What's Your Relational Blueprint?

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Quiz Questions

1.
What happens for you when you connect with someone new?
- A.
  I get hooked fast. I start overanalyzing their words, watching how often they text, wondering if they like me back. I fear losing the connection before it’s even started.
- B.
  It's exciting, at first. But then I start to feel pressure and the urge to step back. I tell myself I’d be more open if it were the ‘right’ person.
- C.
  I start thinking about what they need and how I can show up for them. I want to show them how valuable I can be in their world. Sometimes, I realize later that I never shared much about myself at all.
- D.
  I drop hints, but I’m hesitant to put myself out there too boldly. If they don’t pursue me, I sink back into silence — I like to fantasize about the possibilities but I don't always act on them.
2.
How do you express yourself in a romantic connection?
- A.
  I keep things light, playful, and easygoing. I don’t like pressure, so I’ll joke, share fun experiences, or be present in ways that don’t feel heavy.
- B.
  I try to show up for them. I listen, support, take care of little details, and anticipate their needs. I try to make them feel cared for, and I often don't name my own needs, because I put all the attention on theirs.
- C.
  I want them to feel wanted, so I’ll text often and try to keep the energy alive. Sometimes I lean in too much, but it’s because I don’t want to lose the connection.
- D.
  I express myself quietly. I’ll drop hints and create little openings for them to step into. I might share something vulnerable or let them see my interest, but I don’t always do it directly. I hope they notice and bridge the gap.
3.
What is your most common frustration in relationships?
- A.
  People always want too much from me. The moment things start getting close, I feel pressured to move faster or open up more than I’m ready for. I want connection — but not at the cost of losing myself.
- B.
  I’m always the one putting in more effort. I try so hard, reach out, keep things alive, but it’s never matched. No matter what I do, I end up feeling like I’m too much and still not enough at the same time.
- C.
  I feel invisible. I try to connect but no one seems to notice or respond. I get stuck waiting, hoping, and it’s so disappointing when nothing happens. It makes me feel like love just isn’t meant for me.
- D.
  I feel like I’m always carrying the relationship, holding it together, managing emotions, solving problems — and I never feel like anyone’s taking care of me.
4.
What is the most exciting thing about a relationship to you?
- A.
  Being completely chosen — knowing that I matter so much to someone that they're never going to leave.
- B.
  The idea of being swept away, of finally having someone who sees the depths of me and meets me in it.
- C.
  Feeling needed by someone. When they lean on me, count on me, and I know I'm the one they can’t live without.
- D.
  The freedom to connect without pressure — when things feel light, fun, and effortless.
5.
What do you dream about when it comes to love?
- A.
  Being held in the places I don't reveal easily by someone who understands me and chooses to stay. Someone who can see my longing and nurture it until it blooms.
- B.
  Being in a love that doesn’t suffocate my freedom, with a partner who makes closeness feel like an invitation not an obligation.
- C.
  Being chosen by someone who shows up consistently and makes me feel safe. They respond quickly, reassure their feelings for me, and step in so I don’t have to try so hard.
- D.
  Being the person my partner turns to first. Being deeply seen and appreciated for everything I bring to the table and everything I do for the relationship.
6.
What tends to happen when you get close to someone?
- A.
  I end up doing everything. Nurturing, communicating, trying to fix the problems between us. Ultimately, I feel exhausted, wondering how after trying to meet all their needs, mine were never asked about?
- B.
  The closer I get to someone, the more pressure I feel to commit or perform, and I start shutting down. Any openness I offer becomes an expectation for more than I feel I can give.
- C.
  Half the time it feels like I'm begging. Sometimes I get hot attention and then quiet. Other times I'm just brushed off or ghosted. All of this confirms my deepest fears.
- D.
  It often disappears into nothing. I try to open up to them but they don't step in and I retreat. I mostly hide my longing and act like I’m fine so I don't have to get hurt.
7.
What does emotional intimacy mean to you?
- A.
  Emotional intimacy is when they lean on me, trust me, share they're struggles, and let me help. I feel close when I know I’m needed and I can make they're world better.
- B.
  Emotional intimacy is being held in my softness without being asked to be stronger than I feel. When someone stays with me in my longing and accepts me just as I am.
- C.
  Emotional intimacy is when someone gives me space to open up at my own pace. When connection doesn’t demand anything and it's ok to feel however I want about it.
- D.
  Emotional intimacy is when they let me in, when I know what they're thinking and feeling so I don’t have to guess and I feel certain in the relationship.
8.
How to you respond to relational stress?
