Am I a Secure Base Friend?

Image Source

Quiz Questions

1.
A friend texts you that they're going through something hard. What do you most naturally do?
- A.
  Respond with support and check back in a few days to see how they're doing
- B.
  React with empathy in the moment but forget to follow up
- C.
  Feel bad for them but hope it resolves itself — heavy conversations drain you
- D.
  Respond kindly when they reach out but rarely think to check in on your own
2.
How often do YOU initiate plans or check-ins with friends?
- A.
  Regularly — I think about my friends and act on it
- B.
  I think about them all the time but rarely follow through on reaching out
- C.
  Mostly when I want to do something fun and need people to join
- D.
  Rarely — life is busy and I mostly connect when our paths cross naturally
3.
A friend gently tells you that you've been hard to reach lately. Your honest reaction?
- A.
  I take it seriously and reflect on whether it's true
- B.
  I get a little defensive — I feel like they should know I care even if I don't always show it
- C.
  I brush it off — friendships shouldn't feel like obligations
- D.
  I feel guilty but honestly don't know when I'd have more time
4.
When a friend is talking about something going on in their life, you:
- A.
  Listen closely, ask follow-up questions, and make it about them
- B.
  Listen but often find yourself relating it back to your own experiences
- C.
  Engage in the moment but prefer conversations that stay light
- D.
  Listen when you're together but don't think to follow up on it later
5.
How do you handle conflict with a friend?
- A.
  It's uncomfortable but I'd rather address it than let it fester
- B.
  I want to resolve it but can get defensive and struggle to see my part in it
- C.
  I avoid it — I'd rather distance myself until things blow over
- D.
  I don't usually get close enough for real conflict to come up
6.
When a friend achieves something big, your genuine first feeling is:
- A.
  Proud and happy for them — their win feels like a shared win
- B.
  Happy for them but if I'm honest, a little comparison creeps in
- C.
  Happy in the moment but it doesn't stick with me much
- D.
  Genuinely glad for them — I just may not remember to say it
7.
How would you describe most of your friendships?
- A.
  A mix — some deep, some light, but the close ones are truly close
- B.
  I want deep friendships but they never quite seem to get there or last
- C.
  Mostly fun and easy — I know a lot of people but keep things light
- D.
  Mostly situational — built around work, a neighborhood, a shared season of life
8.
A close friend needs you to show up for something important to them — but it's inconvenient for you. You:
- A.
  Show up — that's what friendship is
- B.
  Intend to show up but sometimes drop the ball when life gets busy
- C.
  Genuinely wish them well but showing up for hard things isn't really your thing
- D.
  Would if they asked directly, but wouldn't necessarily pick up on the need yourself
9.
How vulnerable do you let yourself be with friends?
- A.
  I can go there — it's uncomfortable sometimes but I value that kind of closeness
- B.
  I want to but I tend to overshare in some moments and shut down in others
- C.
  I keep things pretty surface — vulnerability feels uncomfortable or unnecessary
- D.
  I don't often get to that level — most friendships don't go that deep for me
10.
If a friendship quietly fades — fewer texts, less contact — you:
- A.
  Notice and reach out to check in or address it
- B.
  Notice, feel bad about it, but talk yourself out of reaching out
- C.
  Let it fade — if it's not fun anymore it's probably run its course
- D.
  Assume you'll reconnect naturally when your paths cross again

Quiz Outcomes

1.
You may be...The Party Friend
Image Source
You're fun, always down for a good time and you KNOW a lot of people…but connections tend to stay surface level. You're great at starting friendships, but the deeper ones don’t stick around, and it seems like more serious friends aren’t that interested in you. You may be ok with this! If so, you bring joy and fun to people's lives, even though it stays surface. If this bothers you, and you’d like more than to be just the party friend, grab my free PDF “What is a Secure Base Friend? How do I find them? How do I be one?”
2.
You may be...the Friend of Utility
Image Source
Your friendships tend to form around shared circumstances like work, a season of life, a common need or proximity. You are friends with people you just happen to “see around” but when the circumstance changes, so does the friendship. You're loyal within context but haven't built the kind of bonds that outlast it. You may be ok with this! If so, you make the spaces that you coexist in with others more engaging, and your place there is needed. If this bothers you, and you’d like more than to be just the utility friend, grab my free PDF “What is a Secure Base Friend? How do I find them? How do I be one?”
3.
You may be...The Emerging Secure Base (almost there)
Image Source
You have the instincts and the heart for deep friendship but attempts at landing the plane have failed. You're close but something keeps getting in the way. The good news? You're exactly who this work is for and you’re ready to learn. Grab my free PDF“What is a Secure Base Friend? How do I find them? How do I be one?”
4.
You are a Secure Base Friend!
Image Source
You show up consistently, you repair when things break, and people feel safe with you. You're rare — and you probably already know friendship takes real investment. It’s people like you that make the world less lonely, so thank you for showing up securely and safely even when it is likely hard. Even the best friends benefit from deepening their understanding — grab my free PDF “What is a Secure Base Friend? How do I find them? How do I be one?”