Discover the Hidden Patterns Draining Your Energy (and How to Finally Break Free)

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  When someone asks you to do something you really don’t want to do, you…

  • A.
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    Avoid, delay, or disappear—I’d rather do anything than face conflict.
  • B.
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    Say no, but immediately over-explain so no one gets upset.
  • C.
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    Say yes immediately—I feel guilty or selfish if I even hesitate.
  • D.
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    Announce a “boundary” or lecture them about respect, hoping they change so I don’t have to.
• 2.
  When someone around you is upset, your first instinct is…

  • A.
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    Try to control their behavior so I can feel safe, instead of looking at myself.
  • B.
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    Fix it or apologize, even if I didn’t do anything wrong.
  • C.
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    Hide or avoid—I just want to stay out of the conflict.
  • D.
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    Jump in and solve it—I feel responsible for everyone’s feelings.
• 3.
  When you even think about saying “no,” your body…

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  • A.
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    Feels heavy—like I’m already carrying everyone’s disappointment.
  • B.
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    Fizzes with guilt—heart races, shoulders tense, mind spins.
  • C.
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    Locks up—tight chest, shallow breath, stomach knots.
  • D.
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    Gets tense and reactive—I puff up, trying to control others instead of calming myself.
• 4.
  The real reason I betray my own needs is…

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  • A.
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    I’m terrified that conflict will lead to rejection or abandonment.
  • B.
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    I feel like if I don’t handle everything, I’ll lose love or my worth.
  • C.
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    I’m scared that if I don’t control them, I’ll feel powerless or have to face myself.
  • D.
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    I’m afraid people will stop liking or respecting me.
• 5.
  The feeling I know better than joy is…

  • A.
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    Guilt—I live in apology mode, leaking energy with every explanation.
  • B.
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    Anxiety—avoiding conflict is my “safety blanket,” even if it drains me.
  • C.
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    Frustration—I stew when people don’t obey my “boundaries,” instead of owning my choices.
  • D.
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    Resentment—I over-give, then silently blame others for my exhaustion.
• 6.
  Is most of your life by default or choice?

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  • A.
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    Default—I call it “responsibility,” but I’m living for others, not me.
  • B.
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    Half default, half illusion—I yell “boundaries” but still let other people control my energy.
  • C.
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    Like I’m living by default—constantly avoiding conflict and shrinking.
  • D.
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    Mostly default—I perform and explain for other people’s approval.
• 7.
  In my relationships, I mostly feel…

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  • A.
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    Resentful—I give everything and quietly judge others for not giving back.
  • B.
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    Frustrated—I try to control others so I don’t have to change my own life.
  • C.
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    Fragile—like I’m always walking on eggshells, desperate to be liked.
  • D.
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    Invisible—I disappear to avoid conflict, then feel unseen.
• 8.
  When I slow down enough to notice my own needs or desires, I…

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  • A.
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    Ignore myself—I focus on others so I can feel safe and approved of.
  • B.
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    Dismiss my needs—I convince myself I’ll matter “later” while I over-function.
  • C.
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    Distract myself—I’d rather hide than risk conflict.
  • D.
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    Avoid inner work—I send demands about how others should behave instead of owning my choices.
• 9.
  When it comes to reclaiming my energy and finally living as my true self…

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  • A.
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    I don’t even know where to start, but I can’t keep hiding from my life.
  • B.
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    I’m ready to stop performing “boundaries” and finally build real ones that protect my peace and energy.
  • C.
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    I’ve tried to set boundaries, but guilt and over-explaining always pull me back.
  • D.
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    I keep abandoning myself because it feels safer—but I’m done living in resentment.

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  Guilt-Ridden Ghost

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  The Guilt-Ridden GhostYou disappear so you don’t get rejected—but it’s costing you your power.You don’t just avoid conflict—you vanish. You shrink, appease, or delay just to keep the peace, even when it shatters your own. You tell yourself “it’s not worth it,” but deep down, you’re terrified of rejection. Your body believes that speaking your truth will lead to abandonment or punishment.But ghosting your own needs? That’s abandonment too.You’ve learned to stay safe by being invisible—but it’s draining your life force. Your nervous system is in a constant state of freeze, and the cost is your peace, your power, and your presence.This isn’t you being “chill”—this is trauma patterning disguised as politeness.It’s time to stop leaking energy by avoiding yourself.You need to learn how to:Regulate your nervous system so your body stops associating truth with dangerIdentify your actual needs (not just what you don’t want)Set real boundaries that protect your peace—not silence that protects others’ comfortHeal the fear of being seen, so you can show up as your full selfNext step:Start Fuck You Politely: How to Set Boundaries with Grace and learn the actual system for reclaiming your energy—without ghosting yourself.
• 2.
  Walking Apology

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  You overexplain, over function, and overthink—hoping no one will leave you.You don’t say “no”—you apologize for saying no, justify why, cushion it with kindness, and hope no one’s mad.You’ve confused being liked with being loved. You perform for approval, explain your way out of discomfort, and abandon yourself in the name of keeping others calm.The problem? Guilt is running your life—and leaking your energy.You don’t trust that your needs matter without a PowerPoint of proof.You’re exhausted from overthinking every interaction, but the real reason you can’t rest is because you don’t feel safe being misunderstood.You need to learn how to:Regulate your guilt response (guilt is not a truth detector)Trust your “no” without having to sell itIdentify your core beliefs around worth, approval, and rejectionBuild self-trust so you stop outsourcing your okay-ness to other peopleNext step:Fuck You Politely: How to Set Boundaries with Grace will teach you how to stop bleeding energy through self-abandonment and finally communicate boundaries that don’t need a paragraph.
• 3.
  Self-Abandoning Superhero

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  The Self-Abandoning Superhero You do everything for everyone—until resentment eats you alive.You’re the dependable one. The fixer. The problem-solver. But inside? You’re tired. Angry. Empty.You say “yes” so fast you forget you had a choice. You’ve mistaken over-functioning for worthiness. And under all that helpfulness is fear—fear that if you stop doing, you’ll stop mattering.You don’t just carry your own load—you pick up everyone else’s so you don’t have to feel your own pain.Resentment is martyr fuel. But martyrdom is not a personality—it’s a trauma response.You need to learn how to:Identify your emotional addiction to resentment, guilt, and self-sacrificeGet clear on what’s yours vs what isn’t (task separation = freedom)Process suppressed anger so you stop abandoning yourself to be “nice”Choose your soul’s truth instead of your mind’s defensesNext step:Fuck You Politely: How to Set Boundaries with Grace will teach you how to stop martyring for love and start honoring your truth without guilt, apology, or burnout.
• 4.
  Boundary Dabbler

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  The Boundary DabblerTagline: You’ve said “boundaries”—but what you’ve actually said is “change for me so I don’t have to.”You’ve done the work. You know the lingo. You’ve shouted boundaries from the rooftops. But here’s the thing…You’re still drained. Still resentful. Still stuck.That’s because what you’ve been calling boundaries are actually demands. Attempts to control other people’s behavior so you don’t have to face your own discomfort. You haven’t created space—you’ve created expectations.Real boundaries protect your peace. False ones protect your fantasy of control.You don’t need better scripts. You need better self-honesty.You need to learn how to:Recognize the difference between a boundary and a bypassStop outsourcing your emotional safety to other people’s behaviorTake responsibility for your needs, desires, and discomfortBuild actual boundaries that are energetic, embodied, and non-negotiableNext step:Fuck You Politely: How to Set Boundaries with Grace will teach you the radical self-responsibility required to actually protect your energy and build peace—from the inside out.