- A.
  I shrink into myself. I get quiet, distant, and carry it alone. I tell myself I’m fine, but inside I’m aching, waiting for someone to notice and care enough to reach out.
- B.
  I push my needs down and go into fix-it mode. I try to be accommodating and take care of them, hoping I'll be appreciated and reciprocated.
- C.
  I can’t sit still. My mind races, I start overanalyzing, reaching out, sending texts, trying to fix things before they fall apart. I can’t relax until I feel close again.
- D.
  I feel overwhelmed, like there’s no space to breathe, and I shut down or disappear for a while. I often feel that it's not my problem to deal with.
9.
A situation arises where your partner needs support, how do you react?
- A.
  I feel the pressure right away. I want to help, but the need feels heavy. So I often pull back, give space, or convince myself they’ll be fine on their own.
- B.
  When they’re not okay, I fear I might lose them. I throw myself into helping, hoping if I do enough they’ll see what a great partner I am.
- C.
  I want to be there, but I don’t always know how. I’ll give small signals — ‘I’m here if you need me’ — but mostly I just wait and hope they reach out to me.
- D.
  I jump in and try to take charge of the situation feeling a personal responsibility to make things better for them. I can't relax until the situation has been fixed.
10.
What about your love life tends to keep you up at night?
- A.
  I replay every text, every silence — did I say too much, not enough? Sometimes it feels like if I don’t do something right now I’ll lose them. I plan my next message or connection.
- B.
  I sit awake with feelings of regret and longing. Sometimes I fantasize about what might have been with someone long gone and often feel hopeless, like this will never happen for me.
- C.
  I find myself thinking about the time, the effort, the logistics — and it makes me question how long I can really do this before it starts to feel like too much.
- D.
  I think about everything I’ve given and how little I get back. I feel unseen and unappreciated but still think about what else I could do so they’ll finally notice me.
11.
What is your biggest fear about your love life?
- A.
  That I'll commit to a relationship and lose everything I love about my life only to feel stifled, suffocated, and demanded upon and then I'll hurt the person I love.
- B.
  That one day I'll realize I was never good enough to be loved. That I'll have spent my whole life trying so hard and in the end I'll have never been chosen by anyone.
- C.
  That I will give everything I have over and over again, and spend my life taking care of others only to have them take what they want and leave when they are done with me.
- D.
  That I’ll spend my life waiting for a love that doesn't exist for me. I’m haunted by the thought that the love I want is just a fantasy I’m not allowed to live.
12.
What is it that you desire most in a relationship?
- A.
  A passionate connection that is easy, light and fun. One where I don't lose myself or carry the weight of someone else's expectations. We can just enjoy each other without drama.
- B.
  I want to be kept. Not saved — just held in the quiet places I hide, noticed for the tender parts I’m afraid to show, and stayed with even when I’m messy.
- C.
  I want to be chosen — plain and simple. I want somebody who shows up reliably, reassures me, and makes me feel like I don’t have to prove my worth every day.
- D.
  I want to be appreciated, seen and reciprocated. I want my care to land and be returned — someone who leans in for me sometimes, not just the person I hold together.
13.
What is most likely to make you feel down about yourself a relationship?
- A.
  When someone fades or doesn’t respond, I feel like I’m not worth keeping. Nothing makes me feel smaller than pouring myself out and being met with silence; it confirms the fear that I’m not enough.”
- B.
  When someone wants more than I can give, I feel trapped and diminished. Being pressured or blamed for needing space makes me think there's something wrong with me, like I'm unequipped for relationships.
- C.
  When I finally put myself out there and it feels ignored, it cuts deep. It takes so much for me to go out on a limb, and when I’m left hanging, I feel awkward, unimportant, and like maybe I should never have tried at all.”
- D.
  When my efforts go unnoticed I feel quietly crushed. I'm doing everything to hold us together and being taken for granted — like it's expected and my needs don’t matter.
14.
When things get tough in a relationship, what is your instinctive response?
- A.
  I want to fix it, smooth it over, and calm things down. I can't feel ok until I know they're ok and we're ok. I often put my own needs aside to tend to theirs and make things better.
- B.
  I tend to collapse into myself. I get quiet, withdraw, and feel like maybe it’s pointless to even try. A part of me longs for them to notice and reach out for me, but I usually fear making the first move.
- C.
  My gut reaction is to pull back. I want distance from the heaviness — emotionally or physically. I feel a need to escape the overwhelm and protect my space.
- D.
