The Quiz

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  1. When a new relationship starts, what do you instinctively do first, without trying?

  • A.
    Keep things fun and easy so it doesn’t feel too serious too fast
  • B.
    Want them to see the best version of me early on
  • C.
    Take my time letting someone really get to know me
  • D.
    Adjust myself a little to keep things smooth between us
  • E.
    Make sure I’m staying true to myself from the start
  • F.
    Get pulled in by the intensity and how alive it feels
  • G.
    Naturally start supporting or helping them where I can
• 2.
  2. When you’re unsure about a new relationship, what do you usually do?

  • A.
    Pull back if I start to feel pressured or boxed in
  • B.
    Pull back a little so I can think about things on my own
  • C.
    Become more aware of how I’m coming across to them
  • D.
    Try a little harder to show my value or what I bring
  • E.
    Keep things casual so it doesn’t feel too serious yet
  • F.
    Start overthinking and replaying things in my mind
  • G.
    Focus on helping or improving things where I can
• 3.
  3. What makes you feel comfortable and connected with someone in a relationship?

  • A.
    Feeling free to be myself without pressure to be a certain way
  • B.
    Knowing they genuinely care about me
  • C.
    Feeling relaxed and able to let my guard down
  • D.
    Feeling appreciated and recognized for who I am
  • E.
    Feeling like I still have room to myself
  • F.
    Feeling needed or valued in their life
  • G.
    When things feel easy and emotionally uncomplicated
• 4.
  4. What’s the hardest part of being in a relationship for you?

  • A.
    Feeling like I’m losing control over my own choices
  • B.
    Feeling emotionally worn down over time
  • C.
    Feeling like things are getting too intense
  • D.
    Feeling like I don’t have enough room to just be myself
  • E.
    Feeling pressure to constantly show up at my best
  • F.
    Feeling their attention or closeness suddenly shift or fade
  • G.
    Feeling like I have to work harder to keep things okay between us
• 5.
  5. What’s usually the first sign a relationship is going downhill for you?

  • A.
    I notice myself trying harder to make things work
  • B.
    They start wanting more closeness than feels natural to me
  • C.
    I start overthinking and can’t seem to turn it off
  • D.
    I start worrying about doing or saying the wrong thing
  • E.
    Things stop feeling easy or enjoyable
  • F.
    I start feeling pressured to be a certain way
  • G.
    I start feeling emotionally tired or depleted
• 6.
  6. When a relationship ends, what do you usually tell yourself?

  • A.
    Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be that serious
  • B.
    I can’t believe it’s really over
  • C.
    I should have done more or done it better
  • D.
    I think I knew deep down it wasn’t right
  • E.
    I keep wondering what I did wrong
  • F.
    I wasn’t going to lose myself trying to make it work
  • G.
    I stayed too long trying to hold everything together
• 7.
  7. What keeps happening in your relationships, even though you know better?

  • A.
    I start pulling back when things stop feeling easy
  • B.
    I keep trying to fix things instead of walking away
  • C.
    I start worrying about upsetting them
  • D.
    I get attached before I even realize it
  • E.
    I push back when I feel like someone is trying to control me
  • F.
    I keep prioritizing their needs over my own
  • G.
    I end up needing more and more personal space

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  THE FEELER - The Open One

  Image Source

  You don’t want to fall so fast.You just feel things early and you feel them deeply.Your body responds before your mind has time to slow it down.So when a connection starts, it’s intense right away.The patternYou tell yourself to go slowly and not to get ahead of yourself.You want to stay grounded.But when you like someone your attention locks onto them. You start tracking the connection. You don't do it in an obsessive way but it’s like a natural instinct. A change in their tone or even a pause. You notice everything.You don't need constant reassurance but uncertainty is very uncomfortable in your body. Not knowing where you stand feels intense and you want to resolve it.The trait you struggle with You can’t help but care deeply. You just hate how it can consume you.You notice how easily your world reorganizes around someone else. How much space they take up without trying to.The hardest part isn’t feeling so much but it’s the uncertainty underneath it. Is this mutual? Is this real or am I alone in it? You want to know you’re not imagining it. And when you don’t know, everything intensifies.One thing to noticeThis pattern isn’t just about romantic love. You’ll recognize it in how much work affects you. In how quickly stress or anxiety shows up in your body. With money, it’s never just practical for you, it feels personal. With your friends, you’re the one who feels everything.Love is just where it becomes impossible for you to ignore.What happens nextI just emailed you your next step.Look for an email from Susan | The Love TemplateOver the next 7 weeks, I’ll send you one email each week about the Feeler Love Template. We’ll look at how it formed and why it keeps repeating.No pressure. You don't need to figure it all out yet. Just stay with it long enough to start understanding the pattern.You might recognize parts of yourself in more than one template. This one just reflects the pattern that shows up most often.
• 2.
  THE PLEASER - The Harmonizing One

