What’s your grief supporter strength?

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Quiz Questions

1.
A coworker shares that they're getting a divorce and feels overwhelmed juggling work projects, legal logistics, and emotional tension with their soon-to-be-ex. Which response sounds most like you?
- A.
  “Divorce is a huge shift in the foundation of your life. I can see how this feels overwhelming.”
- B.
  “This season sounds like a bunch of heavy things happening at once. Right now, it's understandable that everything feels hard.”
- C.
  “I’m really sorry you’re carrying all of this. I'm here for you.”
2.
You bump into your neighbor whose dog, Charlie, died last month. They say, “I don’t even know what I need. Everything just feels awful.” What do you instinctively say to them?
- A.
  “You don’t need to know what you need. I don't have words, but I’m here to remember Charlie with you.”
- B.
  “Right now it probably feels like Charlie's death is all there is, and that’s incredibly hard.”
- C.
  “That makes sense. You’re grieving Charlie, and it's normal for everything to feel bad without him.”
3.
Your friend’s mom died over a year ago. Most people have stopped checking in, but you’re thinking about them today. What feels most natural to say?
- A.
  “In this moment, I can imagine that your heart is still heavy. Grief doesn’t run on a schedule.”
- B.
  “I know life has kept moving, but your mom's death still matters. I remember and miss her too.”
- C.
  “Even though time has passed, this can still be a really tender season. You're allowed to feel that.”
4.
A family member is dreading an upcoming holiday because it’s their first one after a loss. Which response sounds most like you?
- A.
  “Of course this holiday feels heavy—nothing about it is the same as it was last year."
- B.
  “I’ll send you a text that day. You don’t have to respond, but you won’t be alone.”
- C.
  “I totally understand why this holiday season is hard. This year, it's okay to skip it or things differently if you want."
5.
When someone you care about is deep in grief, how do you generally show up for them?
- A.
  I keep checking in over time, even when there’s nothing helpful to say.
- B.
  I affirm that their reactions and emotions are normal.
- C.
  I gently name the season they’re in without rushing them toward hope or happiness.
6.
What do you want most for the grievers in your life?
- A.
  I want them to feel seen and understood.
- B.
  I want them to feel like it's possible to keep going.
- C.
  I want them to feel remembered, even years after their loss.