  My instinct is to cling tighter. I reach out, ask questions, try to talk it through — anything to feel close again. I panic if I sense them slipping away and I do whatever I can to pull them back.
15.
What is the most uncomfortable part of a relationship for you?
- A.
  When I feel invisible or like my feelings don’t matter, I go numb. I pretend I’m fine but inside it just hurts, this dull ache, like nobody cares and I’ll always be alone.
- B.
  Uncertainty. When I don’t know where I stand, if they’re pulling away or not as invested as I am, I feel this panic rise in me. I can’t relax until I know I feel secure with them.
- C.
  When it feels like my needs are too much. If I express them and it causes conflict, I feel guilty, like I'm not doing my part or I should just swallow it and do more for them.
- D.
  When someone wants too much from me. If they want me to open up too quickly, commit, or explain how I feel — it makes me want to retreat.

Quiz Outcomes

1.
Blueprint: The Chaser
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You give everything in relationships — yet somehow, you’re never truly chosen.-You fall hard, fast and give everything to someone when you like them but no matter what you do, love always feels just out of reach. The more you push, the more the other person pulls away and you're left wondering why your best wasn't enough and if you'll ever be good enough for love.You were raised on inconsistent love and your nervous system learned that the affection of others was something you had to earn, not something you're inherently worthy of. Now, you unconsciously seek out people who will never see you so you can continue striving for love, living out the pattern that feels familiar in your body. -But there is nothing wrong with you and you were always worthy. This is simply the survival strategy your system learned in love. And while it’s kept you going, it’s also kept you from the devotion and ease you deserve.-I want to show you how to break this pattern...I've made a short video where I’ll break down what the Chaser Blueprint is all about and outline the specific steps that will allow you to break this painful pattern and create a love where you are fully chosen, cherished, and never have to chase again.
2.
Blueprint: The Caretaker
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You’ve carried everyone for so long… but who’s carrying you?—You became the one who knows how to make everyone feel safe, held, and understood. You learned to scan the room, track emotions, and soften your own needs to keep the peace. Love, for you, meant managing others’ discomfort. Being chosen meant being useful.But your soul is done performing. You’re tired of being the safe harbor for people who never learned how to hold you. You want to be poured into. You want to be met. And you’re ready to stop carrying what was never yours to begin with.—If this feels like you, know this: there is nothing wrong with you. Your blueprint is a survival strategy — it kept you safe once, but now it’s what blocks you from receiving the reciprocity and devotion you crave.—I’ve put together a short video for you.In this video, I’ll walk you through how the Caretaker Blueprint shows up in your relationships — and share the first steps to release the weight you’ve been carrying, so you can finally allow yourself to be held, chosen, and deeply loved in return.
3.
Blueprint: The Ache
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You’ve learned to be “fine” — but your heart is still waiting.—You’ve held the ache for so long you barely notice it anymore. A soft, hollow throb beneath your smile. You’ve mastered the art of being “fine” while your heart pulses quietly in the background, waiting for someone to come find it.You long to surrender, to be chosen fully — not just loved, but kept. But the tenderness of that longing feels unbearable. So you keep it buried. And the world sees your strength. But what you crave is to be held in the places you’ve hidden.—If this feels like you, you’re not broken. This blueprint is simply a survival strategy — one that’s protected you from the pain of rejection, but also kept you from the closeness you deeply desire. Beneath the numbness, your longing is sacred. And it’s pointing you toward the love you were made for.—I’ve created a short video for you.In this video, I’ll explain how the Ache Blueprint shows up in your relationships — and share the first steps to begin healing this pattern, so you can finally allow yourself to be fully seen, chosen, and cherished.
4.
Blueprint: The Ghost
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You want love… but you don’t want to feel trapped by it.-You learned early that connection wasn't always safe. Sometimes painful, other times disappointing so you got really good at keeping a distance and retreating before anyone could really touch you.You want depth, intimacy, devotion… but the moment someone gets close enough to offer it, you often start to feel caged. You've learned to pull away before the pain can hit. You might tell yourself you don't have time for a relationship but somewhere in you, a deeper, quieter truth is rising: I want to be found. I want to stay.—If this feels like you, you’re not wrong. This blueprint is simply a survival strategy — it’s how you’ve protected yourself from pain and disappointment. But the same walls that kept you safe have also kept you from the closeness your heart longs for. And you can experience deeper intimacy if you choose to.—I’ve put together a short video for you.In this video, I’ll walk you through how the Ghost Blueprint shows up in your relationships — and share the first simple steps that will allow you to begin opening to deeper intimacy and experience the joy of being truly in love.