What's your Self Intimacy Phase?

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Quiz Questions

1.
How would you describe how you attach to others and relate to your connections?
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- A.
  I fear abandonment and sometimes keep toxic people around for comfort and familiarity.
- B.
  I can overattach to unhealthy relationships, and I am getting sick of that pattern.
- C.
  I am actively letting go of previous unhealthy attachments that no longer serve me.
- D.
  I am beginning to make connections with people and initiate healthy connections more often.
- E.
  I trust my healthy connections, and I am able to be open and vulnerable.
2.
How would you say you feel about your sense of self-worth in relation to partnerships?
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- A.
  I really struggle with my sense of self-worth when I’m not in a relationship.
- B.
  I take care of myself sometimes, but I feel better when I am in a relationship.
- C.
  I am learning the ways I depend on others for my self-worth to break the pattern.
- D.
  I have growing self confidence and have standards that I won’t bend just to be in a partnership.
- E.
  I feel happy and content with myself, both when in a relationship and when on my own.
3.
How would you describe the types of partners that you are connected to?
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- A.
  I always go for the “bad guy” or “bad gal.”. (I kind of like the drama of it sometimes.)
- B.
  I am often attracted to the “bad guy/gal”, but I am tired of it and don’t think it’s worth it anymore.
- C.
  I’m sick of being in toxic relationships and am actively trying to clear them out.
- D.
  I’m only attracted to consistent, available partners—no matter the chemistry.
- E.
  I’m only connected to mutually invested relationships that actively enhance my life.
4.
How much do you depend on your partners to give you what you need to fulfill you?
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- A.
  Most of my self-worth and validation comes from my partners or from being in a partnership. I feel emotionally stronger.
- B.
  More than I would like—my validation still comes from partners, but I want to change that.
- C.
  I am learning how to identify my needs so that I can give them to myself.
- D.
  I understand my needs and am now learning how to meet them myself.
- E.
  I am fully connected to my needs and know how to meet them on my own.
5.
What are your boundaries when it comes to giving and relationships?
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- A.
  I overgive and struggle to say no often because it helps me feel connected and/or I like to feel needed.
- B.
  I tend to overshare sometimes, but I don’t enjoy feeling as if I’ve said too much.
- C.
  I am learning to pull back from overgiving and oversharing to reset and do it differently..
- D.
  I give to my personal limit when I desire and protect myself from overgiving.
- E.
  I feel balanced in my ability to share and give to others.
6.
How do you feel about being in close intimate relationships with others?
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- A.
  I’m afraid of being trapped or overwhelmed in intimate relationships and put up walls to avoid it all together.
- B.
  I prefer being in close partnership, but I don’t know how to let others in.
- C.
  I am honest about wanting intimate relationships with others and am learning about ways I can be avoidant.
- D.
  I try to initiate closeness and connection with others and self soothe when needed..
- E.
  I have intimate and vulnerable connections woven into my everyday life.
7.
How do you feel about people knowing you and seeing who you are?
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- A.
  I’m afraid of people knowing too much, so I actively hide details or minimize my answers.
- B.
  I’m afraid of people knowing too much, but I still wish others would ask more or want to know me better.
- C.
  I try to share with others, but it does not appear that those around me don’t receive it well or seem interested.
- D.
  I initiate sharing with healthy others and work at being seen and known.
- E.
  I prioritize both knowing others and being known in my relationships and actively create an environment for that.
8.
How often would you describe yourself as a caretaker in your relationships with others?
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- A.
  I’m drawn to relationships where I end up being the caretaker. It makes me feel needed.
- B.
  I caretake often, but it feels overwhelming, and I want a change.
- C.
  I’m recognizing the people in my life who are overtakers and am realizing I don’t want to overgive.
- D.
  I live by my personal boundaries to make sure I am only in mutual partnership where I can give safely.
- E.
  I regularly give and receive within mutual relationships without concern as those around me are safe and available.
9.
How connected are you to your emotions and your emotional body?
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- A.
  I’m detached from my emotions and body. I often distract myself when triggered or overwhelmed.
- B.
  My body-emotion connection is limited. I often feel anger and sadness, but mostly I feel numb.
- C.
  I feel my emotions often, but I worry that I may be feeling them too much. I don’t quite know what to do with my emotions.
- D.
  I notice and experience a wide range of emotions in my body. I have skills to process them effectively and still feel safe
- E.
  I’m deeply connected to my emotions and pleasure. I allow myself the freedom and self acceptance to feel what I need to feel.
10.
Which best describes your relationship with shame?
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- A.
  I have struggle often with self loathing and shame.
- B.
  I like myself, but I feel like it could be more. I carry unwanted shame.
- C.
  I struggle with my self-esteem, but I use the skills I have when I can. I actively try to forgive myself when needed.
- D.
  I’m actively changing my thoughts and practicing more self-compassion when triggered or upset.
- E.
  I have a solid sense of self, know who I am, and I practice self-acceptance and self compassion even in hard moments.

