FOG Quiz

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  I worry about how my Mum will react if I say no, set a boundary, or do things differently from what she expects.

  • A.
    Yes/Often
  • B.
    No
• 2.
  I feel a strong sense of responsibility for my Mum’s emotions, wellbeing, or happiness, even when it comes at a cost to me.

  • A.
    No
  • B.
    Yes/Often
• 3.
  When I prioritise my own needs, I feel guilty, selfish, or like I’m doing something wrong.

  • A.
    Yes/Often
  • B.
    No
• 4.
  I often question whether my feelings or experiences with my Mum are valid, or wonder if I’m being too sensitive.

  • A.
    No
  • B.
    Yes/Often
• 5.
  I find myself explaining, justifying, fixing, or trying to manage situations with my Mum to keep things calm or avoid conflict.

  • A.
    No
  • B.
    Yes/Often
• 6.
  Part of me believes that if I change how I relate to my Mum, something bad will happen, such as conflict, withdrawal, rejection, or being seen as ungrateful.

  • A.
    No
  • B.
    Yes/Often
• 7.
  Even when I know something isn’t healthy for me, I struggle to act differently with my Mum.

  • A.
    Yes/Often
  • B.
    No

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  Low FOG

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  If you recognised yourself in these questions, please know this isn’t a personal failing. FOG is a learned pattern rooted in attachment, not a lack of strength.You Have Growing Clarity and ChoiceWhat this meansYour responses suggest that fear, obligation and guilt are not running the show in the same way they once might have. You likely have some awareness of where responsibility lies and an emerging sense of self trust in how you relate to your mum.That doesn’t mean everything feels easy. It simply means you are already able to pause, reflect, and choose your responses more consciously than you may realise.You may still feel occasional guilt, discomfort, or emotional pull, especially at certain times of year, but these feelings are no longer in full control.What’s important to knowThis didn’t happen by accident. It reflects growth, insight, and inner work. Many women underestimate how far they’ve come because they’re still focused on what’s difficult rather than what’s changed.Your work now is not about fixing yourself, but about continuing to strengthen self trust and staying connected to what you know to be true.A gentle next stepIf you’d like to deepen this clarity and feel more confident navigating tricky moments, my work focuses on helping women consolidate these shifts without becoming rigid or disconnected.You don’t need to make big changes, just conscious ones.
• 2.
  Moderate FOG

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  If you recognised yourself in these questions, please know this isn’t a personal failing. FOG is a learned pattern rooted in attachment, not a lack of strength.You’re Becoming Aware, But Still Feel PulledWhat this meansYour answers suggest that you’re in a very common, very understandable place. You can see that something isn’t quite right in how you relate to your mum, but fear, obligation and guilt still have a strong emotional pull.You may feel caught between knowing what you need and feeling unable to act on it. You might overthink, second guess yourself, or feel responsible for managing situations to keep the peace.This is not a failure. It’s a sign that your awareness is growing faster than your nervous system’s sense of safety.What’s important to knowFOG patterns are learned early, often in relationships where love felt conditional or unpredictable. They don’t disappear just because you understand them intellectually.Change here is not about confrontation or cutting ties. It’s about gently renegotiating where responsibility sits and learning how to stay connected to yourself without escalating conflict.A gentle next stepSupport can be incredibly helpful at this stage. Having language, tools, and shared understanding makes it easier to practise new ways of relating.This is exactly the kind of work we do inside Daughters of the Roses and through my courses and reflections.You don’t need to rush. Understanding is already shifting things.
• 3.
  High FOG

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  If you recognised yourself in these questions, please know this isn’t a personal failing. FOG is a learned pattern rooted in attachment, not a lack of strength.You’ve Been Carrying Too Much For Too LongWhat this meansYour responses suggest that fear, obligation and guilt are playing a significant role in your relationship with your mum. You may feel stuck, anxious, or emotionally exhausted, even when you’re trying your best to be reasonable or understanding.You might feel responsible for her emotions, worry about upsetting her, or struggle to trust your own needs and perceptions. Even when something doesn’t feel right, it can feel almost impossible to act differently.This can be deeply painful and isolating.What’s important to knowThere is nothing wrong with you.High FOG is not a personality flaw. It is a survival pattern that developed in a relationship where your sense of safety depended on managing someone else’s emotional world.You are not weak for finding this hard. You are responding exactly as your system learned to.A gentle next stepThis is not about drastic decisions or breaking up your family. For most women, the work here is about understanding what you can and cannot fix, reclaiming your power in small, steady ways, and learning to tolerate the discomfort that comes with change.Support matters here. You don’t need to untangle this alone.My work exists to help women move through this with compassion, clarity, and care, at a pace that feels safe.