Discover Why You Struggle to Ask - Or Get “No”

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  CLARITY — I know what I want

  • A.
    I have a loose idea of what I want (like “more balance,” “less stress,” or “to be more recognized”), but I don’t know exactly what that looks like.
  • B.
    When I try to explain what I want, it still feels fuzzy in my own head.
  • C.
    I know something is wrong and can articulate what’s not working, but I’m not sure what would make it better or needs to change.
• 2.
  CONVICTION — Others understand me and how it benefits them

  • A.
    I know what I want, but I don’t know how to say it in a way that feels clear, concise, and convincing.
  • B.
    I forget to include context or benefits when I make a request.
  • C.
    I worry my ask won’t make sense or won’t land the way I intend.
• 3.
  CONFIDENCE — I can ask without fear or guilt

  • A.
    I second-guess whether my ask is reasonable or deserved.
  • B.
    I hesitate to ask because I don’t want to seem difficult, needy, or selfish.
  • C.
    Even when I plan to ask, I end up waiting for a “better time.”
• 4.
  FINESSE — My asks land well

  • A.
    When I ask, I ramble, fill silence, or keep talking.
  • B.
    I walk away wondering if I undermined myself without realizing it.
  • C.
    My tone or body language doesn’t always match what I’m trying to say.
• 5.
  How do you usually prepare for important conversations?

  • A.
    I practice my delivery to ensure it’s smooth and effective.
  • B.
    I try to boost my confidence and remind myself of my worth.
  • C.
    I make sure I know exactly what I want to say and how to say it.
  • D.
    I focus on understanding my feelings and what I truly want.
• 6.
  What’s your biggest challenge when asking for what you want?

  • A.
    I worry about how my message is received.
  • B.
    I’m not always sure what I truly want.
  • C.
    I feel nervous or guilty about asking.
  • D.
    I struggle to express my needs clearly and persuasively.

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  CLARITY is where your asks breakdown

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  The Breakdown:You’re trying to ask before you’ve fully named what you want.Impact:When you’re not clear on what you want (beyond “something needs to change”) before the conversation, your asks come out vague or convoluted. This explains why nothing changes, or why you end up close to what you want, but not exactly what you want. Not because you’re incapable. Because you're not fully clear.The fix to improve your clarity:Creating space to tap into your intuition, and get clear on what you really want (not what’s expected of you, not what seems reasonable, and not what others want for you) before the moment to ask arrives.Exercise to improve your clarity:Bring a situation to mind where you haven’t asked for what you want, or received “no”. Ask yourself, "what do I really want for this situation?" Not what you don’t want, or a loose idea like “more support”, but something specific. Allow yourself to be honest with yourself.
• 2.
  CONVICTION is where your asks breakdown

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  The Breakdown: You know what you want, but you don’t yet have the words to be clear, concise, and convincing.Impact:Your ask gets softened, diluted, or over-explained. You walk away wondering if you were understood, or why you got something other than what you actually wanted.What will improve your conviction:Using a framework and process to organize your thoughts into clear, compelling language - without writing and rewriting what you want to say in your head.Exercise to improve your conviction:Ask yourself, what information does the other person need to understand what you want and why, that’ll help you be more convincing?
• 3.
  CONFIDENCE is where your asks breakdown

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  The Breakdown:You might know what you want and have the words, but fear, guilt, people-pleasing, or imposter syndrome hijacks the moment.Impact:You hesitate, second-guess yourself, or talk yourself out of asking altogether.What will improve your confidence:Understanding the beliefs and patterns that cause hesitation, and then rewiring them so you feel grounded and empowered when it’s time to speak. Many people call this deconditioning, and it’s a powerful way to develop authentic, grounded empowerment and fulfillment.Exercise to improve your confidence:Ask yourself, “what I believe about my situation and why I can’t ask, shouldn’t ask, or won’t get what i want is _____.” This is the first insight to shifting your beliefs towards confidence, worth and possibility.
• 4.
  FINESSE is where your asks breakdown

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  The Breakdown and impact:You ask, but how you ask works against you because the tone, body language, timing, or over-talking weaken the impact. Some people call this executive presence. I see it as the icing on the cake because you can be clear, have the words, and trust yourself, but it can absolutely make or break an ask.What will improve your finesse:Identifying one delivery habit that’s diluting your message (tone, timing, over-talking, etc.), and practicing a different way of showing up.Exercise to improve your finesse: What is one habit you have when you speak that might convey uncertainty or aggressiveness to others - and what can you do differently?