  Image Source

  You’re not afraid of conflict. Avoiding it just became the safest move for you.You’re very tuned in to people and notice their emotional shifts. You can feel when something’s off even before they say anything.Keeping things smooth and calm is a strategy you've learned.The patternWhen you care about someone you start adjusting what you do and say around them.You just soften your opinions a little and maybe pause before you say something. Without even realizing it, you’re choosing the version of yourself that feels easiest for other people.If people around you are stressed you might think “what did I do?” or “what can I change so they’re not stressed?” You don't manipulate people but you do what you have to so the connection to stays calm. This pattern is because somewhere along the way, you learned that relational discomfort is not safe for you. Harmony is what's safe. The trait you struggle withYou like being considerate.You just hate how often you have to hold yourself back to be that way.You hate how quickly you move your own needs to the bottom of the list. You hate how natural it feels to stay quiet even when something really matters to you. What you really fear underneath that is if you stop being easy going everything will fall apart. If you speak up and rock the boat, you might lose your relationship.So you stay agreeable and pleasant. You avoid conflict even if it costs you.One thing to noticeThis pattern doesn’t only show up in love. You might notice it in your friendships where you are “the nice one.” You’ll recognize it in work situations where you take on more than you should.In money decisions where you don’t charge enough.In your body, where you ignore what your body is telling you.Love just happens to be where the pattern becomes the hardest to ignore.What happens nextI just emailed you your next step.Look for an email from Susan | The Love TemplateOver the next 7 weeks, I’ll send you one email each week about the Pleaser Love Template. We’ll look at how it formed and why it keeps repeating.No pressure. You don't need to figure it all out yet. Just stay with it long enough to start understanding the pattern.You might recognize parts of yourself in more than one template. This one just reflects the pattern that shows up most often.
• 3.
  THE LONER - The Independent One

  Image Source

  You might care a lot but you still need to pull away.You pull away because too much at once throws you off.You think clearly when you have time to process things. When there’s space, you’re steady. When there isn’t enough space, things start to feel rushed or noisy inside.You don’t want too much connection all at once.The patternAt the beginning of a relationship, things usually feel manageable for you. You’re interested, but there’s still some room to breathe. No pressure. But then expectations start to grow. They want more communication and more togetherness. They want to be closer to you. That’s when something shifts. It doesn’t shift dramatically but just enough that it starts to feel like pressure.So you start to create some distance.Sometimes you do it intentionally and sometimes without even realizing you’re even doing it. You don’t create distance because they did something wrong. It’s just that things start to move faster than you can process comfortably.The trait you struggle with You don’t feel bad for needing your space.But you don’t like it when that space turns into distance you didn’t totally choose either. You tell yourself you just need time. And most of the time, that’s true.It’s just that once you have enough space, you start to notice something else. You notice a quiet sense that you stepped away from something you actually wanted.You don’t necessarily regret it. But you see it.One thing to noticeThis pattern doesn’t only show up in your relationships.You’ll see it at work, where being too close to the same people all the time feels draining. With money, where being dependent on other people is uncomfortable. It’s in your body, when intensity makes you shut down. With your friends, you keep your independence. And in your daily life, when everything starts asking more from you than you really want to give.Love is just usually where it becomes impossible to miss.What happens nextI just emailed you your next step.Look for an email from Susan | The Love TemplateOver the next 7 weeks, I’ll send you one email each week about the Loner Love Template. We’ll look at how it formed and why it keeps repeating.No pressure. You don't need to figure it all out yet. Just stay with it long enough to start understanding the pattern.You might recognize parts of yourself in more than one template. This one just reflects the pattern that shows up most often.
• 4.
  THE REBEL - The Dignified One

  Image Source

  Love isn’t the problem.Feeling controlled is.You value your independence and your right to decide things for yourself.The moment you feel boxed in or a relationship starts to feel restricting, you want out. Not in a dramatic way. Just on principle.The patternAt the beginning, things feel good.You’re interested in them, there’s chemistry and you feel free. Until they start to have expectations of you. They have their routines and their demands. And then you may start to feel a little confined.  It feels like you’re living with rules you didn’t agree to. So you resist. You start to question things. You care about them but you also start to create some space. You do it because it feels like something is being taken from you.The trait you struggle with You don’t have a problem with commitment.You just don't want to be boxed in.You hate being managed or slowly molded into something that isn’t you. Secretly you’d rather walk away than feel owned. Even if you really want to be with the person.Freedom isn’t optional for you. It comes first.One thing to noticeThis pattern doesn’t only show up in relationships.At work, you can’t deal with being micromanaged. With money, taking risks feels more natural than being obligated. In your body, you push back when things feel too rigid. With your friends, you don’t like being told how things should be. In big life choices, you don’t like feeling locked in.Love is just where this shows up the most.What happens nextI just emailed you your next step.Look for an email from Susan | The Love TemplateOver the next 7 weeks, I’ll send you one email each week about the Rebel Love Template. We’ll look at how it formed and why it keeps repeating.No pressure. You don't need to figure it all out yet. Just stay with it long enough to start understanding the pattern.You might recognize parts of yourself in more than one template. This one just reflects the pattern that shows up most often.
• 5.
  THE NURTURER - The Giving One

