What patterns are blocking your joy and confidence?

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Quiz Questions

1.
When something stressful happens — a problem, a conflict, unexpected news — what might you do first?
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- A.
  Start brainstorming fixes and moving toward one of them if possible- but I feel activated in my body
- B.
  I'm pretty tough. I can usually handle challenges. I might try to see what I can do to help and will try to not let whatever it is upset me too much.
- C.
  My mind accelerates with what I could have done differently
- D.
  Usually I struggle with how I feel about problems and what to do or feel first.
- E.
  My attention moves outward first usually— toward who might need support and how I can check on them
- F.
  An emotional wave rises first, and if it overwhelms me, I might need to zone out a bit. But if not, I like to be helpful or productive toward a fix.
2.
When you finally have unstructured time — nothing due, no one needing you — what happens?
- A.
  I enjoy it! But sometimes have a bit of a trouble with restlessness if I have too much of it.
- B.
  I like to relax, but I have trouble figuring out what I want to do.
- C.
  I like my down time, but I have some issues quieting my mind at times.
- D.
  I enjoy rest, but part of me says I shouldn't.
- E.
  I really enjoy my down time, but because I'm needed by others, it doesn't happen as often as I'd like.
- F.
  I need a lot of down time. I feel exhausted often.
3.
When you make a mistake or something doesn't go as planned, your internal experience is:
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- A.
  Immediate compensating — do more, fix it, recover forward
- B.
  Detachment— I try to push through.
- C.
  Replay. I go over it again and again to find where it went wrong
- D.
  Internal conflict — one part criticizes while another defends
- E.
  It's hard to focus on my internal experience. I'm usually too busy supporting others.
- F.
  Avoidance of the feeling- I focus on something else.
4.
When you're in a conversation that matters, you usually feel:
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- A.
  Engaged but a bit hurried- I'm tracking what needs to happen next in my day
- B.
  I feel present but not always open or fully vulnerable with others.
- C.
  Mostly in the conversation, but a bit in my head- analyzing or judging their reactions
- D.
  Monitoring what I actually want to say versus what feels safe to say
- E.
  Absorbed in the other person — their tone, their needs, their experience. I'm good at mirroring.
- F.
  It depends on how I'm feeling that day. Some days, I have less energy for others and need more down time.
5.
When someone offers you real support — help, care, softness — your instinct is:
- A.
  "I've got it" — I deflect or reduce what's being offered
- B.
  Grateful, but I don't really need help.
- C.
  I think about it — do they mean it, is this the right time, what does it mean
- D.
  I feel unsure how to receive it — one part wants it, another resists
- E.
  Discomfort — it's much easier to be the one giving than the one receiving
- F.
  It's scary to let someone too close to the source of the problem.
6.
When you're overwhelmed, what does your system actually do?
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- A.
  Push harder — stay ahead of it by doing more
- B.
  Shut down — go flat, scroll, check out, disappear
- C.
  Overthink — try to solve or understand my way out of it
- D.
  Freeze between options — I want to act but something stops me
- E.
  Redirect to others — managing their experience helps me feel less overwhelmed
- F.
  Sink into it — I feel flooded and it's hard to come back up quickly
7.
How comfortable are you sharing struggles or imperfections with others?
- A.
  I love connecting with others, but I don't always have the time I want to connect in the way I crave.
- B.
  I tend not to share much on a super deep level with anyone but my chosen few, but I like chit chat and connection.
- C.
  I like sharing my concerns, but I can second-guess how it may have landed with them which can make me feel more anxious.
- D.
  It depends. Part of me wants to open up and share, and the other part of me wants to keep it to myself.
- E.
  I'm more comfortable supporting others than taking up too much space in the conversation, but I do like sharing with my closest people when I can.
- F.
  I share but I can be intense when upset. I worry I might overwhelm others.
8.
How do you show up in relationships?
- A.
  I tend to show up doing and supporting. I'm good at keeping relationships together with planning outings and time to be together.
- B.
  I'm loyal. But I keep my emotional distance at first. People have to earn my trust.
- C.
  I'm engaged and caring, but I can feel insecure sometimes or judge the relationship- like it should be better.
- D.
  I can feel split- I want closeness and openness but sometimes I hold myself back.
- E.
  I'm very supportive and loving, but I sometimes give too much of myself.
- F.
  I feel things deeply, and my emotions sometimes confuse me. I may carry some emotional residue from the past.
9.
When plans change unexpectedly, what shows up in your body?
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- A.
  Mild irritation- I don't like to be slowed down
- B.
  It's fine. I try not to let it bother me.
- C.
  Mental recalculation — I'm already running through what this means
- D.
  Internal friction — competing impulses about how to respond
- E.
  Bit of stress in my chest, maybe- I wonder who I need to communicate this change with
- F.
  An emotional jolt that takes time to settle
10.
When you sit quietly with yourself — no phone, no task, just you — what's most true?
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- A.
  I like it, but I feel like my body craves something to do
- B.
  I don't get as much pleasure out of aloneness as I used to
- C.
  I'm in thought within seconds- I have trouble quieting them
- D.
  Sitting in stillness doesn't feel comfortable all the time. Sometimes it is peaceful, but other times, I can feel restless
- E.
  I feel guilty taking too much time for myself to just be still.
- F.
  I don't love doing this. I'd rather watch TV or something
11.
Joy, for you, often feels:
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- A.
  I want more of it- I connect to it fleetingly or when I plan for it
- B.
  Muted or hard to fully let in — like there's glass between me and it
- C.
  Complicated — I can feel very happy at times, but I also get stuck in my head a lot
- D.
  Inconsistent — it shows up, then something inside interrupts it
- E.
  Secondary — hard to feel fully
- F.
  Blocked — there's too much emotional weight underneath for it to come through
12.
The thing that most reliably creates friction or stuckness for you is:
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- A.
  Slowing down — my system doesn't trust stillness
- B.
  Connecting to what I actually want— it's hard to access
- C.
  Trusting my own knowing — my mind keeps reopening what I thought I'd decided
- D.
  Getting out of my own way — I'm often my own most complicated obstacle
- E.
  Finding time for my own needs- it's a struggle to make space
- F.
  Consistency with goals- I tend to struggle with consistency
13.
When you think about doing something brave — something that would genuinely expand you — what happens?
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- A.
  I add it to the list — but I never get to it because I'm running on empty
- B.
  I'm good with hard things, but I just don't always know what I genuinely want!
- C.
  I analyze it from all angles. This can make it more or less scary depending on what it is
- D.
  Part of me lights up — and another part immediately finds reasons it won't work
- E.
  I wish I had more time and energy to pursue brave goals- they really seem desirable- but it's hard to make that space for something that would only be for me
- F.
  I struggle with follow through for some reason. But I really do have a list of things I'd love to do!
14.
If you're completely honest, the thing that most separates you from joy right now is:
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- A.
  I can't stop. The list doesn't end and neither does the urgency
- B.
  I don't always know how to fully feel it — something keeps it at arm's length
- C.
  I just worry too much which causes anxiety
- D.
  Inner conflict- I have competing parts of me that want different things
- E.
  I put everyone else first. By the time I get to myself, there's not much left
- F.
  I just have a fear of being seen fully