Quiz Outcomes

1.
You are the Perceptive Permission-Granter!
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You have a natural ability to step into someone else’s emotional world and say, “Yes. Your feelings make sense to me.”What it means to be a Perceptive Permission-GranterWhen someone in your orbit is grieving, your instinct isn’t to fix, reframe, or rush them forward. Instead, you listen closely—between the words and underneath them. You put yourself in their shoes and notice the emotional logic of grief, helping them feel seen, heard, and understood.In a world that constantly demands grievers “look on the bright side” or “move on,” your verbal validation offers them something radical and relieving:"You’re not wrong for feeling this way."People often feel calmer, steadier, and more understood after talking with you—not because you changed their feelings, but because you honored them.Your power phrases:"Of course you feel overwhelmed. You’re grieving.""Your feelings make sense to me.""I can see how you got there.""I hear you.""I believe you."YOUR TOP PRIORITY: Helping people feel seen and heardYOUR SUPPORTER STRENGTH: Offering permission to feelWant to get even better at supporting someone grieving?My book Of Course I’m Here Right Now was written for you.You'll learn:How you can grant grievers permission to feel—even when monsters like perfectionism and productivity get in the wayDozens of short, helpful scripts for addressing all kinds of loss—from the everyday to the life-shatteringWhy your gift of validation is vital for strengthening relationships and breaking society's toxic grief beliefs📖 Order Of Course I'm Here Right Now 📖💌 P.S. Check your inboxThis may have been a LOT to read, so I've sent your quiz results to your inbox for safekeeping.Over the next few days, I'll also send you my free "Supporting Someone" podcast series, so you can get even more tips and tools for being there for the people you care about most.And if you have a friend who might like to know their grief supporter strength, please send this quiz their way.💚 Shelby
2.
You are the Compassionate Companion!
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Your gift is sticking around for the long haul.What it means to be a Compassionate CompanionWhen someone you care about is grieving, you don’t disappear once the casseroles stop or the initial shock of the loss wears off. You understand—instinctively—that grief is not a one-time event, and that being remembered over time matters.You’re comfortable with small-yet-meaningful check-ins that don't demand a response. You add your grievers' important dates to your mental calendar. And in a society that demands grievers "get over it" as quickly as possible, your ongoing presence offers them a lifeline in the midst of their grief:"You and your losses are not forgotten."People often feel comforted, seen, and cared about after talking with you—not because you said anything particularly profound, but because you kept showing up when everyone else went "back to normal."Your power phrases:"No need to respond. I'm here.""Your grief is not scary to me.""I have not forgotten that you're grieving.""We can just exist together.""I'll keep checking on you."YOUR TOP PRIORITY: Helping people feel less aloneYOUR SUPPORTER STRENGTH: Consistency and care over timeWant to get even better at supporting someone grieving?My book Of Course I’m Here Right Now was written for you.You'll learn:How you can companion the grievers in your life—whether you're supporting them in real life or from a distance (hello, text, email, and snail mail options!)Dozens of short, helpful scripts for addressing all kinds of loss—from the everyday to the life-shatteringWhy your gift of ongoing presence is vital for combating loneliness and strengthening relationships📖 Order Of Course I'm Here Right Now 📖💌 P.S. Check your inboxThis may have been a LOT to read, so I've sent your quiz results to your inbox for safekeeping.Over the next few days, I'll also send you my free "Supporting Someone" podcast series, so you can get even more tips and tools for being there for the people you care about most.And if you have a friend who might like to know their grief supporter strength, please send this quiz their way.💚 Shelby
3.
You are the Narrative Navigator!
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You have a natural ability to see the bigger picture—without denying the pain of the moment.What it means to be a Narrative NavigatorWhen someone in your circle is grieving, you can sense two truths at once: This moment is incredibly hard… and this moment is not all there is.But you don’t force hope. You don’t rush grievers towards happiness or "silver linings." What you do is help people name the season they’re in—and remind them that their grief exists within a larger life, even when it doesn’t feel that way yet.In a world of black-and-white extremes that values the destination over the journey, you see the gray temporary-ness of this moment, offering them something subtule... yet radically true:"This is really hard, but this is not all there is."People often feel calmer, steadier, and more present after talking with you—not because you cheered them up but because you named this difficult moment in time as just that: a difficult moment. Not forever awfulness; just awfulness right now.Your power phrases:"I can see how hard you're trying in this season.""Right now, I can understand why everything feels awful.""I imagine this time of year brings up a lot of memories.""This moment is really difficult. Absolutely.""You're right. In this chapter of your life, joy feels impossible."YOUR TOP PRIORITY: Helping people feel less stuck in griefYOUR SUPPORTER STRENGTH: Subtle perspective and framingWant to get even better at supporting someone grieving?My book Of Course I’m Here Right Now was written for you.You'll learn:How you can help grievers in your life zoom out from the pain of a moment—even when hope and happiness feel far awayDozens of short, helpful scripts for addressing all kinds of loss—from the everyday to the life-shatteringWhy your gift of narration is vital for strengthening relationships and changing the story of what's possible in the future 📖 Order Of Course I'm Here Right Now 📖💌 P.S. Check your inboxThis may have been a LOT to read, so I've sent your quiz results to your inbox for safekeeping.Over the next few days, I'll also send you my free "Supporting Someone" podcast series, so you can get even more tips and tools for being there for the people you care about most.And if you have a friend who might like to know their grief supporter strength, please send this quiz their way.💚 Shelby

What’s your grief supporter strength?

A 1-minute quiz to discover how you naturally show up for someone grieving.

Quiz Questions

Quiz Outcomes