Quiz Outcomes

1.
You are in Phase 1: The Stuck Woman
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For the Stuck Woman, self-intimacy looks like disconnection and self-doubt. Her intimacy with others looks like clinging to the wrong people or pushing them away out of fear. She feels trapped in repeating cycles, struggling with self-worth and unhealthy attachments. She may chase unavailable people or avoid intimacy out of fear. The Stuck Woman feels lost in love and within herself. She often repeats the same painful cycles — chasing unavailable people, avoiding commitment, or numbing out when she feels lonely. Relationships leave her drained, and when she’s alone, she questions her worth. Deep down, she aches for love but fears she may never find it.Strengths Even here, her sensitivity shows her heart’s capacity for deep love. The fact that she is seeking insight reflects courage — a spark of possibility ready to grow.Growth AreasShe can be in denial about how deep her self destructive patterns go. She needs help building self-awareness, reconnecting with her body, and learning to meet her needs without depending on others to fill the void.Goal & GiftThe goal for this phase is: to build awareness of what is happening.The gift of this phase is: Opportunity (for transformation).Next Steps The BGH Method supports her in breaking toxic cycles and starting her journey toward empowerment, the next stage of growth.
2.
You are in Phase 2: The Awakened Woman
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For the Awakened Woman, self-intimacy looks like beginning to recognize her patterns. Her intimacy with others looks like trying to change, but often repeating old cycles.The Awakened Woman has opened her eyes. She now sees her patterns, knows something must shift, and even tries new approaches — yet still ends up back in familiar pain. This awareness feels both empowering and frustrating. She blames herself when change doesn’t stick, wondering if true love is possible for her.Strengths (Hidden Opportunities)She is no longer in denial. Her self-reflection and willingness to ask questions show strength and readiness to grow.Growth AreasShe needs guidance to trust herself, release shame when she slips, and turn awareness into real transformation.Goal & GiftThe goal for this phase is: Build grounding and safety.The gift of this phase is: Empowerment through awareness.Next StepsThe BGH Method helps her strengthen boundaries and grow into the clarity and self-trust that mark the next stage.
3.
You are in Phase 3: The Surrendered Woman
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For the Surrendered Woman, self-intimacy looks like clearing all ties and actions that no longer serve her and feeling the emotions that follow. Her intimacy with others looks like pruning toxic ties and cautiously testing new connections. She is actively letting go of toxic people and behaviors, even when it feels painful. She’s learning to trust her intuition and set boundaries. This stage is about release. The Surrendered Woman lets go of unhealthy people and patterns, even when it hurts. She may feel grief, loneliness, or heaviness as she cleanses, but beneath the pain lies hope. Her boundaries are stronger, and her voice is clearer. Though she sometimes doubts herself, she is closer than ever to building healthy, lasting connections.Strengths (Hidden Opportunities)Her willingness to release the old is proof of courage. Every “no” she says is a step toward the love she deserves.Growth AreasShe needs tools to process grief, regulate emotions, and fully trust her intuition as she rebuilds. She may have unresolved resentment and anger (even about issues previously processed) she needs to clear.Goal & GiftThe goal for this phase is: To reconnect to and trust her gut and intuition.The gift of this phase is: Clarity (about relationships and what does not serve her)Next StepsThe BGH Method helps her deepen boundaries and transform grief into clarity, preparing her to thrive in the next stage.
4.
You are in Phase 4: The Evolving Woman
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For the Evolving Woman, self-intimacy looks like practicing self-love, curiosity, and self-forgiveness when needed. Her intimacy with others looks like seeking consistency and responding to triggers with growth instead of chaos. She attracts positive relationships and is learning to respond to triggers with growth rather than fear. The Evolving Woman has come far. She feels lighter, more joyful, and more connected to her worth. She sets strong boundaries and is no longer available for games. Dating or friendships may look different now because she chooses quality over chaos. She thrives more days than not, though she may still feel protective or afraid of slipping back.Strengths (Hidden Opportunities) She initiates deeper connection, practices self-care, and attracts healthier people.Growth Areas She needs to release lingering hypervigilance, strengthen forgiveness, and expand her ability to live in ease and flow.Goal & GiftThe goal for this phase is: Connect with inner happiness and joyThe gift of this phase is: Thriving and seeing tangible evidence of the benefits of her workNext StepsThe BGH Method helps her refine self-care, release self-doubt, and step into the freedom awaiting in Phase 5.
5.
You are in Phase 5: The Healed & Loved Woman
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For the Healed & Loved Woman, self-intimacy looks like deep acceptance and self-trust. Her intimacy with others looks like mutual, nourishing love built on freedom and clarity. She embodies balanced self-reliance, freedom, and mutual, nourishing love. She thrives with or without others, navigating life with ease and clarity. This is the highest stage of self-intimacy. The Healed & Loved Woman feels grounded, whole, and free. She knows her worth and doesn’t rely on others to prove it. Relationships enrich her life, but she thrives with or without them. She navigates triggers with grace, communicates needs with ease, and lives with flow and purpose.Strengths (Hidden Opportunities) She embodies healthy love, modeling what’s possible for others. She is full connected to herself and enjoys the benefits of ease and flow.Growth Areas Her growth lies in expanding her purpose and deepening emotional and spiritual connection.Goal & GiftThe goal for this phase is: Ease and flow through self-love.The gift of this phase is: Freedom to live and love without fear.Next StepsThe BGH Method supports her in maintaining freedom and expanding into her fullest purpose, allowing her to embody love at every level.