  Image Source

  You don’t take care of people because you have to. It’s just what you do.You notice what they need and it feels normal to attend to their needs.You’re very steady. You’re the person who makes things work. Things that might fall apart if you weren’t paying attention.  That’s not an accident. It’s a role you learned early on.The patternWhen you care about someone, you automatically feel some responsibility for them.You’re a good listener and you try to anticipate what they might need. You’ll even adjust your own schedule or plans to keep things running smoothly for them.If something feels off, your instinct isn’t to bring it up or bail out. Your instinct is to carry more of the load for them. You might tell yourself, “if I can just do more for them, everything will settle down.” And things do settle. At least on the surface. The trait you struggle with You like the fact that you’re caring.You just resent it when people don’t notice how much you give.You have no problem giving a lot. You genuinely want to. But at some point down the line, the giving and receiving starts to feel uneven. You take on more than your share. You’re the one keeping the peace. You’re the one keeping things from falling apart. Underneath all of that giving, you secretly wish someone would meet you halfway.You don’t want to have to ask. You just want them to do it because they see you.One thing to noticeThis pattern doesn’t just show up in romantic relationships.You’ll see it at work, where you take on responsibility that isn’t yours. With money, you put other people first. In your body, you push past being tired or uncomfortable. With your friends, you’re the reliable one. Love is where it becomes really clear.What happens nextI just emailed you your next step.Look for an email from Susan | The Love TemplateOver the next 7 weeks, I’ll send you one email each week about the Nurturer Love Template. We’ll look at how it formed and why it keeps repeating.No pressure. You don't need to figure it all out yet. Just stay with it long enough to start understanding the pattern.You might recognize parts of yourself in more than one template. This one just reflects the pattern that shows up most often.
• 6.
  THE OVERACHIEVER - The Impressive One

  Image Source

  You’re not that casual about love.You show up with intention.You’re capable and put-together. You know you bring value. You try to do things well.This has worked for you for a long time, not just in relationships, but in work and life too. Until it doesn’t.Your patternWhen you care about someone, you don’t fall apart over them. You step up.You’re serious about doing things right. You pick up on what’s needed and you take care of it. You pay closer attention. You want to be someone they can rely on.That’s the side of your pattern that you see. Then there’s another side that happens more quietly.It’s the part of you that starts measuring yourself against some internal standard. You wonder if you’re doing enough and if what you're doing still matters. You question whether you’re bringing enough to the table.You don't say this out loud, or even think it consciously, but there’s a part of you that believes, if I keep showing up well, I’ll be chosen.The trait you struggle withThere’s one part of yourself that’s harder to live with. You like being capable but you hate that your worth feels tied to it.You hate the pressure of having to earn your security in love. Secretly you want to be chosen by someone without having to prove yourself.One thing to noticeThis pattern isn’t only showing up in love.At work, it shows up in how much you achieve. With money, it shows up in how productive you are and how much you make. And how hard you are on yourself about it. It also shows up in how you expect your body to perform. With your friends, you’re the one who has it together.You’ll recognize it everywhere. Love is just where the pattern becomes obvious.What happens nextI just emailed you your next step.Look for an email from Susan | The Love Template.Over the next 7 weeks, I’ll send you one email each week about the Overachiever Love Template. We’ll look at how it formed and why it keeps repeating.No pressure. You don't need to figure it all out yet. Just stay with it long enough to start understanding the pattern.You might recognize parts of yourself in more than one template. This one just reflects the pattern that shows up most often.
• 7.
  THE ESCAPIST - The Easygoing One

  Image Source

  You’re not pulling away from someone. You’re pulling away from how it feels.You step away because staying in it for too long costs you more than it seems to cost other people.You like to keep some space. Just enough to feel okay.That space isn’t random.It’s how you keep yourself together.The patternWhen a relationship begins, you show up enough. You make a connection.But as the expectations to communicate grow and the question “where is this going?” comes up, something starts to change. You pull back. Not always outwardly. Not always in a way that anyone can point to.You might still be there physically, but emotionally, you step back slightly. It’s not a decision. It’s a reflex.Staying in it for too long starts to feel draining, so your system finds a quieter way to get through it.The trait you struggle with You don’t think of yourself as distant.You think of yourself as low-drama and pretty self-contained.But sometimes you notice something else. You drift away from things before you fully realize you wanted them. You leave situations without a clear reason. You feel relief when it’s over. And then you feel nothing at all.It’s not sadness. It’s more like absence.One thing to noticeThis pattern doesn’t only show up in relationships.At work, you tend to check out instead of forcing yourself to keep going. When it comes to money, it’s easier not to deal with it. In your body, you kind of go numb. With your friends, you’re the one who disappears for a while and then comes back.In life in general, you need a break when it starts to feel like too much.Love just makes it easier to notice.What happens nextI just emailed you your next step.Look for an email from Susan | The Love TemplateOver the next 7 weeks, I’ll send you one email each week about the Escapist Love Template. We’ll look at how it formed and why it keeps repeating.No pressure. You don't need to figure it all out yet. Just stay with it long enough to start understanding the pattern.You might recognize parts of yourself in more than one template. This one just reflects the pattern that shows up most often.