Quiz Outcomes

1.
OVERDOING PATTERN
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You have an OVERDOING PATTERN.There's a dominant part of you that values striving, going, doing. Your nervous system feels the hustle is familiar and comforting. Somewhere along the line you learned motion, achieving, and busyness feel safe.But it's burning you crispy- your system, energy, sense of calm, and innate joy.Check out the full description of OVERDOING to learn: what this meanshow it shows up in your bodyhow this pattern protects youwhere it blocks joyfirst step toward fixing it
2.
ARMORING PATTERN
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You have an ARMORING PATTERN.Parts of you learned that staying stoic or strong, self-reliant, and protected meant safety, security, and stability.Your nervous system welcomed this mode of operation, and you attached to the belief that feeling deeply or opening up fully to others can be dangerous. It's easier not to feel than to feel everything.But this self-protection can come at a high cost.Check out the full description of ARMORING to learn: what this meanshow it shows up in your bodyhow this pattern protects youwhere it blocks joyfirst step toward fixing it
3.
LOOPING PATTERN
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You have a LOOPING PATTERN.Your system or parts of you learned to stay safe by thinking, predicting, and trying to get it right. This means you naturally analyze, judge, and compare.And this usually lands somatically- it can increase anxiety, self-doubt, FOMO, and the tendency to mental loops or rumination.Your nervous system can start to register the rumination as a threat, increasing your sense of being on edge and pushing away joy.Check out the full description of LOOPING to learn:what this meanshow it shows up in your bodyhow this pattern protects youwhere it blocks joyfirst step toward fixing it
4.
CONFLICTING PATTERN
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You have a CONFLICTING pattern.Different parts of you are trying to protect you — at the same time. This causes a sense of uncertainty, frustration, and low self-trust.You can start to feel disconnected from your authentic desires and needs, because your parts have competing agendas and requests. The conflicting emotions can feel overwhelming and shut out joy.Check out the full description of CONFLICTING to learn:what this meanshow it shows up in your bodyhow this pattern protects youwhere it blocks joyfirst step toward fixing it
5.
OVERGIVING PATTERN
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You have a OVERGIVING pattern.Parts of you learned to stay safe by focusing outward — on others. You might also feel a sense of duty, service, or a desire for perfectionism in your roles which drives your behavior.I call this one the sweetheart pattern- because the giving usually comes from a place of deep caring! And often, there's a real sense of purpose and great love. But low receptivity to receiving or now permission to meet your own needs first can cause you to run on fumes- decreasing the ability to tap into your power and joy. Check out the full description of OVERGIVING to learn:what this meanshow it shows up in your bodyhow this pattern protects youwhere it blocks joyfirst step toward fixing it
6.
AVOIDING PATTERN
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You have an AVOIDING pattern.Your body viscerally remembers traumatic, painful, and/or shameful events, and there are likely deep feelings that needs to be processed and liberated. The intensity of the feelings that arise can drive you to avoidance behaviors or shut down. You also might use numbing as a tactic or busyness, but avoidance of the feelings is the main tendency of this trait. The avoidance itself is harmful by increasing the build up of energy in your body that needs to be processed which can cause health problems.The avoidance behaviors also have their own negative impact. Check out the full description of AVOIDING to learn:what this meanshow it shows up in your bodyhow this pattern protects youwhere it blocks joyfirst step toward fixing it