger.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
22.
When my partner is upset, I often try to calm them down by explaining the other person’s perspective so they can think about things more rationally and stop reacting so strongly.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
23.
When my partner remembers something differently than I do, I feel a wave of unease. It makes me question my own memory or theirs, and I dont want to relax until we agree on what really happened.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
24.
When I feel unsure or disconnected, I catch myself thinking, ‘I shouldn’t feel this way if they were the right person.’
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
25.
I go out of my way to teach my partner exactly how I want to be loved—so when they still miss the mark, I feel frustrated and confused about why it’s so hard for them.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
26.
When my partner gets emotional or upset, I tend to shut down or go quiet—even if I don’t mean to.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
27.
I often find myself saying things like ‘you’re overthinking it’ or ‘it’s not that serious’ when my partner is upset.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False
28.
I get fixated on how love should feel or look, and when my relationship doesn’t line up, I feel like something’s missing—even if nothing’s technically wrong.
- A.
  True
- B.
  False

Quiz Outcomes

1.
The Quality Controller
You can’t help but notice the things your partner says or does that make you cringe. The way they laugh too loud at their own jokes, mispronounce a word, or share an opinion that feels... off. So you offer a suggestion. Recommend a book. Reframe their thinking, just trying to help them grow.But underneath the helpfulness is a fear: that their flaws reflect poorly on you. That loving someone “like that” says something about your value. Over time, your efforts to refine or guide them start to feel like quiet rejection and the relationship becomes a place where neither of you feels fully safe to be seen.Get the guide to see how this pattern quietly erodes intimacy and how to stop confusing love with trying to change your partner.
2.
The Emotional Bulldozer
When you’re upset, you need your partner to see what you see, feel what you feel, and admit they were wrong—not later, but now. You push for understanding, clarity, and resolution the second something feels off. You tell yourself you’re just fighting for connection.But what you’re really doing is asking them to regulate your nervous system by validating your version of reality. And when they can’t (or won’t) you double down. What feels like urgency to you can feel like emotional steamrolling to them.Get the guide and learn how to slow down, soothe yourself, and trust your own reality, even when your partner doesn’t feel the same or see it your way 💛💛
3.
The Perfect Partner
You used to take pride in being the easy one. The one who didn’t need much, who held everything together, who gave without expecting anything back. That version of you made love feel safe, stable, and good for them. But over time, all that caretaking turns into quiet resentment. You start to feel unseen, uncared for, and confused about why your partner doesn’t show up for you. Without realizing it, you became so self-sufficient that they stopped thinking you needed anything at all. Get the guide to see how this pattern is sabotaging your connection and learn how to finally show up fully, without getting lost in the process.
4.
The Loyalty Tester
You're always scanning for signs that your partner cares—without you having to spell it out. So instead of asking directly, you drop hints. You wait to see if they’ll notice your mood shift or show up for you on their own.But what you’re really doing is searching for proof that no one actually chooses you. And when your partner doesn’t pass the test, it confirms the story you’ve carried for years: they don’t really care. What starts as self-protection ends up pushing away the very closeness you crave.Get the guide to see how this pattern keeps you locked in disappointment and how to start getting what you need before resentment builds.
5.
Love My Way Or No Way
You make it clear what you need—words, effort, small thoughtful gestures. You’re not asking for too much. You’re just asking for it to be done right.But when your partner’s love doesn’t come in the form you expect, your brain locks onto everything they’re doing wrong. You dismiss clumsy efforts, overlook imperfect attempts, and get caught in the loop of if they really loved me, they’d know. Over time, love becomes a test they can’t pass.Get the guide to see how this pattern blocks you from receiving love and what to do when their care doesn’t match your blueprint.
6.
The Shutdown Shield
When things get tense, you pull away. You shut down, stay busy, or retreat into your thoughts—not to hurt your partner, but to keep things from spiraling. You tell yourself it’s better to stay calm than to make things worse.But in trying to keep the peace, you end up minimizing your partner’s emotions. You say it’s not a big deal. That they’re overreacting. That you don’t want to fight. And the more you do, the more disconnected they feel. What protects you ends up making them feel alone.Get the guide to see how emotional shutdown creates more distance than safety and what it looks like to stay present without abandoning your partner or overwhelming yourself.
7.
The Fantasizer
You’ve always had a vision for love. What it should feel like, how it should unfold, the kind of partner it should involve. And when it doesn’t match that vision, something in you hesitates. You start wondering if you’re settling. If there’s something, or someone, better out there.But chasing that fantasy leaves you constantly evaluating and comparing. You feel restless, disconnected, even resentful when the relationship doesn’t feel magical. And without meaning to, you start questioning the real connection right in front of you.Get the guide to see how idealizing love can keep you unsatisfied and what to do when the fear of settling starts running the show.