The Intimacy Block Quiz: Decoding your nervous system

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  When I start feeling close to someone, I notice a sudden urge to pull back.

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False
• 2.
  I have a hard time relaxing during sex because my mind has 1,000 thoughts that pull me out of the moment

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False
• 3.
  I fake orgasms or exaggerate how much I'm enjoying sex because I don't want to hurt my partner's feelings.

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False
• 4.
  I'm so busy with work I don't have time for sex.

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False
• 5.
  When things are heating up, I feel restless — like I need to distract myself or leave.

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False
• 6.
  During sex, I zone out, can't feel much, or feel disconnected from my body.

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False
• 7.
  I say yes to sex when I don't want it because I want to keep my partner happy.

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False
• 8.
  I feel irritated and defensive when my partner brings up sex, even though I care about them.

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False
• 9.
  I barely have enough energy to do my adult-ing, let alone think about sex

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False
• 10.
  I sometimes feel trapped- like my mind is buzzing but my body is stuck.

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False
• 11.
  When there's conflict, I say what my partner wants to hear so we can just move on.

  • A.
    True
  • B.
    False

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  FIGHT

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  Btw, everything here applies to both solo and partnered sex. You don't need a partner to start your sexual healing.Based on your responses, your Intimacy Block is:FIGHTMain Struggle: Letting your guard downYour nervous system learned to protect you through confrontation. You may notice a need to defend, push away, or control situations when closeness feels risky. Your boundaries feel more like walls, keeping people from getting too close. You can be quick to cutting people off. Defensiveness is common for you when the topic of intimacy comes up, whether you’re listening to a sex podcast, or getting feedback from a a partner. You may have even notice it come up while reading these results.You may be quick to find faults in potential partners, or get "the ick" easily. The walls you have up make it hard for you to feel emotionally connected in sex, even when that's what you really want.The Queer Lens: Many sapphics developed Fight patterns to protect their queer desire in hostile environments. Guarding against rejection, ridicule, or erasure can harden into walls that keep intimacy out—even with safe partners.GOAL: Show your body that two things are true: it is safe to open up to receive, and that your aggression doesn't have to mean pushing others away.No matter what your intimacy block is, you can always rewire that pattern.Check your inbox for the Bonus Guide that includes specific practices to rewire your nervous system so that sex and intimacy feels safe and fun.Until next time,Danie(aka The Sapphic Sexologist)
• 2.
  FLIGHT

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  Congrats, – by completing the "Intimacy Block Quiz", you've shown your commitment to sexual healing and building more satisfying queer sex and relationships. 🙌Everything here applies to both solo and partnered sex. You don't need a partner to start your sexual healing.Based on your responses, your Intimacy Block is:FLIGHTMain Struggle: Slowing down/staying stillYour nervous system learned to protect you through staying ready to leave at any time.You often feel restless or anxious, worrying about he past and the future of your relationships. You may struggle to stay focused during sex, which making it difficult to orgasm. Distraction can be a genius way of mentally separating yourself from the risk of vulnerability that comes sex and intimacyYou may be a preemptive striker in relationships- meaning that you emotionally disconnect or leave before the other person can leave you. This hyper vigilance often causes sexual connection to fade quickly.Your schedule easily gets over-booked because subconsciously, you stay distracted with work or social plans to avoid what happens when you sit still. All the go-go-go makes it nearly impossible to slow down to the present moment, where deep pleasure and intimacy can be created and enjoyed.The Queer Lens: For sapphics, Flight patterns can get reinforced from growing up with no models of queer intimacy. Without seeing your desire reflected back in healthy ways, it can feel safer to escape that part of you than to risk the unknown path of queer intimacy.GOAL: Show your body that slowing down not only is safe, but that it can feel good.No matter what your intimacy block is, you can always rewire that pattern.Check your inbox for the Bonus Guide that includes specific practices to rewire your nervous system so that sex and intimacy feels safe and fun.Until next time,Danie(aka The Sapphic Sexologist)
• 3.
  FREEZE

  Image Source

  Congrats, – by completing the "Intimacy Block Quiz", you've shown your commitment to sexual healing and building more satisfying queer sex and relationships. 🙌Everything here applies to both solo and partnered sex. You don't need a partner to start your sexual healing.Based on your responses, your Intimacy Block is:FREEZEMain Struggle: Staying present in your bodyYour nervous system learned to protect you through dissociating, or mentally 'leaving the building.'In sex and intimacy, this can look like not remembering parts of the encounter, going somewhere else in your mind, feeling like you can't move or speak, or watching your body from above.After sex, you may experience times when you feel confused on whether you actually wanted it. Because even though you chose the encounter, you still feel empty after and felt little to nothing from it. There often is certain positions, energies or sexual acts that trigger the Freeze response.Freeze originally gets wired as your go to protection when a threat could not be fought or escaped. (This shows up most commonly in response to assault, or growing up in strict religious households where sexual desire meant eternal damnation.)The Queer Lens: Many sapphics learned to Freeze because your desire was shamed or erased. Freezing became the safest way to survive a homophobic environment or even the Compulsory Heterosexuality rhetoric of society at large. GOAL: Become more present in your body so it can learn that feeling is safe, and that your pace will be honored.No matter what your intimacy block is, you can always rewire that pattern.Check your inbox for the Bonus Guide that includes specific practices to rewire your nervous system so that sex and intimacy feels safe and fun.Until next time,Danie(aka The Sapphic Sexologist)
• 4.
  FAWN

  Image Source

  Congrats, – by completing the "Intimacy Block Quiz", you've shown your commitment to sexual healing and building more satisfying queer sex and relationships. 🙌Everything here applies to both solo and partnered sex. You don't need a partner to start your sexual healing.Based on your responses, your Intimacy Block is:FAWNMain Struggle: Prioritizing your desiresYour nervous system learned to protect you through appeasing.You struggle to set boundaries in your relationships and over-give emotionally and physically. You may say yes, smile and bend the truth about how much you enjoy intimacy to keep your partner close. (This isn't malicious btw, it's a survival strategy.) This overriding of your body through enduring and performing leads to resentment and eventually will shut down your libido entirely.You feel on edge in relationships, like you need to make sure your partner feels ok at all times. Sex feels like something you do to keep your partner satisfied, rather than an experience of pleasure for yourself.You easily make your relationship the center of your world, and may not have ever stopped to explore what YOU want and need from sex and intimacy to make it satisfying and worth while. Being the center of attention in sex feels very uncomfortable and you prefer to have your partner do whatever they want.The Fawn response gets wired as your go to protection when it was safer in the past to be on a perpetrator's good side to avoid further pain. This is common if you have experienced repeated trauma or are living with C-PTSD.The Queer Lens: Compulsory heterosexuality further reinforces this survival strategy by pushing many queer women to perform desire for men while ignoring their own. GOAL: Show your body that your needs, desires, and pleasure matter and are important. That you can be loved without erasing yourself.No matter what your intimacy block is, you can always rewire that pattern.Check your inbox for the Bonus Guide that includes specific practices to rewire your nervous system so that sex and intimacy feels safe and fun.Until next time,Danie(aka The Sapphic Sexologist)